


Body Was Made

by VeteranKlaus



Series: Bloodstain [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Blindness, Fluff, Gen, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, I just want to write trans levi, IDK where to go with it tbh, Internalized Homophobia, Internalized Transphobia, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) Has PTSD, M/M, Tags Are Hard, Temporary Blindness, Trans Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), but there is a bit, expeditions, fear of the dark, it's not all angst i promise, its levi centric if you cant tell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-07-02 01:01:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 65,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15785751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeteranKlaus/pseuds/VeteranKlaus
Summary: Completed: first of feb, 2019.It doesn’t show updates for some reason.A mission gone wrong outside the walls makes Levi have to trust his life with two cadets, and unearths a hole other treasure trove of secrets concerning the titans and life inside the walls as they know it.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!  
> So, this is my first AOT/SNK fanfic, so if anything doesn’t make sense or the characters are a bit OOC, please forgive me and feel free to give me pointers on how to make plot/characterisation better!
> 
> Updates will be slow due to school, but I’ll try my best. 
> 
> Please drop a comment if you like it, I love any feedback, it really helps keep me motivated! 
> 
> Thank you!

Levi had never been sure on why he had thought what he did when he was younger, but he had always been sure of one thing- that he was a he, and he didn’t understand why his mind didn’t match his body.

When he was younger, sometimes his mother would tell him bed time stories, and he always remembered the one she told him about the spirit of a woman whose children had been kidnapped and swapped at birth, and so she did the same to pregnant mothers when their children were still in the womb- a mother would have all the signs that their child would be born a girl, or a boy, yet despite all odds they would come out the opposite. Sometimes, they would be born as expected, but when they were old enough to communicate it, they’d claim to be the opposite sex. Sometimes, Levi thought that woman had cursed him.

He’d been born in the body of a girl, but had the mind of a boy. Despite all the physical wrongs, he knew he was a boy.

Growing up, he violently avoided anything feminine- he refused to keep his hair long, and when his mother persuaded him to do so for a while (God, he wanted to see her smile, even if it meant forcing himself to grow his hair out for a while) he ended up cutting it all off himself. His mother had been sad, but she’d kissed his forehead and cleaned the hair cut for him and said the shorter style suited him better.

She’d even said ‘him,’ as if she knew. Maybe she did.

Exercising, other than being a necessary to surviving in the Underground, helped him feel more masculine too, and made his body look more masculine.

In his whole time in the Underground, only five people ever truly knew about his wrong body- his mother, Isabel, Farlan, Kenny Ackerman, and another man who he’d blocked from his mind, even if he still crept into his nightmares, morphed into the shadows by his bed in the dark.

His mother and him had never spoken about it, and he almost wished they had- but she’d called him ‘him’, and when he told her his name was Levi, she said it suited him well, and that was that. Isabel and Farlan had been surprised at first, but appreciated their trust in them and knew what to say when it was a particularly bad day in that area. Kenny Ackerman had found out despite his best efforts to hide it- Levi was sure he knew since the beginning anyway, but enjoyed seeing Levi dance to hide it- and while he’d occasionally tease or mock him about it, he at least acknowledged him as a guy and tended not to say anything about it. Hell, even if Kenny was a monster in almost every way, it was the fact he was defensive when anyone tried to call Levi anything other than his name or ‘him’ that made him a monster in _almost_ every way. Not that he’d forgive him for everything else he had done.

The fifth man found out through rumours and then force, and that was all Levi needed to think about.

Now, though, he was out of that dreaded place, and only two other people knew. He already trusted them with his life, and should his body’s difference with his mind prove a problem in any situation somehow, he supposed some smart and trustworthy people might need to know. He told Hange first. Even if she was a crazy idiot, and she’d been uncomfortably curious in it, she zipped her lips and was there for him when he needed the help.

Then was telling Erwin, which was more nerve-wracking than he’d expected, and he wasn’t sure why _(he was, deep down, but that wasn’t important.)_

Erwin hadn’t seen it as any sort of problem, thankfully for him, and he’d proven to actually have amazing advice and be good at comforting him without getting on his short or defensive temper. Of course, what else would he expect from Erwin, though.

Nobody else knew, and he intended to keep it that way. Being older both helped and hindered him- he knew how to handle it, and even Hange had been doing research into hormones since he’d told her and while it had been a hit or miss, she had a few breakthroughs here and there, but none had been stable enough to be permanent- enough to make his voice deep (he was thankful it had always been pretty deep naturally) and enough to give him more masculine features where they’d previously been more feminine. So, while it was easier in some ways as an adult, it wasn’t when he also grew as an adult in places he’d rather not. Once again, though, Hange proved to be a saint- she scolded him for his dangerous binding methods and taught him a safer way to do so.

God, he owned Hange a lot.

So yes- while none of the people who knew about his secret, including himself, knew what it technically was, or why that had happened to him, it was relatively fine. He could trust a few people if he ever needed help surrounding that, he had someone who looked into ways of helping him get the physical body he should have, and there was no risk of it being used against him again.

As of late, he’d been coping with it worse again. There were days it weighed down on him more, made him feel hopeless and detest the misfortune he had to be born like this. He’d slept in the binder Hange had made for him because he couldn’t bring himself to take it off, even if he knew he’d regret it quickly and even more so if Hange or Erwin found out and went on a lecture about his health. Even so, he didn’t care, and he ignored the way his ribs ached and how he couldn’t take a sharp, deep inhale.

They’d been planning their next venture out of the walls and the day was slowly approaching- every day was busier than the last, preparing the horses, preparing the carts, their routes, their teams and signals. There was the usual energy of excitement and nerves that always accompanied each mission throughout the corps, people fiddling and whispering more, dedicating more time to training, loitering around their horse as if to check they were still fit to be ridden out. If he hadn’t been so used to this, the anxiety would have gotten to Levi, too, but he’d long since resigned himself to just accept and face whatever happened outside of the walls when it happened, and to trust their safety measures and trust between his men and women. There was no point in worrying about it. Whatever happened would happen, and he couldn’t deal with something that wasn’t even happening yet.

At this time, most people were still asleep, and those who weren’t were the ones who took night shifts to guards the corps- it was common knowledge that the corps weren’t everyones favourite, be it the publics or the kings’. There was quiet chatter in the large common room, the night shift doctors and nurses playing a game of cards over cups of coffee and at ease with one another, but he knew they were more than ready to leap to their feet to help in any emergency.

Once of the doctors made eye contact with him when he lingered passed the door, and gave an obedient nod and smile to him. He returned it with the smallest nod and a quirk of his lips, before he carried on his way outside.

While Levi maintained the attitude that he was cold and uncaring, that he was strictly professional with his soldiers, it was, for the most part, completely untrue. He wasn’t keen to become best friends with many of them- he wasn’t keen to become friends with anyone, but the occasional person snuck under his skin despite his best tries _(Isabel and Farlan had been the first, and that had ended well for them, hadn’t it. And the fifth person who knew his secret had gotten close enough to lower his guard around him, and that hadn’t ended well either. It was only a matter of time before something horrible happened to Hange or Erwin and it would be his fault undoubtedly- No.)_ but just because of that, it didn’t mean he did not care for them.

He would always care for them. He would always feel a wave of responsibility and love for the people he fought besides when he saw them like this- at three in the morning with their friends, happy. He would slay whatever slew them, and he’d hold their bloody hands and tell them to relax now, that they’ve done so so good. He would always have their emblems in his drawers with their names on the back, and he wouldn’t let their memory die if it was the only thing he could give them now.

Outside the air was cold, sending a chill through his bones and nipping his exposed skin, and it helped wake him up, sharpen his senses as he blinked rapidly, letting out a breath. He crossed the dark expanse of grass crunching under his boot and towards the stables, where most horses stood with their heads hung, resting, only to blink and flick their ears in his direction when he came close.

Sticking her head out of one of the stalls was Fenrir, Levi’s moody mare, who greeted him with a quiet nicker and leaned towards him when he came close.

Fenrir was a tricky horse who matched Levi perfectly- and Fenrir tended to only obey Levi. The last person who had tried to work with Fenrir before Levi had only reported the amount of bruises they received after being thrown off or kicked countless times, and even bitten a few times. Even other scouts were afraid of getting close to Fenrir again after being on the receiving end of her hoof.

Even Levi had dealt with the stubborn horse when they first got her. When no one else wanted to have her- few could even get close enough to mount her, and they never stayed on for long- it was Levi’s turn to try and tame the beast. When the horse first threw off Levi, the scouts watching snickered behind their palms, but the captain being thrown about by a horse became less funny and more awe-striking when some would stay up, watching Levi sit outside her stable for hours at night to simply get her used to his presence, and then continuously pick himself off the ground, calm her down, and get back on, even if by the end of a week he was covered in bruises and the circles under his eyes were darker. In the end, Fenrir stopped bucking and charging at him, stopped kicking out or tearing his clothes, and since then Fenrir seemed to almost have grown respect for Levi, as well as the scouts who’d watched the captain refuse to give up on the horse.

Levi’s hand ran through her mane, his other hand resting on her muzzle as she jerked her head into his hand, demanding his affection.

“You wouldn’t think you’re so desperate for attention and affection when you, quite literally, kick everyone away,” Levi muttered to his horse, leaning down to grab one of the brushes to begin brushing through her mane, and then her tail, before switching brushes when suitable and brushing over her entire body, talking quietly to her as he went.

She was a good animal, Fenrir, and he’d be sad to see the day one of them parted. Hopefully, he thought, without any titans to blame. Fenrir didn’t deserve that.

He spent a while there, with Fenrir. Brushing over her body and checking her hoofs and shoes and teeth and treating her to a sugar cube from the little tub they had. When he did eventually leave and head back inside, people were beginning to get up- granted, it was only half five, and all the younger scouts would still be sleeping until seven at least.

The doctors and nurses he had seen previously were now sitting in the large dining hall with the first servings of breakfast, and Levi’s stomach quietly grumbled in agreement at the sight and smell of freshly cooked food. With a tight frown, Levi took a deep breath- and winced. One hand ran over his side, over his tender ribs, and he sighed. He knew he’d regret wearing the binder for longer than he should, but, again, he couldn’t bring himself to care.

Still, he wandered towards the back where there was a window from the kitchen to the dining hall and the smell of food, eggs, and bacon was the strongest. The cooks, Athelia and Connell, were there and greeted him cheerfully, passing over a warm plate of food.

“Coffee or tea, sir?” Athelia asked, flicking a dark curl over her shoulder and leaning on a counter on the table, one hand holding an empty mug.

Levi accepted the plate, enjoying the warmth that seeped into his hands from it, before looking up through his eyelashes. “Tea,” he said with a nod, “and wash that mug again first,” he requested, but kept his tone softer, his tongue clicking and eyes flicking to the side.

Athelia simply smiled at him and nodded, heading towards the sink. “No problem, sir,” she hummed, and Connell silently reached for a tea infuser while she cleaned the mug. He waited in comfortable silence until she handed the (now clean-er) mug of tea over to him, and he nodded his thanks before slowly making his way to a chair and sitting down.

He had only just began picking at his food, moving it around the plate and cutting it up into smaller pieces and mainly just nibbling on a piece of toast, when another plate and mug of strong-smelling coffee set down on the table next to him, and Erwin sat down with a small thud next to him.

“Sleep well?” Erwin asked him, and Levi’s eyes flickered briefly to the blonde. He tipped his head to the side.

“I didn’t sleep horribly,” he chose to respond with, swallowing down a tiny piece of toast. Erwin shrugged, offering a small smile.

“Better than no sleep at all,” he said, before reaching for his coffee, and Levi’s lips quirked upwards briefly.

“I suppose so,” he murmured, and set the toast down on his plate, opting for his tea.

“What work am I doing today, then?” Levi asked, lips gracing the rim of the mug, and Erwin raised his eyebrows in acknowledgement, swallowing his coffee and lowering the mug.

“Well, now we’re mostly just waiting to leave at this rate. It’s just a case of preparing everybody and sorting any paperwork within the corps before we leave,” Erwin said, “and I’d like to think I can trust you to fill your day usefully. There’s more training going on today, if you’re in the mood to see how everyone’s doing with their combat, or even to join in. Hange’s probably more than willing to find some experiment to put you through,” Erwin shrugged, and Levi snorted.

“She has files of experiments we could participate in for her,” he muttered sarcastically, shaking his head minutely and stretching his legs out under the table.

“At least she’s on our side,” Erwin joked around a mouthful of bacon, and Levi smirked slightly.

“Thank God.” He let his eyes slip closed for a few moments, feeling the little toast he’d eaten and the warm tea settle in his stomach, and he ripped off another section of toast to nibble slowly on. “I’m sure I’ll find something more interesting than your paperwork,” he added, and Erwin scoffed.

“Someone has to do it,” he stated, and Levi shrugged.

“Thankfully, you,” Levi stated sarcastically. With a sigh, he pushed his plate away from him, opting to nurse his tea between his hands instead, tipping his head down.

“I wouldn’t trust anyone else to fill the reports out. You would have been an exception, if your language wasn’t blasphemous in a formal report,” Erwin snorted, and Levi rolled his eyes.

“I just keep it very real, Erwin,” he stated, pursing his lips. After they’d gotten a complaint due to Levi’s reports Erwin had started proof-reading everything. His reports always ended up in a mess of Erwin’s red ink scratching out Levi’s curses or ‘immature’ wording before it got sent off and got them in trouble.

“You don’t need to include the word ‘fuck’ every other word, Levi,” Erwin said, raising his eyebrows.

Levi _tsk_ -ed, shaking his head in disappointment. “Only the uneducated wouldn’t,” he said, and with a final sip of his tea, he rose swiftly to his feet, picking up his plate and turning away.

“Are you not going to eat?” Erwin asked, cocking his head to the side slightly. Levi scoffed quietly under his breath, lips flicking down briefly as he glanced away, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

“Later,” he simply said with a shrug, and he continued on to set the dishes on a table by the side to be cleaned later, before weaving between tables that had slowly been filling with more people.

He ignored Erwin’s gaze that followed him as he made his way out of the dining hall, face impassive and hands by his side.

He still had time to kill before everyone was awake and the corps was busy once more and he could occupy himself with the new corps, watching them spar and giving secret tips to Arlert when he got frustrated at not being the strongest (he needed to learn that he should stop forcing himself to be stronger, but start working more strategically to make up for it instead. It always worked much better for him than the brute force he tried to force himself to have, anyway.)

(And plus, seeing Arlert’s face light up when he took Levi’s advice- tried a strategic move, a new hold or pin or flip or to trick Yeager, and Yeager’s face in response, was worth it.)

He began making his way to his office, intending to spend some of his free time by cleaning or organising it should his office need it, when a hand darted to his side, resting on his upper arm.

Immediately, he whipped around, one hand gripping the one on his arm in an inescapable grip around its wrist, his other arm wrenching away and moving to press against the persons windpipe but he stopped just in time when he processed Hange’s sheepish expression.

“Fucksake, shitty glasses. How many times have I told you not to do that?” He snapped, taking a moment before releasing her hand and stepping back. He forced himself to take a deep breath despite the protest in his ribs.

Hange just continued her apologetic grin. “Sorry, Levi,” she said, ducking her gaze, “but you were walking pretty fast and what kind of person would I be if I didn’t give my captain a good morning greeting?” She asked rhetorically. Levi responded with a scoff, folding his arms across his chest.

“A better one,” he snorted, “now, what do you want then?” He asked, raising his eyebrows expectantly.

Hange’s mouth dropped open, one hand falling onto her chest. “Why must you assume I want something, captain?” She gasped, but a sly smile made its way onto her lips and she reached out once more, albeit more slowly, and took his wrist when he didn’t make a move to protest against her touch. She guided him towards the door she’d lunged out from to surprise him- into her lab- and shut the heavy door behind them.

Dropping his wrist, she locked the door and scurried over to one of the dark tables covered in clutter. There were petri dishes collected on the table, and undoubtedly countless more in the cooler in the corner, and Hange ran past the microscopes to reach a large, leather bound journal splayed open. She scooped it up and scurried back to where Levi stood, one hand on a table, eyes wandering around the room.

There were pin boards covering the walls, all of them full of paper that linked together by red string. There were detailed sketches of titans and their biology, and boards dedicated to Yeager Titan, the Armoured Titan, and the Colossal Titan, research into their biology and physiology specifically (though the armoured and colossal titans had significantly less  information about them, for obvious reasons.)

Hange may be crazy, but she was a damn genius, and not even Levi would deny that.

“Concerning the next outing,” Hange said, dropping the heavy book onto the table with a loud thud. Levi moved his hand away before the book could crush it. “And the whole, uh, real mission thing behind it-“ Levi cocked an eyebrow at her “oh, what’s that for- of course I’ve been told what we’re actually doing, Levi. Erwin actually trusts me-“ Levi scoffed. “Alright, captain, my captain, I annoyed him enough that he told me. Did you really think I’d accept the shitty excuse of team building?”

“Anyway, this is also a major opportunity to get in some titan research- including Eren, as well as some more, y’know, exploration, history,” she said, a slow grin growing on her lips.

Levi tilted his head slightly, letting out a sigh and crossing his arms over his chest, lips twitching.

“If you’re trying to alter the mission, then you should be talking to Erwin, not me,” he stated, but Hange was quick to shake her head and hand, humming in protest.

“No, no- I’m not done!” She pushed, “I’m just saying- think about it! We’ve all been talking more about- well, you know- and who knows what’ll happen with that. We might not have a chance for a while- or at all- to get some research like this again!” Hange said.

Levi’s eyes flicked to the floor, the stain on the floor by his feet, and then back up.

“You’re trusting a lot on there to be an opportunity while we’re out there, Hange,” he stated, pushing himself off the table he’d been leaning against, “and that, most likely, won’t happen,” he said, and watched her deflate for a moment before continuing, “but, you know that I’m as interested in this shit as you are. So, we’ll see what happens. Unless it’ll get us killed, I’ll vouch for you,” he shrugged, and dropped his hands to his side.

“Now, are we done here? Because you really made this seem much more important than it actually was,” he muttered, taking a few steps towards the door.

“Nope!” Hange grinned, immediately perking up once more and putting a hand on his shoulder to stop him from walking away.  “I’ve been doing more research just for you, félagi,” she grinned. Levi’s eyes narrowed slightly, but he ducked his head in a subtle nod for her to continue.

Hange turned her attention to the book she’d brought over, pointing at the page she had it open on. “Nothing physical is done yet, but it hopefully will be by tomorrow!” She exclaimed, her eyes flicking over to the equipment around the room.

Levi’s eyebrows raised and he walked back to the table, leaning forwards. The book was a mess of notes and perfectly portrayed Hange’s thought process, but he couldn’t help the way his heart beat picked up slightly as he read. His eyes flicked between the book and Hange, who grinned proudly at him.

“Of course there’s the possibility  that it won’t work, or it’ll have consequences or something, but I trust my intellect enough to not do that to you,” Hange grinned, and Levi took a moment to compose himself. Still, his lips twitched upwards and his eyes betrayed him as he said “I don’t care. I’ll try it when it’s ready.”

Hange clapped her hands together, bouncing on her feet. “Great! I’ve tried to fix all the faults that happened the last time, so hopefully there won’t be any of those problems from last time,” she said with a sheepish grin, before reaching out to poke his side.

“But is there any other things I should know?” Hange asked with a raised brow, and Levi pursed his lips, looking away.

“Like what?” He asked with a scoff.

“Don’t play dumb, Levi, unless you want me to start calling you that,” Hange said, poking her tongue out.

Levi rolled his eyes with a sigh. “Nothing new, nothing old,” he shrugged.

“You know, Erwin wants me to start doing little health check-ups on you,” Hange told him, and Levi snorted.

“Of course he does,” he said, shaking his head.

“He has a point. Especially concerning your careless habits. Keep it up and Erwin thinks you’re gonna ruin your ribs or something,” she mused.

“I can still breathe, thank you very much. And until you find a permanent solution to that problem, I’m still binding,” he stated dismissively, waving a hand. With that, he turned around and began walking towards the door.

“Of course, Captain Levi Sir!” Hange barked, and Levi could hear her foot make a small thud on the ground as she stamped it down. When he risked a quick glance back at her over his shoulder, he saw her standing to attention, saluting with a cheesy grin.

“Shut up, four eyes,” he snorted, rolling his eyes and turning back to the door. Hange snickered behind him, and as he unlocked the heavy doors and stepped out, he could hear her already scurrying about her lab once more.

Levi lingered in the hallway, lips parted slightly and hands resting loosely by his sides. One hand travelled up, coming to a rest on his chest where he could feel his heart beating against his ribcage, and his fingers flexed over his chest. God, he owed Hange.

He wasn’t sure how long he spent, standing in that hallway and staring at the wall in deep thought, but he snapped out of it and composed himself at the sounds of sudden chatter and footsteps coming his way. Mentally, he cursed himself for letting his guard down like that.

He pushed himself off the wall he’d been leaning against, ran a hand through his hair, and then began taking a few steps down the hallway. Rounding the corner came the source of the sudden chatter, and they paused at the sight of Levi.

“Good morning Captain Levi, sir!” Armin stammered hesitantly, dropping their previous conversation. Eren and Mikasa, too, both stood up straighter to greet him. Levi raised an eyebrow slightly.

“Have you had breakfast?” He asked, gaze flitting over each person. Mikasa tipped her head in a nod, and Eren spoke up, one hand resting over his stomach.

“Just came from it!” He confirmed, a small grin growing on his face.

“Good.” Levi nodded, shifted on the spot and glanced away briefly. “Spar practice today. Tell everyone else to be outside in ten minutes,” he told them, watching as Eren and Armins eyes widened slightly, before they nodded obediently.

“Yes sir!” Eren nodded, and just as quickly as they’d approached, they turned around again, heading down the corridor and towards the mess hall swiftly. Mikasa lingered for a moment, gaze on Levi, before she followed the boys more calmly. Levi’s lips twitched into a brief smirk, before he began to make his way leisurely outside, hands stuffed into his pockets.

Outside was lively- people running around the stables, a few horses being led about (he didn’t miss how one person ducked out of Fenrir’s reach as she stuck her head out towards them, teeth bared and barely missing grabbing their jacket.) Some people were already sparring, and people from the 104th were slowly gathering in a group, chatting amongst themselves.

Levi waited until he could see the entire group was gathered and waiting before he walked over. The chatter stopped when he reached the cadets, their attention turning to him as they stood straight.

“I’m assuming you’ve been told what’s happening,” he started. His eyes trailed over each person, his hands clasped behind his back. “So,” he raised his eyebrows, tipping his head forewords slightly, “pair up and get started.”

Immediately, they did so, pairing up with their friends and finding an open space. People hesitated for a moment, talking to each other about how they would go about the sparring, before starting.

Levi wandered between them, watching them spar with an occasional sigh or shake of his head. They tried, at least, but he was just happy that titans didn’t use close combat. They’d really be screwed if that were the case.

Levi came to a stop by the side of where Mikasa, Eren, and Armin stood. Eren was standing to the side, holding his wrist gingerly while he pushed a nervous looking Armin to stand in front of Mikasa. Curious, Levi stayed to watch the two.

It went about as well as everyone expected. It ended quickly with Armin pinned under Mikasa, who remained her impassive expression, holding Armin down for a moment longer before letting him go and offering him a hand when she stood.

Before Mikasa could swap out with Eren, Levi stepped in. “Ackerman, Arlert- again,” he said, much to Armin’s obvious displeasure.

“Sir- do we- I have to?” Armin asked hesitantly, one hand rubbing his wrist gently.

“Yup,” Levi responded with a shrug. With a small huff, Armin nodded, taking his place once more opposite from Mikasa.

As they started, Levi’s eyes narrowed, scrutinizing each move. Everyone knew Mikasa was an excellent fighter- he had yet to see any one take her down unless she let them- and everyone knew that Armin was incredibly smart. Levi pursed his lips as he watched Armin swing for Mikasa, and for her to duck and grab his wrist, her other hand pulling around to go for the point by Armin’s ear.

Instead, Levi intercepted it, grabbing her fist before she could get the point. Signalling with his other hand, she dropped Armin’s and stepped back.

Levi took a step to Armin, clapping his hand down on his shoulder and leaning to his ear.

“I can see you getting worked up, Arlert. Stop. You might not have the strength Ackerman possesses, but you make up for it with brains. Stop and think,” he said in a quiet, low voice, before he stepped back.

Armin watched Levi for a moment, slack-jawed, before tightly closing it, tight lipped, and nodded, a determined glint appearing in his eyes.

He turned back to Mikasa, and at Levi’s nod, they both restart. Armin seems to have forgotten Levi’s words, but after a moment, he can see Armin thinking- anticipating and predicting Mikasa’s moves, and moving accordingly.

Levi felt the corners of his lips twitch upwards ever so slightly at the improvements he could already see just by playing to his strengths, rather than his weaknesses.

Even if, in the end, Mikasa still ended the match by pinning Armin, it had lasted significantly longer than the previous match.

“Good job, Arlert,” Levi praised, and Armin lit up at the simple praise, mouth silently moving for a moment.

“Th-thank you, captain!” He responded, bowing his head.

Levi turned his gaze to Eren, raising an eyebrow and gesturing to step forwards. Eren hesitated, but stepped forwards and in front Armin after another gesture from Levi.

Once again, Levi watched this match silently. It was interesting to watch this one- Armin acting more strategically now, but against Eren’s unpredictable and wild actions. It was a good match nonetheless, though Levi mentally noted to himself to spar with Eren himself and teach the kid a thing or two about controlled movements.

As the boys heaved themselves to their feet, dusting off themselves, Levi walked to Mikasa. “You’re an exceptional fighter, Ackerman,” Levi stated, rolling his sleeves up. He cocked his head to the side as he watched Mikasa reign in her shocked expression. “Come on then,” he said with a small smirk, readying himself into a fighting stance, followed by Mikasa after she composed herself and nodded.

Mikasa was fast and precise, calculated and well-rounded. Levi couldn’t remember the last time a cadet had shown so much skill- if any had. She was extremely promising, and Levi sincerely hoped that he’d have time to perfect her skills with her.

As they sparred, people began to gather around. It wasn’t often the cadets, or anyone, got to see a lot of the higher-ups sparring, and when they did it was usually short lived- Erwin pinning a new cadet down within a minute, Levi flipping someone within seconds. So, to be able to watch a match with higher-ups that lasted more than forty-seven seconds was extremely entertaining to everyone.

Levi could feel when he began to breathe heavier- his lungs expanding with no room to do so, and unable to get the air they required into them. He supposed that this was the karma for sleeping in the binder overnight, but he’d sparred- fought for his life- in worse conditions. Albeit, none of them with a restrictive band around his ribs.

 He narrowly missed a punch from Mikasa, ducking a moment before it would have come in contact with him, and saw the way her eyes narrowed at his slow reaction, the way his breath shuddered unevenly and sharply.

“Close one, Mikasa!” Someone in the crowd that had formed to watch them yelled, and there were sharp intakes of breaths and encouraging cheers and claps.

Each strafe, duck, and attack wore on Levi’s ribs, and it almost felt like his ribs were getting tighter, constricting his lungs more, and he had to force the logical side of himself to outweigh the growing panic at the idea that he couldn’t breathe, that the gasps he took for breath would grow into hyperventilation if he didn’t calm it down. 

His cheeks flushed slightly, and he feinted to the right, pulling his left fist through with it. Mikasa startled slightly in the way her eyes widened, but she ducked under his fist, using Levi’s own momentum to throw him off balance. He had expected it, though, and used it to his advantage.

He spun and grabbed Mikasa’s wrist, deciding that the match had gone on for too long, and he pulled her with him, and in a moment they found themselves on the ground, Levi pinning Mikasa’s legs down and successfully pinning one of her arms down under her back, and Mikasa with one hand grasping the collar of Levi’s shirt, ready to attempt to flip their position. Then, she let her hand fall and relaxed, and Levi did so too.

He heaved himself to his feet, and offered a hand to Mikasa, which she took with a breathy “thank you”. He dusted himself off, looked at the ground as his lungs burned and the ground warped for a moment, his brain protesting against the lack of oxygen.

When he snapped back to, Mikasa was politely offering a hand, her own chest rising and falling heavily as she caught her breath. She looked slightly concerned until Levi composed himself and shook her hand, lips twitching upwards. “Good match, Ackerman,” he said.

“Not too bad yourself, captain,” Mikasa said, a mischievous glint to her eyes. The people around tensed.

Levi snorted, tipping his head back. “I’d like to think so,” he replied, offering her an amused smirk. He turned to look at everyone else, rolling his eyes at the dumbfounded looks on their faces.

“Well? Get back to sparring, brats,” he said, and everyone immediately jumped, returning to their positions with their partners. Turning back to Mikasa, he nodded approvingly. “Keep up the good work, Ackerman,” he said.

Mikasa bowed her head in a nod, and Levi gestured dismissively. “Go again- and Arlert, remember- think,” he said, fixing the blonde with a stern gaze until he nodded and promised to do just that. Then he turned, and walked slowly between the sparring cadets. As he relaxed further, he slowly regained his breath, though his ribs still ached fiercely. Levi wished he could just tear off his shirt and binder, reveal a perfectly flat chest, and not care about it. But he couldn’t, and that alone made him ball his hands into fists, short nails digging into the palms of his hands.

He’d talk to Hange. Promise to single-handedly capture however many fucking titans she wanted if she came up with the surgery that could give him what he needed as soon as possible.

Levi blinked slowly, looking up as footsteps approached him, and straightened his posture.

“How are they?” Erwin asked, narrowed eyes flitting around the sparring cadets.

“Getting better. Yeager still has a horrendously short temper and doesn’t predict anything. I’ve told Arlert to play to his strengths, and he’s improved significantly already. Ackerman is still exceptional, her skills just need to be broadened and refined,” Levi informed, eyes briefly going back to the interesting trio.

“Everyone also seems to be improving steadily. Leonhart seems promising,” he said, though his voice dropped at the last sentence. He sought out the blonde girl, who was working with Braun and Hoover.

Erwin nodded in acknowledgement, pursing his lips while one hand scratched along his jaw. “Good,” he uttered, before turning to Levi again. His gaze studied up and down the short man, as if he were searching for something, and Levi frowned, shifting on the spot and narrowing his eyes.

“My eyes are up here, Erwin,” he said defensively, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I’m aware,” Erwin retorted sarcastically, “how is everything going, Levi? I can hear you breathing,” he stated.

Levi’s eyes flicked to the side, his lips pursing. “Mikasa is a good fighter. I guess I’m still catching my breath,” he responded with disinterest.

Erwin raced an eyebrow sceptically. Then, he nudged his side with his elbow, and when Levi’s expression tightened and he stepped aside, Erwin sighed

“How long have you been wearing it?” He asked in hardly above a whisper.

“As long as I need to,” Levi replied icily, his fingers tightening on his arms. He knew Erwin tried to support him, tried to understand him, and did all he could to help him, but he knew Erwin wouldn’t be able to understand why he did something that was dangerous and painful to himself, willingly.

Erwin sighed, but he held himself back from saying whatever he was about to, and he nodded.

“Go rest, Levi. Take it off and sleep, I’ll have your lunch brought to you. I’ve had to push the date earlier, and we’re leaving early tomorrow,” Erwin said, turning to face him more.

Levi’s eyebrows raised. “I should be helping preparations, then,” he stated firmly, though when Erwin rested a hand on his shoulder, he didn’t push it off.

“You can do that after dinner if you must, but I can’t let you do that now if you’re going to strain yourself. And if it becomes a risk, I won’t be able to bring you tomorrow. Don’t make me make that an order, Levi,” he said, but he kept his voice soft in the way that made Levi want to hit him because he could hardly resist that tone.

“Fine. But I’ll still be helping with preparations later,” Levi stated firmly, and Erwin smiled.

“Of course.”

With a final glance at Erwin, Levi tipped his head slightly and turned on heel, heading back to the large building where his room was. 

 


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picks up right at the end of the last chapter! It was originally one chapter, but I've split it into two, so yeah- immediately after where we left off.

On his way to his room, Levi stopped by Hange’s lab once more, knocking on the door a few times, and after a few moments there were hurried footsteps heading to the door, a thud, and then, eventually, the heavy slide of the locks being pulled back, and then the large doors cracked open.

“Back so soon! Did you miss me, Levi-Heichou?” Hange purred, a sly smile on her lips. Levi snorted, rolling his eyes.

“Can I come in?” He asked, though it wasn’t much of a question as he took a step forwards and forced Hange to open the door enough to let him in.

“What’s going on? I thought you’d still be embarrassing Eren in sparring,” she grinned.

“Erwin says I’ve to rest,” Levi muttered, folding his arms across his chest.

“So you’re hiding out with me?” Hange raised an eyebrow. “I’m so touched you’d risk your title as captain to see me,” she gasped, resting a hand on his arm and ‘swooning’ until she went a bit too far back. Levi almost wished he’d let her fall, simply because it would have been more fun, but instead he grabbed her wrist and pulled her back right onto her feet.

“Careful, shitty glasses. And no- I came to tell you to research, work more, whatever, on the surgery,” Levi said, anxiously flitting his gaze to the side. “Please,” he added, quietly.

Hange rested a hand on his shoulder after a moment, and when he looked back, she had a large grin stretching her lips.

“Of course, Levi! I’ve done more research since last time we spoke about it anyway, so you can trust me with that!” She exclaimed enthusiastically, beaming at him. Levi felt the tips of his lips twitch upwards slightly.

“Tch, good, four eyes,” Levi said, but Hange spotted the smallest of smile on his lips and her own grin widened.

“Now, go! Rest, like Erwin said to, I’ve got this,” she said, and he was being ushered towards the door.

“You’re supposed to encourage me to rebel against Erwin’s care,” said Levi when he was finally pushed back into the hallway.

“Goodnight!” Came Hange’s enthusiastic reply, followed by the door slamming shut and locking in his face.

He smirked slightly, and continued to his room.

He tried to sleep, really, he did- stripping down (sighing in immense relief when he struggled out of his binder,  though he spent a few minutes tentatively poking his ribs, feeling the bruising along them, slowly becoming discoloured,) and closing his curtains to block out all of the light (and any prying eyes, but he ignored that thought.)

He tried to fall asleep, but he just couldn’t. His body wouldn’t relax, and he felt like he was lying to himself when he forced his muscles to relax, his eyes to close, and mind to slow down. He could pretend he was asleep as long as he wanted, but he knew he wouldn’t actually fall asleep. This time could be spent preparing, checking through his gear, actually working.

When a knock came from his door, Levi groaned mentally, sitting up in his bed and looking to the door. “Yes, who is it?” He called, clearing his throat.

“Mikasa Ackerman, sir. Erwin sent me with your lunch,” came the reply, slightly muffled and quiet through the door.

Levi slid back down on his bed, turning onto his stomach and resting his head on the pillow. He let his eyes close, before reaching to the side to grab one curtain, yanking it open just enough to let in a tiny bit of light.

“Come in, Ackerman,” he called, resting his arm back onto the bed.

The door slowly creaked open and Mikasa hesitantly stepped inside. She blinked a few times to get used to the dim lighting, and closed the door behind her. She looked momentarily shock at seeing Levi in this state, but she hid it well.

“Where would you like me to set it, sir?” She asked, glancing around the room.

“Just on the end of the bed, Ackerman,” he responded dismissively. If it had been anyone else, he probably would have told them to leave it outside, or left them waiting as he got dressed to take it from them, but he liked to think he could give Mikasa the benefit of the doubt. And plus, the longer he stayed still in bed and rested, the more it hurt to sit up or move with his ribs.

Ackerman nodded, placing the tray where he had told her to. He could smell the soup from where it sat, could feel the warmth seeping into the bed around that spot.

“Do you need anything else, sir?” Mikasa spoke up again, and Levi turned his gaze from the soup and to the girl. Her clothes were slightly dusty, slightly askew, and Levi was glad to see the signs of her sparring.

“No. That’s fine,” he said, and his eyes flicked to the door in a subtle urge for her to leave.

“I hope those bruises aren’t from our sparring, sir,” she added after a few moments of silence, having taken a step further from him.

Levi let out a quiet _tch,_ glancing away briefly. “No, Ackerman. You’re not that good, yet,” he said, and he watched as Mikasa watched him for a moment, eyes moving from the discoloured skin on his sides, to his face. Her lips twitched upwards slightly.

“Of course, sir,” she responded with a small smirk of her own. “Erwin says to rest well, sir. If you leave the tray outside the door, I’ll be back to take it for cleaning,” she informed, and then she left, closing the door behind her once more.

Levi wanted to roll his eyes at Erwin’s message, because of course he would. Still, slowly, he sat up and reached for the tray of food, setting it across his lap.

The day passed slowly until dinner came along. He left the tray of food outside of the door for Mikasa to collect, and he stayed in his room until five minutes to six, when they served dinner. He spent the time by doing whatever paperwork he still had in his room to finish, and he went over his room and adjoined bathroom, cleaning whatever he deemed necessary of it. He couldn’t stand being cooped up in his room for this long, and by the time he could leave without the fear of running into Erwin (not that he was scared of running into Erwin- it’s not like he’d ordered him to do anything , but he just couldn’t be bothered dealing with that.)

He left his room eagerly, his hands clasped behind his back, and when he arrived in the mess hall eyes turned briefly to him. He gathered his tray of food from the far end of the hall, and then sought out the table that had been claimed by Erwin.

He sat down across from him in silence, glancing briefly at him before turning his attention to his tray. He wasn’t particularly hungry anyhow, but he cut up pieces of it, organised the food absentmindedly, and occasionally ate parts of it, until Erwin spoke up.

“Did you rest?” He asked, and Levi wanted to scoff at the tone in his voice.

“Somewhat,” he chose to respond with, enjoying the way Erwin tried to decipher that, and then resigned himself with a sigh, stabbing a slice of carrot on his fork.

“You can help with packing the carts after dinner, if you’re still determined to work.”

“I am,” Levi uttered in response, reaching aside for his steaming tea.

As they ate, Erwin spoke quietly about what preparations were happening, confirming what Levi and everyone else already knew.

“I’ll admit, Erwin, I’m impressed you’ve eaten every meal here instead of bent over paperwork,” Levi mused, his lips ghosting over the rim of his tea.

“Well, sometimes I like to sit with my corps.”

“It’s just you and I at this table, Erwin.”

“And three feet away there’s Braus and Springer,” Erwin said, and Levi rolled his eyes sarcastically, and when the two mentioned looked over to them, he gave them a short glare until they quickly looked away.

“I haven’t even heard you speak to them.”

“That’s because you don’t speak with your mouthful, Levi.”

Levi scoffed at Erwin’s teasing joke, leaning back slightly in the seat and taking a long sip of his steaming tea, feeling it warm its way down his throat.

“I’ll be at the carts,” he said dismissively, standing up and gathering his tray. He ignored the small smirk on Erwin’s face as he walked away to put his tray away.

Outside was hectic- people running around, preparing horses, carts, packs, etcetera, in a hurry to have everything in check for tomorrow. He began walking towards where the carts were, intent on fixing the horrendous display of organisation he could already see from here, when a commotion to his left caught his attention.

 _Of course it’s those brats,_ he thought to himself, a long sigh leaving his lips as he changed his route to the stables.

Eren and Armin were there, obviously helping out prepping the horses, and they’d just gotten to Fenrir- his stable door was open and he was out, and everyone other than the two boys had used their common sense to back away.

Fenrir was standing a few strides away from them, tail swishing violently, and braced to charge. Armin himself was sitting on the floor, grimacing slightly, but Levi assumed he’d simply been pushed over when Fenrir got out of her stable.

“Eren, move back, idiot, you can’t calm her!” Jean yelled at him, standing off to the side with a bag of horse brushes clutched tightly in one hand.

“Trust me! I just need to calm her, Jean, you’re just jealous,” Eren responded cockily, and Jean replied with a scoff, throwing his hands up in defeat.

Levi had half a mind to leave the brat and Arlert to deal with it, but begrudgingly pushed that idea away, storming over.

Eren tried to take another step forwards, hands raised and staring straight at the horse, murmuring soft ‘shh’s’.

It had the opposite of the desired effect on Fenrir- angering her more rather than calming- she let out a distressed whiney, shaking her head, and pawed the earth beneath her hoof, kicking up dirt and grassed.

Levi quickened his pace, his murderous glare clearing a pathway for him.

He opened his mouth to yell at Yeager when she reared, kicking her legs out in front of her, and began to charge forwards while the people around began to yell.

With a curse, Levi took off, managing to tackle a startled Eren to the side before Fenrir could reach him, and turned to face the large mare, one arm outstretched as he barked her name sharply.

Fenrir seemed to immediately recognise Levi, and attempted to stop her charge, though her momentum kept her going for a moment and when it ended, the entire scene played out in a few seconds, people let go of the breaths they were holding.

Fenrir had stopped in time, but close enough that her head was over Levi’s shoulder and chest pressed against his shoulder. She had lifted one hoof to avoid standing on his foot, and was curling her neck around his back, while he had one hand gently resting on her neck.

The agitation, anger, and wild look in her eyes and demeanour had seemed to immediately washed away as she took comfort in Levi’s hand stroking her neck firmly.

Levi turned his head to the side, seeing stunned and awe-struck wide eyes all staring at him and the two boys on the floor, just beginning to pick themselves up. His eyes found Erens.

“Next time, listen when someone says not to go near my horse, brats,” he scolded, his voice icy and glare deadly.

He ignored their shaky response, turning to soothe Fenrir’s frayed nerves before leading her back into her stable.

“They’re going to kill themselves before a titan could come close,” he muttered to her, patting her neck with a sigh. He glanced up and down her dark coat, lips tight. “They even fucked up your coat,” he sighed, shaking his head. He reached for the brush kit he kept in her stables, knowing that it hadn’t come in contact with the other horses and the dirt on their coats.

He carefully brushed through her coat, fixing all the little tufts that stuck up randomly, until he was satisfied and fed her a sugar cube before leaving.

His mood had soured due to that little scene with Yeager, and he tried to bury himself in fixing the organisation of the carts, perhaps getting slightly too obsessive over it, but the satisfaction he felt when he was finished and the cart was fully loaded was worth it, and it felt like someone had lifted a weight from his shoulders.

As it got later, less and less people were around with preparations, more intent on spending their time with their friends, nervous yet excited as they speak about leaving, claiming to get the most titan kills out of their friends.

Levi wanted to scoff when he saw the work some people finished with- did they really think that was adequate? He was already there, and he found himself going along and fixing it, muttering about other peoples horrendous cleaning habits.

He only snapped out of it when footsteps sounded close to him and he turned around, only to be greeted with Erwin’s stoic face. “We’re going over our objective for tomorrow,” he informed, and Levi set the gas canister he had been holding down on the cart.

“I take it that’s your subtle way of telling me I also have to be there?” Levi commented, raising an eyebrow. Erwin’s lips twitched and he gave a small tip of his head as a nod. Levi gestured for Erwin to lead the way, following him inside after a glance at the work he hadn’t finished organising yet.

Hange was in Erwin’s office already, sitting with one leg crossed over the other, eying the plan in front of her, splayed out on Erwin’s desk. She grinned at Levi when he came in, who simply ignored it and took a seat next to her, Erwin rounding his desk and sitting across from them, steepling his fingers under his chin.

“Objective to follow the leads of more forbidden books and information in an old town outside of the walls and then proceed from there depending on the information found, and scout the area. See if there’s any possible leads concerning Yeager and whatever’s in his damned basement, and either follow new information or head to Shiganshina, or return back. We know,” Levi drawled, repeating all the information they’d spoken about many times before.

He crossed one leg over the other, one hand resting on the arm of his chair as he looked around the office with a bored expression.

Erwin fixed Levi with an exasperated expression that the shorter male chose to ignore, shifting in the chair and glancing to the map. It had (badly) drawn out the planned route, as well as other emergency routes, and the position of the formations and squads, with a few notes written by the bottom of the paper.

“We’ve not told anyone else about the old settlement we expect in the forest nearby, Levi,” Erwin said, and out of the corner of his eyes, Levi saw Hange light up enthusiastically.

“We’re leaving it to you and a few of your hand picked soldiers to seek it out. Hange will be following  behind you. We expect that to take, at most, overnight, and anyone up on watch will be told you’re scouting the area for any titans in the forest,” Erwin said, and Levi processed this, glanced to the window over the Commander’s shoulder, and then to him. He nodded simply.

“Sure. But I’m not taking responsibility for her,” he stated with a shrug, jabbing a thumb towards Hange, who seemed way too eager for something that may not even exist. He doubted it did.

“We just need you to search whatever may be there. There might be crucial information left behind there,” Erwin said seriously.

“If there’s even anything there,” Levi retorted, but upon meeting Erwin’s challenging gaze, he let out a slow breath and nodded.

“We’ll find anything that’s there,” he confirmed, stretching his legs out. He briefly glanced towards the door, tongue dashing across his lips. Out of all places in the Survey Corps base, he knew the Commander’s office and chambers were the most secure place- both physically, and also well enough to ensure no one eaves dropping would catch anything anyone spoke about inside. Still, with the secret news of the titan spy floating between the three of them in the office, Levi felt more on edge speaking about anything secret.

Erwin’s lips twitched upwards briefly, and he leaned back in his chair, let some tension go from his shoulders. He reached for the cup of tea on his desk. “Good. That’s all. You’ll be kept up to date if there are any changes, but I trust the both of you already have in mind the emergency situations we might have to take that I have, and that you can deal with them,” Erwin spoke, his voice lower as Hange and Levi stood up, and even Hange had a serious expression on for once.

They both nodded, shared a quick look. “Of course,” Levi said simply, and turned to leave when he was sure there was nothing else to say. He knew Hange was hanging back for a reason, and he was sure that, if they were waiting for Levi to leave, they were probably wanting to speak about him, but he left it. He trusted Erwin- even Hange, somewhat- and he wasn’t going to interfere with their gossip session.

He closed the door behind him and went to his office. He had work to do before he could rest for tomorrow.


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this parts! Plot and drama’s gonna kick up more now, so I hope you like where it goes! If you like it, please give it a kudos or a comment, it inspired me to keep writing <3

Levi woke up feeling somewhat refreshed after two hours of sleep, blinking his eyes open and letting them adjust to the darkness quickly, thanks to years of living in the underground.

Though he wouldn’t admit it, resting and taking his binder off once he came into his office had totally refreshed him, giving his lungs and ribs a rest.

He arched his back, stretched his limbs, and sat up, letting the soft bedsheet fall off his body, sliding off his hips. He slid out of bed, bare feet silent on the cold floor as he padded to his adjoining bathroom and stepped into the bathtub, reaching to turn on the shower.

With his higher rank he got his own joint bathroom, as well as a bath, and he’d never used the bath. Erwin had tried to explain to him once that some people enjoyed coming back after a long day out and relaxing in the hot water, but Levi couldn’t understand how someone could find comfort while bathing in their own filth. So, the bath in his bathroom had stayed untouched.

Levi left the bathroom with the towel tied around his waist, and towelled off his hair and his body before getting dressed. When he was done, he made his way through the large castle until he reached the lounge.

Save for the crackling of the fire, the place was silent, everyone resting to leave early for the outing, and Levi let the silence wash over him as he made his way to tea set on the table. He heated the water over the fire, took his time making himself a cup of tea, and settled down on the sofa, breathing in the herbal scent that steamed from the cup.

Why anyone would choose coffee to wake up in the morning with instead of tea was beyond him, but he knew how Erwin enjoyed the odd cup here and there, and how some other scouts defended the drink.

He focused on the drink and the dancing flames of the fire, and he’d almost drained the entire cup when he heard it- the scuffle of light footsteps, dragging slightly every couple of steps. Though Levi tensed, his muscles ready to spring if need be, he kept the cup raised to his lips, ghosting over the rim of it, and watched the open door to the lounge as the quiet footsteps got closer. He expected to just see one of the night shift doctors, perhaps, even Erwin, though it was rare for him to be awake at this hour, it wasn’t unheard of.

Though the person who came in was blonde, it certainly wasn’t Erwin (and he’d known that anyway, by the sound of the footsteps.)

Arlert stopped right in the doorway as his eyes landed on Levi sitting there, shocked and wide eyed.

“C-captain Levi, sir, I, uh, didn’t expect to see you here,” Arlert stammered, and Levi let his muscles relax.

“Don’t you scouts always speak about the rumour that I never sleep?” Levi raised his eyebrow, and he took a sip of his tea again

“And anyway, shouldn’t you be sleeping, brat? We’re leaving today,” Levi stated, and Arlert’s cheeks flushed lightly, his eyes glancing down to his feet.

“I mean, some, uh, some people say that, but… Uh, I couldn’t sleep. I came down here to read, or spend time rechecking the preparations,” Arlert said hesitantly, steering away from the rumour that they all had discussed at one point at least.

Levi looked away from the stammering blonde, watching the fire, and he gave a small nod. He set his tea down on the table, and rose to his feet.

“Well, if you’re not going to sleep, you might as well be useful,” Levi stated, striding towards the door and past Arlert, who scurried after him.

Levi led him outside, eying the carts that were waiting to leave later, the horses asleep in the stable, and then he turned to Arlert.

“We’re going to spar,” he stated, and watched the boys eyes widen comically. Before he could stammer out a protest, Levi shook his head.

“I gave you tips on how to spar with Mikasa earlier, but I’ve never actually sparred with you,” Levi mused, rolling his sleeves up to his elbows.

“Sir, I’m not sure about this,” Arlert murmured, but he had rolled his sleeves up.

“Of course you’re not,” he snorted, “but it’s this or cleaning horse shit,” Levi stated, and got into a fighting stance.

“Attack me, Arlert. None of the sparring points system rules- actually hit me,” Levi told him, and watched the blonde swallow and nod hesitantly.

Levi let Arlert initiate it, start the fight, but Levi could easily see what he was trying to do, and within seconds he had Arlert pinned to the ground. Levi let him go after a moment, standing up and letting Arlert pick himself up.

“Again. And try not to be so predictable. You’re not going to win a fight with brute strength, so stop trying that,” Levi told him. Arlert blushed, but nodded and got ready.

It got lighter as time passed, and people began waking up, and other than brief breaks to catch their breath, Levi didn’t let Arlert stop. At the least, he did see improvement as time went- Arlert got quicker at dodging Levi’s attacks, stopped falling for the obvious tricks Levi played, and got closer with his own hits.

“Again, Arlert,” Levi barked, and he offered a hand to the blonde on the floor.

He ignored the fact that the few people who were awake and outside, though the numbers were steadily growing, eyed the two of them curiously, watching them fight in awe. They were both dripping sweat, Arlert’s hair sticking back, and Levi’s hair sticking to his forehead. While Arlert posed no real challenge to him in a sparring match, he did enjoy seeing Arlert’s determination grow as they fought on.

The blonde wiped the back of his hand across his forehead, took a deep breath in, and nodded, accepting his hand up.

The crowd around them steadily grew, and Levi mentally rolled his eyes. People got so interested in seeing him spar, it was ridiculous.

Levi ducked a swing from Arlert, swinging quickly under it and spinning around. He stepped in front of Arlert, one leg between his, and pulled his arm, throwing him over his back. Arlert groaned as he hit the floor again, briefly closing his eyes before pushing himself onto his elbows.

“Close, but not close enough,” Levi tsk-ed, and offered a hand to him.

“A-Armin?”

Levi glanced to the side, scoffed when he picked out Yeager and Ackerman watching them with wide eyes.

“Don’t let people throw your distraction,” He added as he hauled the blonde to his feet. Arlert glanced around at the crowd watching them, pushed back his sweaty bangs, and nodded. “Yes, sir,” he replied breathily.

When he noticed Arlert’s reluctance, Levi raised an eyebrow.

“What’s up, brat?” He asked, eyes narrowing.

Arlert blushed slightly, chest rising and falling heavily. “S-sir, we’re leaving soon… Do we have to keep doing this?” He panted, cheeks red.

Levi narrowed his eyes, scoffed. “Have you managed to punch me, pin me, or throw me yet, brat?” He asked icily. Arlert blushed even more, looking at his feet.

“No, sir,” he murmured.

“Then we’re not stopping until you do,” Levi stated, and fixed himself into a fighting stance once more.

Arlert did so too, and Levi charged forwards again.

Levi had half a mind to just let Arlert get a hit in so they could stop and he could go and shower this dirt and sweat off, but he instantly chased that thought away. His eyes flicked up and down Arlert, looked right at his face and into his eyes.

No, he wouldn’t let Arlert win. He knew he was capable enough of it, he could see the fire that burned behind his eyes, knew that, even while Arlert himself didn’t know he was, he was holding himself back. Unsure of what he really could do, too scared to let go, and Levi wanted that.

“Faster!” He barked, ducking a swing. His eyes grew steely at Arlert, watched the boy clench his jaw, his teeth grinding together as he huffed a breath.

Levi knew that Arlert held potential. He wasn’t the strongest, and Levi doubted he’d ever be, but he was damn smart and if he just used his brain in for something physical, it’d be much more useful than trying to find some strength where he lacked it.

Levi knew that Arlert was fast, too. In decisions and physically- he could see how he could run if he stopped holding himself back, had seen his split-second decisions. Levi decided then that he needed to think of another new exercise for them, once they got back. More running, perhaps, obstacle courses or something. Perhaps he’d make Arlert race him at some point, too. The idea tugged his lips up slightly.

“Stop,” Levi huffed,

“Holding,” he breathed,

“Back!” He demanded then, let his voice ring out and saw a few people watching them flinch. He could see Ackerman in the corner of his eye stiffen, eyes cold and jaw clenched. She always had been so protective of the two boys she’d arrived here with, and beating Yeager in court had given her a slight distaste to him. She probably thought he was just going to stop dodging and start beating Arlert, too.

He grabbed onto Arlert’s wrists, yanked him close.

“That was an order, Arlert,” he said lowly, watching the blue eyes widen slightly, before narrowing. Levi felt a rush of euphoric victory flow through him when he saw something flicker in his eyes, and he shoved him away with his foot on his stomach.

That’s when Levi really got what he’d been trying to since he’d first given Arlert a piece of advice when sparring- he could see Arlert assessing the situation in a split second. He knew he couldn’t overpower Levi, and he knew Levi was faster than him, more experienced, knew what to expect and how to react. He could see Arlert’s strategy change, favouring his strengths than pushing his weaknesses to pull through. The people watching them had to step away slightly as their fight took up more space, became more rapid.

“I told you to go harder, Arlert,” Levi snapped, turning to dodge a punch and tripping Arlert, but he rolled quickly to his feet and didn’t waste a second.

“You’ll never win a fight this slow,” he spat, his fist curled in the boys shirt before he spun him away.

“Maybe you aren’t meant for this,” he said, lowering his tone and fixing Arlert with a steely, unrelenting glare, and brought his leg around to kick the back of his knees, forcing him to the floor, and then forced his head onto the floor with his foot.

Levi looked to the side with disinterest before bringing his gaze back to Arlert, panting and squirming under his boot. “I thought you were a scout, Arlert, at this rate you wouldn’t even make the shitty military police,” he scoffed.

He wanted to laugh at the murderous look on Ackerman’s face. She never really would get his tactics, he supposed, but then again, hardly anyone did until they were on the receiving end of them.

“So far, this has been an utter waste of my time. Look at you. It’s quite sad, actually,” Levi stated with a _tsk._

That’s when Arlert managed to throw off his foot, rise to his feet, and Levi jumped back to gather his balance again.

“I’m as good as any scout!” Arlert cried out through gritted teeth.

Levi narrowed his eyes. “Then prove it,” he retorted.

Arlert leapt back into the fight with an enraged yell, and the people who had ‘inconspicuously’ been watching their fight stopped pretending they weren’t watching it, wide eyed and holding their breaths.

Levi dodged the first punch thrown, hopping around to Arlert’s side, and the blonde whipped around swiftly, dodged Levi’s own punch. His eyes were wide and a mix of emotions, but mainly determination- to win this, to prove Levi wrong (even if Levi had been blatantly lying, in his opinion, to push him).

Arlert’s foot came up, slammed against his ribs, and then his fist flew after, connected with his jaw, and Levi was taken aback by the momentum and strength behind it that he staggered, and Arlert kicked his legs out from under him.

Just as soon as Levi’s back hit the floor, and he pushed down the immediate reaction to spring back up despite the brief shock, to stay up and on his feet, he let Arlert keep the moment and stayed down, did Arlert’s eyes widen more than they already had been. It was almost comical.

“C-captain Levi-!” He gasped, hands flying to his mouth, at the same time Erwin’s voice boomed out;

“Stand down, Arlert!”

Levi watched the commander push through the crowd that had grown around them, eyes narrowed at Arlert. “Scout Arlert, did I just see you strike your captain?” He asked dangerously.

Arlert opened his mouth, moved his lips soundlessly, and Levi scoffed loud enough to get their attention.

He turned his head to the ground, spat out a little blood, and looked back up. “Lay off, Erwin, I told him to,” Levi said calmly, and turned to look at Arlert, who looked about on the verge of a panic attack. He raised his eyebrows, lifted his hand.

“It’s customary to help your opponent up,” he stated when Arlert didn’t move. The blonde shot over, then, clasped his hand with Levi’s and helped the shorter man to his feet, though he looked no less fearful.

Levi rolled his eyes, raised his hand to push his hair back.

“That’s what I wanted to see, Arlert. Keep that up,” he told him firmly, before wrinkling his nose.

“Now go shower, brat. You smell like shit.”

Arlert was all too eager to scurry away at that.

“Oi, Arlert,” Levi called, and he whipped around, wide eyed. Levi strode over to him, standing by his side and looking past him. “I know you’re just as good as any other scout. Don’t take it personally, brat. I wanted to see what you could do,” he told him quietly, and he looked silently at him for a moment, before he nodded firmly. He dipped his head in a bow. “Thank you, Captain Levi sir!” He gave a salute quickly, and on his way back inside, Levi saw Yeager and Ackerman flock towards him.

Levi turned back around and faced Erwin.

“Care to tell me what that was about?” He asked, and Levi shrugged.

“Not particularly,” he responded, and turned his eyes downwards. His clothes were filthy now, and he felt grimy and sweaty all over again. His lips turned downwards, and he wiped his hand on his trousers.

“Levi,” Erwin sighed.

“I know that the brat is more capable than even he thinks,” Levi shrugged once more, “I wanted to push him to it. I did tell him to actually hit me, so don’t go and bother him about that,” Levi said. “And anyhow, I gave him more bruises than he gave me,” he retorted.

“We’re leaving soon-“

“Hence why we should end this discussion so I can go shower.”

“And you did that sparring in your binder,” Erwin lowered his voice, narrowed his eyes.

Levi sighed in return, continued to ignore the protest in his ribs- especially where Arlert had kicked him.

“Looser than usual,” he stated, “Hange can be clever, sometimes. It’s hardly more than a tight sports bra, Erwin,” Levi muttered.

Erwin didn’t reply for a while, staring at Levi, before he sighed. “Go shower and put some ice on your ribs. I’ll bring your breakfast up,” he stated.

Levi responded with a nod, and left to gladly go take a shower. He hated the grimy feeling of the sweat, dust and dirt coating him, but he didn’t regret the time he’d just spent with Arlert. Even if the brat was annoying sometimes, he had potential, and Levi wasn’t about to let him waste it and try and force himself to be something he couldn’t. Even if that time had cost his ribs slightly, at least what he said to Erwin had been true- Hange had been a godsend with that design.

As soon as Levi was down with his swift shower, finished towelling his hair off and lacing up his boots again, there was a knock at the door before it opened. Erwin walked in, balancing a tray between his hands, and he closed the door behind him with his foot. He looked mildly shocked to see Levi already showered and dressed.

“I shower quickly, Erwin,” Levi snorted, and slid down into one of the armchairs in his room.

Erwin closed his mouth, nodded, and walked over, placing the tray on the table by his seat. Levi eyed the food with a slight scowl, turning instead to look at the cup of steaming tea with it.

“We’re leaving at ten,” Erwin told him, and Levi, hands reaching for his tea, nodded.

“I’ll be out to prep the horses soon,” Levi responded, lifting the cup to his lips and taking a slow sip of it. Erwin hummed in response, his eyes lingering on the smaller man, and Levi chose to ignore it in hopes of not tempting him into a conversation he didn’t want.

“I’m trusting you’ll be on your top game here, Levi. We’ve brushed the possible importance of this mission, but this could change everything we know,” Erwin said lowly. Levi met his serious gaze steadily, pursed his lips.

“Of course. And we’ll deal with whatever happens when it happens,” he said, eyes flicking to the side. “Don’t let your old age turn you into such a pussy, Erwin,” Levi _tsk-_ ed, tipping his head down.

Erwin raised an eyebrow at him, opened his mouth to respond, but only let out a sigh and shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

“Be ready soon.” He opted for instead, and Levi’s lips twitched slightly.

“Of course,” he said with a nod, and returned his attention to his tea as Erwin saw himself out. It wasn’t often someone made Levi tea for him, and usually, when someone did, it wasn’t made correctly- if they’d put something in it- milk, honey, sugar, etcetera- or they’d boiled the water for too long or infused it for not long enough or too long, whatever. But Erwin seemed to know how he liked it, and Levi was glad that he didn’t have to put it to waste if he couldn’t drink it.

He nibbled briefly at the food brought for his breakfast but when it only left a heavy, uncomfortable feeling in his stomach, he forgot about it by swiftly re-making his hardly used bed (if he was only got to sleep up to four hours, often he simply fell asleep in his chair rather than try and coax himself to relax in  a tangle of sheets and bad memories) and then putting the tray away on his way outside to the horses.

As time to leave drew closer, people got busier, a new energy surrounded each person- some people brushed their horses while their teeth chattered with nerves, some people checked over their gear and talked to their friends in excitement, while some people determinedly challenged each other to a quick sparring match, full of determination to succeed in their mission. Some people got lost in grieving memories while brushing their horses’ manes, before swallowing their losses down and promising to avenge them in their next titan kill.

Fenrir seemed to have picked up on some of the energy, pawing enthusiastically at the ground and whinnying whenever someone came near his stall.

Levi ran his hand down her neck, running his fingers through her mane and smoothing it out. He had half a mind to quietly speak to her like he usually did before they went out on an expedition, but this time he kept his mouth closed, let his words out in the way he brushed through her tail.

He had her bridle and saddle ready to put on her before they left, and he spent the rest of his time checking his gear- cleaning it thoroughly, checking his wires and anchors and blades and gas canisters, and watching the other people accompanying him on this mission getting ready.

They had decided to not bring many people on this mission- it mainly consisted of himself, Erwin, Hange, the 104th, and a few other specific people. They didn’t want to bring too many people on this mission, and it would be easier to cover it with the excuse of a team building exercise with younger and close recruits.

Everyone else was wishing them good luck, helping them check over their gear or helping them saddle up their horses.

Levi turned his own attention to the straps he was buckling onto himself. This would be a short, quick mission. They’d either manage to get in some useful trust building exercises and experience, or they’d find important information, and then they’d be back within a handful of days. It’d be simple, and Levi had been in worse situations. He decided to ignore the heavy feeling of dread that had nestled itself in his stomach.

Levi got Fenrir ready with her saddle and bridle, sorted the stirrups for his height, and threw his Survey Corps cloak over his shoulders. As he walked Fenrir out of her stable and to the gathering group with their own horses, Erwin was busy going over the plan they had been telling everyone that wasn’t either of the two of them, or Hange, and everyone. Levi blocked it out, swinging himself up onto Fenrir’s saddle smoothly, and took his place beside Erwin. When Fenrir shook her head and glared at Erwin’s large horse, he calmed her with a quiet whisper and by patting her shoulder firmly until she stood still.

“Gear in check?” Erwin asked him when he finished with the rest of the group. Levi raised an eyebrow ever so slightly.

“Of course it is,” he replied, fixing his grip on his reins. “If we’re done here, lead the way, commander. We don’t want to waste even more daylight on guiding them with baby steps,” Levi said, words dripping with sarcasm.

Erwin pursed his lips, but nodded, turning his horse and nudging her to start walking. Levi followed, guiding the rest of the group, while Hange rode at the back of the group, already rambling to anyone who would listen about tests she hoped to conduct with Yeager Titan’s cooperation. Sometimes, Levi felt slightly sorry for the kid.

Levi had become used to ignoring the attention they got as they rode out, ignored the glares, the awe-struck looks, the mutters that cursed Erwin for leading their children or siblings or friends to their death, praying Levi, _Humanity’s Strongest_ , would bring them back. He could ignore it all he wanted, but he’d always know there were kids watching him ride past and think he was some amazing role model, and he’d always know that there were people who watched him who he wouldn’t be able to look in the eye today. Levi clenched his jaw and kept his eyes on the gate as it waited to be pulled open for them.

The gate groaned as it was dragged upwards for them, and the sound of the horses hooves thundered loudly as they spurred them on outside. Levi tilted his face upwards, feeling the sun warm his skin, and he took a deep breath in. He had a mission to complete, and the sooner they got it over with, the sooner they could get back in one piece.

 


	4. Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look! An update! I'm so sorry I left this so long, but I'm getting back into this and the idea I had, so I'm hyped to continue! If you like it, feel free to comment your opinion or your own ideas or whatever, I love reading feedback!  
> You can find me on Tumblr @genderfxck-levi if you want to talk to me!
> 
> Also, as a side note- to any fellow trans readers, please do not follow Levi's horrible binding schedule! Don't bind for too long and stay safe!

The wind whipped his cloak around him and pulled his hair back from his face, and Levi turned his head up to look at the sky. They’d been riding for a while now, and the sun had hidden behind clouds and the wind had picked up slowly. Levi just hoped it didn’t begin raining. He scowled up at the clouds before turning his face forwards again, and used one hand to pull his cloak tighter around him.

As they rode it had only gotten colder, and Levi just hoped they got to the abandoned village before the weather could take a turn for the worse. It seemed everyone else agreed with him as he listened to Jaeger complain about the bitterness of the wind and watched Arlert pull his hood over his head. Jean grit his teeth against the chill, and Mikasa continuously fixed her hair when it got blown into her face.

“How much longer, Commander!” Hange whined, kicking her feet out of the stirrups and stretching her legs out.

Erwin ignored Hange’s whine, sitting into his horses’ stride.

“Erwin,” she called, pouting her bottom lip out and sighing heavily, “when will we reach the village?” She asked. Levi turned his gaze to the Commander, his lips twitching upwards slightly at his exasperated expression.

“We’ll reach it when we reach it, Hange,” he replied with a heavy sigh, his shoulders sagging.

“But that’s not a real answer, Commander!” She countered, slipping her feet back into the stirrups. “We haven’t even seen a single titan, either! This mission’s a waste,” she declared, deflating and pouting.

“We’re not here for titans, shitty-glasses,” Levi said, and Hange turned her gaze onto the stoic-faced man.

“You might not be, Levi, but that’s just because you’re incapable of love,” she accused. Levi quirked a thin brow.

“Are you implying you’re in love with titans?”

“At least they like it when I hug them.”

“You hardly bathe, why would I like it when you attempt to smother me?” Levi scoffed.

“Well, I would have said it’s because you love me, but that’s obviously not the case.” “That’s the first correct thing you’ve ever said. Congratulations.”

“That’s the first semi-nice thing you’ve ever said, Captain. Congratulations.”

“I could continue to bully you. I think that’s a good idea.”

“Have you ever not bullied me?”

“Have you ever given me a reason _not_ to bully you?”

“My complete and utter infatuation and love for you, for one.”

“I think you’re getting confused with your stalker-ish obsession with me.”

“I can’t deny you look adorable when you sleep or think no one can see you.”

“I wouldn’t think about sleeping if I were you.”

“I don’t sleep anyway, Heichou, because then I’d miss watching you sleep.”

“I’m surprised you can even see me at night, four-eyes.”

“I mean, you are quite a small thing to spy out.”

“I thought you two were adults and superiors,” Erwin spoke up, his voice loud and cold and utterly fed up as he looked to the two bickering adults.

“We are. I know he might not look like one, but trust me, he actually is.”

“Her mental age might fool you, Erwin, but physically yes, she’s an adult,” Levi said, glaring darkly at Hange. The younger soldiers around them were holding their breaths or snickering at them behind their hands.

Erwin looked between the two, and then closed his eyes. He shook his head and looked down, before turning his gaze back forwards and muttered something about them under his breath.

Hange turned to look at Levi, and the two shared a sly smile and Hange snickered.

“Two ten meter titans approaching from the right!” Someone called out, and Levi quirked an eyebrow.

“Well, Hange, stop obsessing over me and go to your soulmates,” Levi said. Hange barked a laugh, but at Erwin’s nod, she steered her horse to the right. She let out an enthusiastic cry as she flew towards the titans, swinging around one to reach its’ back, and her blades sliced through its’ nape, and then she swung around to the second looming giant who greeted her with a grin. Even from here, Levi could hear her yelling at it as if it actually understood what she was saying, let alone cared about anything other than devouring her.

Still, she efficiently killed it and eventually made her way back into formation, frowning.

“He didn’t accept my proposal,” she said, and Levi snorted, tipping his head back.

The rest of the ride was just as uneventful and just resulted in more complaining as it got colder and slowly began to rain, like Levi had expected it to. They stopped once to let their horses rest and get some water and food, as well as themselves, and then they continued on through the rain.

By the time they reached the little settlement they planned to reside in, they were thoroughly drenched and miserable, and even Hange had quietened down. The set their horses up in one of the larger houses that had one wall missing, most likely kicked out by a titan, and then they all settled in the second largest buildings. They draped their cloaks out over the backs of wooden chairs in there, and hauled in their supplies with them. Armin lit a fire in the fireplace to the side of the first floor, and everyone huddled around it with their sleeping bags when it took off. Levi hadn’t even bothered to bring a sleeping bag with him- on a good night, he got four hours of sleep. On an outing, he got anywhere from half an hour- to two hours max, and it’d just be tedious to bring a sleeping bag that’d weigh him down for two hours of comfort.

Instead, he settled into one of the wooden seats and took a sip from his canteen of water, watching the flames in the fireplace dance and cast shadows along the walls.

Everyone began chatting quietly, eating and huddling into their sleeping bags. Erwin took a seat next to him and stretched his long legs out under him, and Levi glanced briefly at him, and then at everyone settled by the fire. Hange and him exchanged a glance, and she simply gave him finger guns before turning back to the younger soldiers she was talking to. Levi ought to talk to her about better signals, but he supposed anything more mature would be obvious coming from Hange.

“Tonight?” Levi asked in a hushed tone, turning his gaze back to Erwin who was taking a sip of his water. He quirked an eyebrow slightly, and took his time in answering.

“Not tonight,” he said with a shake of his head. “Possibly tomorrow. We have time, and with this weather, we might as well let it clear out and actually get some team building in while we’re here.” His hand twisted the cap of his bottle back on tightly, and he set it on the table in front of him, crossing one leg over the other.

Levi hummed in acknowledgement, turning to look at the soldiers.

“They’ve improved much since they first joined,” he commented. Erwin nodded his agreement.

“But, they’ve been in very different circumstances. They’d be dead by now if they hadn’t improved.”

Levi snorted softly. “I’m still surprised some of them have made it this far, but they do have potential, I suppose. It’d be a shame if they did die before they could fulfil it,” he sighed, pursing his lips slightly.

Erwin raised his bushy eyebrows, his lips twitching slightly as his gaze roamed over them. Certainly, they’d come very far since they’d first came into the Survey Corps. They’d matured and grown and gotten close to the people they’d fight over the littlest things previously. It would be a lie if Levi said he wasn’t proud of the people in front of him.

“Try and get some rest,” Erwin advised, pulling himself to his feet. Levi snorted, quickly standing up also.

“I’m taking first watch,” he responded, grabbing his cloak that had been slowly drying in the heat from the fire, and he threw it over his shoulders. He took his water with him and went up the rickety staircase, taking a seat on a piece of rubble and looking out among the dark hills in the distance from where he sat, peering over the remains of a ruined wall. He got somewhat comfortable, settling down and pulling his hood over his head, sipping his water and struggling to loosen his binder- it had been on all day, and though it was slightly looser than usual, it’d still been on way too long and had passed uncomfortable.

Throughout the night, the rain hammered down continuously, and Levi listened as the chatter downstairs slowly died down until everyone had fallen asleep. At one point he went back downstairs briefly to throw more of the gathered firewood onto the fire to keep it burning, and then he returned to his place upstairs, eyes scanning the terrain for any titans.

At one point during the night, Levi could see a lumbering figure off in the distance, and he’d crouched behind the remains of the houses’ wall, just in case it noticed him from where it was- they still weren’t overly sure of how a titan could ‘sniff them out’ other than the obvious- loud noises and making themselves known. Some titans were completely oblivious to them, meanwhile some seemed to just know where they were.

It didn’t seem to get wind of him, however, and disappeared from sight, and he sat back to where he had previously. He rested his chin on his hand, watching as the rain lightened up and the moon began to dip down low and the sun greeted him again. Some days it still felt odd to wake up to that sight, to see the sun rising over grassy hills. If he wanted, he could go and just wander around those hills in the early morning light, and no one could really stop him. Well, other than perhaps a titan, but he could take care of that easily.

Sometimes, Levi would sit up and watch the sunrise, and he’d dig into the locked box he kept, hidden under loose floorboards in his office, and pull things out of it- maybe he’d pull out Furlan’s diary, or the sketch Isabel had once drawn of the three of them, sitting in the cavern underground with the hole that let sunlight in, Furlan’s arm pulling Levi into his chest as they teased him. Maybe he’d bring out the one book Furlan had always read to them and he’d read a few pages in a near-silent whisper. Sometimes he’d just sit and talk, as if they were there or they were listening to them. Sometimes he’d be furious, and he’d first his hands into his hair and tug until he thought he’d pull strands out, and he’d curse everything in the universe that had lead them to meet him, and how he’d brought them to their death. Sometimes it’d be mournful and gentle, or sometimes it’d be loving and funny and he’d speak like he would if they’d never died.

They deserved so much more than he’d given them, and he was reminded of it each time he watched sun rise and spit in his face.

Levi let out a sigh and rose to his feet, stretching his arms up above his head, and then behind his head, arching his back slowly. He bent over and touched his hands to the floor, his chest to his thighs, and then he stood up once more. He made his way downstairs, pushing his hood down and swallowing a mouthful of water from his bottle.

Everyone was still sound asleep, and Levi tiptoed his way through them, heading towards the door and making his way outside.

He made his way to the horses and began giving them more water and their feed, running his hand over their necks and through their manes. Fenrir, who was standing at the far end of the house with the wall on one side and Erwin’s horse was on her other side. She nickered happily, nudging her nose into his hand when he approached and greedily snatching the food as soon as he presented it to her. Levi gave her side a gentle pat, rolling his eyes.

“If it weren’t for all these titans, you’d be as obese as one of the nobles,” he snorted, and then ran his fingers along her neck gently. He left the horses to eat and headed back inside, silently closing the rickety door behind him.

“Awake so early?” Erwin mused, and Levi looked at him with slight shock before composing himself, quietly _tsk-_ ing.

“Someone had to check on the horses, and everyone else here was re-enacting _Sleeping Beauty,”_ he scoffed, his voice quieter though as to not wake them up.

Erwin quirked an eyebrow, stepping towards Levi and close enough that anyone watching would have held their breath, expecting the short Captain to drop kick him for his proximity.

Instead, Levi just tipped his head to the side, his face remaining impassive though his lips quirked ever so slightly. Erwin set a hand on his shoulder, thumbing the fabric of his shirt that bunched up on his shoulder.

Levi had never seen someone with eyes as blue as Erwin, and he’d always enjoyed the way they changed with the lighting. But, also the idea of thinking like that made Levi want to beat himself up for thinking something so disgustingly cliché and domestic.

Erwin leaned down, and Levi could feel his breath ghost across his cheek.

“You better have slept,” he whispered by his ear, and Levi felt like someone had injected him with icy water. He glared at Erwin’s merciless, smug smirk, and nudged him away.

“Screw yourself,” Levi muttered, going to step around the Commander, but Erwin stepped aside with him and stayed in front of him.

“Well, that’s not very polite,” he hummed, and Levi rolled his eyes, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. His neck was beginning to hurt from having to look up so much at Erwin, with how tall and close he was.

“Nor is standing directly in front of me,” Levi stated, and Erwin finally moved aside, watching him with that constant smug smirk of his.

“Would you rather I stand behind you?” He questioned, and Levi turned around, lashing his hand out to slap his stomach.

“I’ll beat your ass, Erwin,” Levi said, and a small laugh left Erwin’s lips.

“We’re doing that team-building today, and you want to fight me?” Erwin said, raising an eyebrow.

“I always want to fight you, Smith,” Levi snorted, and then he walked around the Commander and made his way through sleeping bodies until he reached the old staircase and made his way back upstairs. He chose to ignore when Erwin followed a few feet behind him.

Levi stood in front of the crumbling wall, folding his arms across his chest and looking out along the other few houses at the settlement. It had stopped raining to give a clear sky now with a gentle breeze that nipped at his skin.

Erwin stood behind him, his face impassive as he looked outside too.

“Maybe I was wrong about Hange, maybe you’re my stalker,” Levi muttered, glancing briefly up at him over his shoulder.

“I could stalk you if you want,” Erwin mused jokingly, placing his hands on his shoulders and running them down until they rested on his small waist.

“I don’t think that’s how stalking works, Erwin,” Levi said, and Erwin shrugged, his fingers gently drawing circles on him. He dipped his head down to Levi’s height. Levi supressed a shiver from his breath warming the back of his neck.

“I want you to work with your squad today on team building,” he said, “give them a real challenge. You and Hange can go earlier to scout out the place, and you’ll leave when everyone has gone to sleep, you’ll head out. Take anyone you think you might need.” He spoke in hushed whisper by his ear, letting his hands wander around his hips and sides and waist, and Levi just pressed his lips together, both cursing and taking comfort in his touches.

“If you’re this much of a horny bastard, you should’ve just cancelled the mission,” he muttered, and could feel Erwin’s smirk without having to see it. He tucked his head into the crook of Levi’s neck, gently pressing his lips against his skin.

“Why? I can control myself,” he stated, and Levi snorted.

“Yeah, this is a prime example of that,” he muttered, and Erwin just grinned. His finger hooked into one of his belt loops on his hip and he spun him around to face him and pulling him against him. He caught his lips in a chaste kiss before he stepped aside, turning to look back outside, and Levi staggered for a moment. Erwin raised an eyebrow and side-eyed him.

“We don’t have all day, Levi. Go wake everyone up,” Erwin urged, and Levi pursed his lips, composing himself and glaring at the Commander. He turned and headed down the stairs, eyes narrowed as he thought bitterly about Erwin, and he roughly nudged Hange with his booted toe.

“Wake up, four-eyes,” he said, nudging her for another moment before moving onto the next person, continuing until everyone was awake and groaning unpleasantly, rubbing their eyes and heaving themselves out of their sleeping bags.

“What a pleasant awakening,” Hange muttered, resting her cheek on the palm of her hand.

“I could kick you harder next time,” Levi offered, raising an eyebrow, and Hange pouted, using the wall to help her to her feet. Everyone began to help themselves to the food they’d packed for breakfast, and Levi strode over to where Hange was, leaning against the wall with her water, away from everyone else. He fell against the wall beside her, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Erwin said tonight,” he murmured, and Hange let out a quiet hum. “We can bring anyone we want to have with us, too” he added and Hange smiled thoughtfully, looking over everyone.

“Mikasa’s skilled, she could be useful if we run into trouble. Armin’s smart and would be useful to have if there’s a more technical side to things. Jaeger titan might be useful, but he’d bring a lot more attention to us and risk waking everyone else up down here,” she mused, pursing her lips and letting out a sigh. Levi nodded his head in agreement, eying them all thoughtfully.

“Ackerman and Arlert might be a good idea. I’ll talk to them later about it,” he said, and then he walked away from her.

“As soon as you’re done stuffing your faces, head outside,” Levi called, and then he went outside, leaving everyone inside to hurry to follow after him.

When, eventually, everyone came out and found Levi standing off to the side, away from the buildings, with his gear on.

“Alright, so, as you’ve all been told, we’re doing some team building today. You need to trust in your teammates, and trust that they can also trust you,” he said, his hands clasped behind his back.

“And what if one of you get injured? Do you trust the people around you enough to get you back safely?” He questioned, tilting his head to the side slightly.

“Pair up with the people you’re least close to,” Levi ordered, and saw all of the hesitation that took place between everyone as they awkwardly shuffled to the last person they’d argued with, or the people they’d hardly ever spoken to.

“Now that you’re all thoroughly uncomfortable- find the pair with the people you’re both closest to,” he said, his lips twitching slightly, “you should notice you’re working with the person you probably trust the least, against the people you both trust the most,” he said, and that seemed to be the case.

“First pair that manages to find my cloak hidden somewhere here, while tripping up your opponents, gets a break back in the walls and a day to command the rest of you,” he said, waving a hand dismissively. Instantly, everyone broke out into competitive chattering and started running off, throwing paranoid glances to those they’d paired themselves against.

Levi watched them run off and let out a sigh, wandering to the nearest tree and sliding down it until he was sitting, and then he waited, watching occasionally as pairs ran past him frantically. His eyes flicked above him, and his lips twitched slightly in amusement. It was so easy to fool them, he thought, eying his cloak wound around one of the low-hanging branches of the tree.

A pair passed by him, and Levi watched as Jaeger and Kirstein bickered, looking around frantically.

Kirstein’s eyes flicked over to Levi, watching them through narrowed grey eyes, and briefly, they flicked up above him, and back to him. Levi raised an eyebrow silently, and he watched Kirstein’s shoulders fall.

“Oh my god,” he said, and he grabbed Jaeger, turning him around and pointing above Levi’s head. He almost laughed at the expression that took the short-tempered kids’ face, and the two began jogging over. Levi didn’t stop them as they tried to clamber up the tree, but instead watched as Sasha and Reiner began sprinting over to them, and began yelling.

“Jean! Boost me up, hurry up!” Jaeger cried out, his nails scratching against the tree as he tried to reach the cloak.

“Rip it and you’re dead,” Levi muttered to them, watching Kirstein’s eyes widen and how he gritted his teeth.

“Shut up, Eren, I’m trying. You weigh about as much as a titan,” he grumbled, clasping his hands together and letting Eren stand on his hands. Levi grimaced slightly at the dirt left on his hands.

“Not so fast!” Blouse yelled, and the two began sprinting forwards. Kirstein’s mouth gaped widely, and he heaved Jaeger up as he tried to untangle Levi’s cloak, his tongue sticking out between his lips in concentration.

“Go, Sasha!” Braun urged, pushing her forwards as he reached the two and grabbed Jaeger, pulling him down. Blouse all but threw herself at the tree like a monkey, climbing it with a speed that shocked Levi. Her hands worked to untangle the cloak, and she kicked out when Jean grabbed for her ankle.

“Give up, horse face, you’re not getting it!” She laughed, and then she fell off the tree. Levi winced for her, but watched through slits as she threw her hand up, holding his cloak.

With the commotion, everyone had made their way outside, running over in an attempt to grab it before the others, but stopped when they saw that Blouse had won.

Levi stood up, swiping his cloak back from her hand and wrapping it around his shoulders. “Blouse and Braun win,” he announced, brushing some dirt off the cloak.

“More competitive than team-building, but I suppose it was just a warmup,” he uttered, pressing his lips together. When he opened them again to speak, Kirstein, now covered in dust and dirt, interrupted him, looking over his shoulder.

“Titan approaching, Captain!” He barked, and Levi whipped around. Sure enough, a tall titan was lumbering slowly towards them, a stretched grin on its face. It would wander a few steps to the side and look around, before looking straight at them and staggering closer.

Levi watched it for a moment, eyes narrowed, as it fell over its own feet. It lifted its head from the floor, dug its fingers into the ground, and began running forwards on all fours as if its’ limbs were broken.

A collective gasp of shock at the sudden movement broke everyones lips, and Levi turned to look at them.

“Well? Team-building,” he said, gesturing forwards to the fast-approaching titan. “Go.”

“Yes, sir!” They responded, and Levi used his gear to pull him onto the roof of one of the buildings, watching everyone prepare themselves for the abnormal.

He watched them talk, planning it out quickly until the titan reached them, digging a trench behind it with its dragging knee. It’s large eyes flicked over everyone, before it hauled itself up, a loud breath escaping it. It turned to face Levi on the roof, its greasy hair falling to the side, and then it began to stagger towards him. Levi frowned, stepping closer to the edge of the roof.

Levi glanced to the side, watching as Kirstein flew towards it, blades scoring a gash in its’ arm, and Blouse followed him quickly, squealing in excitement as she neared it. One of its’ hands reached for Levi, and he almost debated not moving, seeing if it would spur the team on to try and save him, but this was an abnormal and he knew better than to risk it for some stupid team building.

He jumped out of its reach, flying back with his gear and urging the younger soldiers on. The titan, determined to reach Levi, ignored everyone else, and this time as it reached for him, its’ hand fell suddenly when Ackerman flew around its neck and gouged its nape out with her blades, and then landed on the floor beside it.

Levi nodded approvingly, jumping down to stand by them.

“Quick work,” he commented, “good job. As long as no one is injured, we can get back to work.”

Everyone nodded, lingering to watch the steaming titan corpse, before following Levi away from it.

“No injuries?” Erwin asked, peeking out from his spot just outside the building they’d set up in. Levi shook his head in response, throwing a small glare at the Commander. Erwin’s lips twitched upwards as he looked down at him, and he leaned against the doorway.

Levi continued on until they had enough space, already pushing the titan problem to the back of his mind now it was taken care of.

“Now that that’s done,” he said, glancing back at the steaming mess- he wondered if it was the one he’d seen in the distance last night. It had certainly walked like it, at the least. “We can get back to business.”

Just like that, Levi was giving instructions for another team building exercising, and that’s how they spent most of their time between exercises and breaks. He had just moved on to sparring now, not wanting to let their skills slack, and he wandered over to where Jaeger, Ackerman, and Arlert were- they always seemed to spar as a trio, and he really ought to put an end to that.

“Ackerman, Arlert, come here a minute,” he said, jerking his head to the side and walking off. He listened to their confused chatter for a moment before the two did so, quickly following after him. He kept walking until he was sure they were out of earshot from everyone else, and then he turned to face it.

“Yes, Captain?” Arlert asked hesitantly, and the anxiety already rolling off him made Levi doubt bringing him with them on this mission- but no. He knew Arlert was more than his nerves.

“Relax, brat. Neither of you are in trouble. Do you think I only talk to you when I want to yell at you?” He questioned, raising an eyebrow. He saw Ackerman open her mouth, then change whatever she was about to say. Good.

“To be fair, Captain, I didn’t take you as the chatting type,” she commented, and Levi’s lips twitched upwards.

“You wouldn’t be surprised, then,” he responded, and shook his head. “I want you two to come with Hange and I when we head out later tonight,” he said, and watched their exchanged looks of curiosity and confusion.

“We didn’t know there was anything else happening here, sir,” Ackerman said.

“Only Hange, Erwin and I do,” he said. “There’s supposed to be an old village nearby that we hope that, if it even exists, it holds some information we need. Hange and I are going to scout further out later, and once everyone has gone to sleep, we were going to leave by ourselves. But Ackerman, your skill would be extremely useful if we ran into any trouble, and Arlert, you’re extremely good at puzzle solving and strategizing,” he said, his face serious.

Arlert glanced at Ackerman with uncertainty, rocking on his feet before he nodded. “I’ll join,” he said, standing up a little straighter. Ackerman watched Levi for a moment longer, and he cocked an eyebrow at her. “I’ll join too,” she agreed, nodding.

“Good. Go eat and rest now- it could be a long night. You’ll want the rest when you’re out with Hange,” he stated, a small roll to his eyes as he realised just what the night would bring, having Hange with him. He was glad that the two were coming with him, now. “We’ll wake you when we’re going to leave,” he added, and the two nodded.

“Yes, sir!” They said, and then they turned around again. Levi followed behind them and watched as they went back inside. His gaze lingered on the door closing behind them, and he took a breath in. He’d finish up with the rest of them, and then he and Hange would head out to scout the place out, and then- well, who knows what the rest of the night would bring.


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update!  
> I hope you guys like it! As always, if you do, feel free to let me know that you did and what your favourite part was! I love hearing any and all feedback, it motivates me to get more out quicker for you guys!

They had a late dinner and as everyone settled on their bedrolls by the fire, warming up after Levi’s rigorous training- he’d finished it harder than they’d began, and they were happy to huddle together and shovel food in their mouths- Erwin made his way down the stairs. Everyone momentarily quietened as he came over, but when he just wandered over to Levi and Hange, sitting off to the side together silently.

Feigning innocence, Levi lifted his head to look at Erwin curiously, eyebrows raised. “Commander,” he greeted, lifting his water to his lips and taking a sip of it.

“Levi, Hange,” he nodded, “I’ve been seeing some disruption to the east. Most likely only a few titans, but even so, I’m sending you two out to investigate it. Scout the area around us and make sure that it’s only a few titans,” Erwin said, and the two nodded.

“Understood,” Levi nodded, closing his bottle again and setting it on the table. He stood up, grabbing his cloak, and Hange followed after him, swallowing down a mouthful of potatoes.

“You can count on us!” She said, saluting before she tightened her own cloak around her shoulders. “C’mon, Levi, just you and I against the world!” She said, grabbing his wrist and running to the door. Levi let out a startled grunt, but followed after her, turning his lingering gaze away from Erwin and the curious eyes watching them.

Hange continued to drag him on until they reached their horses, and she threw herself upon her large stallion who was already prepped, and Levi pulled himself gracefully onto Fenrir’s saddle.

“Lead the way, Captain,” she said as they rode out of the settlement, and Levi quietly did so, having already memorised the map and the route they’d take, as well as the two backup routes they had planned if anything went wrong.

Hange rambled on as they rode, either oblivious or purposefully ignorant to Levi’s complete lack of attention or responses.

 “Alright then, Levi, if you’re not interested in that,” she said, puffing her cheeks out, “how did Mikasa and Armin take it?” She asked, and Levi flicked his grey gaze over to him.

“Arlert took it well. Ackerman took it like she takes any order. They’re keeping quiet about it and will be joining us. I didn’t tell them exactly what we think might be out there, though,” he explained, and Hange nodded, sitting back into the stride of her horse.

Levi turned to face forwards again, spurring Fenrir on with a gentle squeeze. The sun was setting low, causing explosions of red and orange and pink to blossom across the sky, and Levi took a moment to look and appreciate the scene- endless grassy hills with the occasional bunch of flowers or tree standing against the masterpiece in the sky, birds flying across it like tiny specks, a gentle breeze caressing his cheek as he rode. It was peaceful and nice, and Levi closed his eyes with the image burned into the back of them. If humanity ever won this shit show, and he was still alive for it, he’d leave the walls almost immediately and build his own house out here, and he’d fall asleep to this image every night and wake up to see the stars twinkle out of sight and maybe the sun would greet him pleasantly.

Levi opened his eyes and looked towards the trees they were nearing. It was a large, dense forest, getting thicker the further you went in, and it was impossible to peer through the trees. Somewhere in there, though, could possibly be what they were hoping for, and as they got closer to the trees Levi slowed Fenrir down. Hange, too, slowed down to match his pace, riding at his side and peering in through the trees. It felt eerie- the thick trees blocking out any sunlight and casting the place beyond them into almost pitch black, especially as the sun dipped down, and it was impossible to even try and make a guess as to whether or not there could actually be anything in there.

“Doesn’t seem we’re getting much from here,” Hange commented, and Levi snorted. He had the urge to tell her to shut up, as if her voice would draw a mob of titans, or something worse, out of the trees, but he pushed it down.

“Great observation,” he responded with instead, eyes flicking back to her.

“If Erwin wants us to search through here at night, we’re gonna have to pack a shit ton of torches- all of the ones we brought,” he stated. Hange nodded in agreement, twisting her hands around the reins of her horse.

“I would suggest telling him it’d be better during the day, but we’ve already planned it out. Well, let’s just hope none of you guys are scared of a little bit of darkness,” she said, grinning childishly. Levi’s eyes turned to the trees, the thick blanket of shadow that obscured everything beyond them from his sight, and he swallowed dryly.

“Wouldn’t that be great,” he replied sarcastically, and then he tugged Fenrir’s reins to turn her slightly, nudging her into a walk.

“Come on, then. There’s nothing we can do without some torches, we might as well head back. Maybe we’ll find a titan on the way back that you can poke at, or something.”

They did, indeed, find a titan on the way back- multiple, actually, and Hange cheered like a maniac as she swung around them, ogling at them and laughing when one tried to snatch her from another’s shoulder and all but punched the titan instead. Levi let her have her fun with them before he swooped in to kill them and usher her back to her horse.

Erwin greeted them when they returned, Hange trailing after Levi and rambling about the titans they’d fought, and Levi set his cloak on the back of a chair before slumping in it. The younger companions stopped their chatter to look towards the two curiously.

“A few titans, if you couldn’t tell from Hange’s rambling. If there was anything out there, it was too dark to see it,” he shrugged, crossing one leg over the other. Erwin nodded in understanding from where he stood, leaning against the wall near the others.

“Better safe than sorry,” he said, and Levi just nodded. His mood had decreased since reaching the forest, an uneasy and agitated feeling still clinging to him, and he excused himself to be alone upstairs, sitting against the wall and looking out through the crumbling wall.

He couldn’t explain the dread he felt when he’d stared into the darkness in the forest, feeling as though something bad was in there, and the idea of travelling through that made him on edge, made his heart beat quicker.

It was incredibly embarrassing, his irrational fears. Everyone had them, he knew, but they tended to be understandable- trauma from titan encounters, a fear of fire, etcetera, or things caused by bad experiences in their life, and though Levi’s fit under that category, he excluded himself from the justification. He was Levi, _Humanity’s Strongest,_ a few bad experiences shouldn’t be enough to make him sweat. He’d survived worse and not been traumatised by them.

He just hoped that, if anything else, there were no damned bugs or rats in that forest. He’d personally call a quits to the mission if that was the case.

Levi glared out into the darkening sky, curling his hand into a fist and digging his nails into the palm of his hand. He had been so deep in thought that he didn’t notice Erwin coming up the stairs until he was a few feet away from him, and his eyes snapped quickly to him, muscles tensing briefly.

“So you couldn’t see anything?” Erwin mused, lowering himself onto the floor beside him. Levi glanced away.

“The forest is thick. We’ll have to take most of the torches with us to see anything in there,” he explained, and Erwin nodded.

“Take whatever supplies you need. I’m trusting that you’ll be back before the sun rises,” he stated, and Levi could hear the unspoken statement. He gave a soft snort, eying him softly.

“I’ll be fine, Smith. I highly doubt there’s even anything in there anyway,” he shrugged, and Erwin sighed softly.

“I know. Like I said before, I trust you,” he said, and Levi simply huffed a quiet breath through his nose.

“Maybe I’ll just purposely piss off Ackerman so she attacks me so I can come back hurt,” he stated, and Erwin glared at him. “Relax, old man. I’m not planning to do anything,” Levi sighed after a moment, slumping against the wall.

“Everyone’s beginning to go to sleep. Mikasa dibbed first watch, and Arlert’s just waiting for the time to leave,” he informed, and Levi nodded, humming quietly.

“We’ll leave shortly, then,” he stated, and Erwin let his gaze linger.

“I’d appreciate if you stopped eying me,” Levi snorted, and Erwin let out a breathy laugh. He heaved himself to his feet, and Levi’s eyes followed him upwards. He rolled his eyes and stood up, choosing to ignore the little smile on Erwin’s lips as he stepped closer to Levi.

“You’re going to get us found out one of these days,” Levi muttered, placing his hands on Erwin’s arms when his own hands found a place to rest on Levi’s hips.

“As a wise man once said- ‘fuck it’,” Erwin said, and Levi snorted, tipping his head back.

“I wonder who that wise man is,” he commented sarcastically, and Erwin lifted one hand to dance across Levi’s chin.

“If you’re going to kiss me, Smith, hurry up, you sappy git,” Levi grumbled, and the blonde grinned.

“If we weren’t above a group of teenagers, I’d make you regret that,” he commented, and Levi was ready to start wiggling out of his grip with a glare until Erwin did, _finally,_ kissed him overly gently. Levi in return nipped at his lip sharply, forcing out the irritation and anxiety in him into the gesture. He could feel Erwin startle slightly, but he followed Levi’s subtle instructions. Erwin knew what he needed, when he needed it. He could tell in the subtle body language and tone and words he used, and Levi was forever grateful for it.

Just like now, he knew what Levi needed, and he pressed forwards until Levi felt his back hit the wall behind him, and his hands curled into the Commanders’ shirt, pulling him down and putting more force behind the kiss. He tried to push the desperation that bubbled up in his chest, and one of Erwin’s hands travelled upwards, fingers teasing along his scalp, and then they tightened, tugging it painfully and breaking the kiss.

Levi took in a shuddering breath, turning his head towards Erwin’s hand and looking at him with parted lips and wide eyes.

“You have a mission to do, Levi. Look for that village. Keep everyone safe, and be back before sunrise,” Erwin whispered by his ear, tone void of emotion, and Levi nodded as much as he could with his hand still in his hair.

“Good,” he said, and he stepped back, letting him go and gesturing towards the stairs. Levi glanced down them and took a moment to compose himself, repeating Erwin’s words to himself, and he quickly fixed his hair before silently heading down them.

Everyone was quiet save for their snoring, and Arlert turned to look at him when he came down. Levi nodded, heading to the door, and Arlert scrambled to his feet as quietly as he could, following Levi out.

“Come on, Ackerman, we’re heading out,” he said, waving her down from her spot on top of their make-shift stables, and he was happy to see Hange already sitting on her horse. She had a backpack on, and one for each of them by the side, and one hand was holding a torch.

“Well, come on then! We’ve not got all night!” She hollered, and Levi threw one of the backpacks over his shoulders, taking one of the torches and matches out of it quickly. He felt much more stable than he had twenty minutes ago, but he still couldn’t imagine not having a torch immediately in hand.

Ackerman and Arlert were quick to hurry onto their own horses, following Levi’s lead. He lit the torch as they went, leaning into Fenrir’s stride.

“Captain, may I ask what this is all about?” Ackerman spoke up, and Levi’s gaze flicked over to the girl. He pursed his lips, but tipped his head in a small nod.

“We think there might be an old village in a forest just ahead of here. And if it is there, it might have some more clues about the titans and the walls. That’s what we’re hoping for, but I doubt there will actually be anything there. People wouldn’t just leave information like that, unattended to,” he snorted, “Hange and I came up to the forest earlier. It’s big, and we’ll have to stick close incase anyone gets lost,” he stated. Ackerman glanced between him and Arlert, but nodded eventually.

“And if there is something there, sir?” She queried. Levi turned his gaze forwards again, and then shrugged.

“We’ll take what information we can, and get out of there. It’ll be easy. I would have preferred to do this during the day, but Erwin seems determined that there’s something in there, and he doesn’t want to risk it. He should’ve done this damn thing himself if he was that sure about it,” he muttered, his tongue dashing along his lips.

“You two are here for backup- Ackerman, incase we run into any people, or titans, there, and Arlert incase there are any puzzles or traps or whatever,” he informed, waving a hand dismissively. The two nodded with understanding, and Levi paused.

“If anything is to go extremely wrong, then head back,” he said, ignoring Hange’s curious eyes, Arlert’s scared ones, and Ackerman’s unwavering ones. “I highly doubt anything will, but if it does and we can’t handle it, get out of there and back to camp,” he instructed, turning to look at them coldly. He raised an eyebrow. “Understood?” He asked.

“Yes sir,” the two said together, nodding, before turning their attention forwards.

They reached the forest slower than they had earlier, being more careful in the dark. He still felt uneasy once they reached the trees, and he watched Arlert shift in his saddle. Levi checked the torch in his hand and _tsk-_ ed, seeing how it flickered down near his fingers. He shook it out and threw the useless piece away, hurrying to light a new one.

He stared into the darkness between the trees and took a deep breath, before guiding Fenrir into it.

“I wish we could’ve done this during the day,” Hange muttered, and Levi snorted.

“You’re telling me,” he replied bitterly, eyes flicking around. The torches gave them limited sight around them, and he felt like a walking target. There could be someone six feet in front of him and he wouldn’t even be able to see it.

“Where should this village be, sir?” Arlert asked, and Levi kept his eyes forwards.

“We’re not sure exactly where, but most likely at the heart of the forest, where it’ll be thickest,” he said, shrugging tensely. After Arlert’s attempt to strike up a chat, they fell into silence. Levi couldn’t help how his eyes flicked around at every slight noise, and how all his muscles tensed, ready to dodge or deflect or return an attack. The dark set him on edge and his hands were white-knuckled on the reins.

As much as Levi was good at orienting himself, the forest easily threw their sense of direction. As much as Levi was sure he’d kept them going as straight as possible, winding around trees blindly was sure to have thrown them off. Even so, the trees only grew closer together and it seemed to only get thicker and darker, if that was possible. The shadows around them ate up the limited light from their torches, and the cold night air bit at his skin and settled into his bones. Occasionally, a gust of wind would come and threaten to blow the torches out and knock their hoods up, and Levi would tense each time the wind came.

Through the thick canopy of trees, Levi couldn’t even try to tell how much time they weaved themselves through the trees and the horses tripped on branches and stones.

A sharp pain in his hands drew him back to attention, and he cursed quietly, quickly shaking the torch out. He dropped the useless stick aside, his eyes closing as he dug into his bag for another and lit it as quickly as he could. He opened his eyes again, letting out a sigh when he could see the trees in front of him, and he nudged Fenrir on again.

He glanced back to see Arlert, Ackerman and Hange close behind him, looking around as they carefully guided their horses onwards.

As soon as they got back, Levi was kicking Erwin for his ‘bright idea’ of doing this at night.

A branch cracking- somewhere to his left- had him pulling on the reins and stopping quickly, holding up a hand to signal everyone else to stop and be quiet, grey eyes narrowing in that direction. He heard everyones sharp intake of breath as they tensed.

Nothing more came after a few moments, and Levi was beginning to let it go, when there was another crash again, much louder, much closer. The trees shook and a giant hand grabbed onto one tree, and a large face- complete with wide, insane eyes, and a drooling grin- appeared out of the darkness in front of Levi.

Fenrir reared, kicking out and letting out a loud whinny, and Levi jerked his rein to the right.

“Go right! Titan!” He barked out, and everyone was quick to jump to the right, forcing their horses through the trees.

A foot stomped down in his path, and above Levi leered another expressionless titan, pushing trees apart to reach him. He cursed, and swerved, turning right again once he got Fenrir under control.

Levi grit his teeth together and glanced over his shoulders, just making out Hange, Ackerman and Arlert chasing after him, and he could hear the titans now, chasing after them.

“Ditch the horses!” He yelled, as much as he hated it. It was too dark for the horses to see where they were going, and they were verging on frantic and panicked, rearing and kicking and tripping over roots and slamming into trees. If they stayed on the horses, they’d be dead within the next five seconds.

Levi threw himself off Fenrir, his gear hauling him up onto the branch of one tree, and until she quickly disappeared into the darkness of the forest, he watched her struggle through the trees. The other three followed his instructions, jumping onto other trees or branches near him.

How did he not hear the titans? It had been silent. There had been no signs of titans anywhere, no sound, no broken trees and a path of destruction from their bodies, not even a flash of light for a transformation. It was all but impossible for titans to be here with no trace whatsoever, and to be that quiet and that sudden. The idea that the titans might have been following them for however long, staying just outside of the torches’ light, and watching them, sent chills through Levi.

Closing his eyes quickly, Levi tried to ground himself. They needed out of this damn forest. Which way had they came? He’d turned around right twice, he knew that, they should have been heading backwards then, but had he turned more jumping off Fenrir? Had Fenrir gone the wrong way? If he turned to look left, would he be going further into the forest, or would it bring them out?

He opened his eyes in time to see a large hand making its way to him, an open mouth just behind it, and Levi jumped out of the way before its hand broke the branch he had been standing on.

“We’re getting out of here!” Levi barked, and he shifted the burning torch in his hand before he used his gear to reach for the next tree, and then the next, and the next.

He could hear the quiet hiss of everyone’s wires and gear, the thud of their anchors landing into a tree, and the crash of the titans following them, falling against trees and tripping over their own feet.

Levi risked a glance back over his shoulder at them, and wasn’t pleased to see them just out of their reach. When he turned back again, he startled and sent his anchors into the ground, harshly pulling him down just in time to avoid the gaping mouth of another titan. Before he could hit the ground, he swung around a tree and around the back of the titan he’d narrowly avoided, and he let out a low breath, shoulder sagging.

A cry jerked him back, and Levi whipped around to face the sound. _Hange,_ he thought, trying to find her through the darkness. He grit his teeth together painfully, and leapt towards where the cry had come through, reaching out with his low-burning torch.

A titan was leaning heavily against a tree as it bent down, wide, empty eyes watching Hange struggling in its hand, her arms stuck by her side in its fist, though she violently swung her legs out in a futile attempt to do something.

Levi dashed forwards, fingers tightening on the handles of his blades. Just as he neared them, the titans’ head swung around to face him, eyes narrowed. Its hand tightened around Hange, presumably, by the sound she let out, and then it flung her aside like a child bored with its’ toy. Levi had half a moment to follow her tumbling body with his eyes, before he swerved narrowly out of the titans fast hand. He spun around it and embedded his anchors into the titans shoulder, pulling himself closer and slashing its’ nape.

A crash behind him caught his attention, and he turned just in time to watch Arlert tumble down a tree with a cry and for Ackerman to catch him just in time. Steaming blood was splattered across her, and she looked around, wide eyed, until she spotted him.

“There’s more coming, captain!” She called, and Levi grit his teeth.

“Head through the thinner trees, make your way out!” He yelled back, and then he dived down for Hange. He waved the torch around as he searched, trying to spread the light out.

“Levi- over here,” she called out, her voice quiet and tense, and he hurried over to it, ignoring the nearby crash of another giant foot.

Hange had hauled herself up against a tree, one arm wrapped around her torso, and she had one leg stretched out, and a little bit of blood staining her lips.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, eying her as well as he could in the poor, flickering light.

“Probably sprained ankle, probably broken ribs, something’s up with my right arm, and I did bite my tongue a bit,” she listed breathily, tipping her head back. Levi nodded, moving to her left side, taking her arm and putting it around his shoulders.

“I knew this wasn’t a good idea,” Levi muttered, “for a damn fictional village, too. C’mon, we’re getting out of here.” Hange leaned heavily on him, and for once, she didn’t have any sarcastic or childish comments or jokes, only making little whines or loud, laboured breathing.

“I’m dragging you down, Levi,” she wheezed, her hand curling into his cloak, and Levi glared at her, “just get out of here,” she said. Levi snorted, pulling her over a root on the ground and glanced over his shoulder, and he was met with a large eye too close for comfort.

“Shut up, four-eyes. As if I’d do that,” he retorted coldly, tightening his hold on her. He let out a quiet hiss of annoyance, and then he let her go and shoved the torch into her hands.

“Go. Ackerman and Arlert headed right. Get out, find one of those brats or a horse, and get back to camp. Tell Erwin to fuck himself, or something,” he instructed, and upon her hesitation, he hardened his glare, “that’s an order, Hange.”

He turned around, his heart skipping a beat at the titan that appeared from the dark, head-first, but he forced himself forwards, throwing his blades into the titans’ eyes and jumping back.

The titan let out a guttural moan and whipped around, blindly looking around and crying blood. It swung it’s arms in an attempt to find Levi, and fell against a tree that groaned under its’ weight, and Levi zoned in on its’ nape.

Levi risked a glance back, and he could still just make out the faint light from the torch Hange was carrying, slowly staggering off into the distance. Everything else around him was all but pitch black, and Levi was, for once, grateful for his time in the Underground, if only it meant that his eyes were slightly more adjusted to the dark. If not for that, Levi didn’t doubt he wouldn’t be able to see a thing at all.

Another glowing torch joined Hange’s, and he could just make out Ackerman’s voice, questioning about Levi and then the two torches began moving again, faster this time, and Levi was glad that Ackerman had come back for Hange. Now he could focus on these titans, and watch them in case more came after them.

With narrowed eyes, Levi turned to look around, peering through the darkness. There was another titan lumbering its’ way over, forcing trees apart to reach him. This one was tall and skinny, like all the other ones in the forest, and Levi turned to face it.

As he swung towards it, Levi tried to go over what was happening. There had been no sign that titans had entered the forest, and it would be impossible for such large titans to get into this forest without _some_ kind of trace. And then they’d managed to sneak up on them- on _him._

With a clean cut to its’ nape, Levi turned quickly. It took several moments, but he could just make out the torches far off, flickering between the trees, and he began making his way over to them.

“Have any of you found which way it is out of here?” He asked once he reached their side, and Arlert, who looked tense and favoured one side, his breathing heavy and uneven, nodded.

“We’re heading that way, sir,” he informed quietly, and Levi nodded.

“Good,” he muttered. His eyes flicked to Hange who was being helped along by Ackerman, increasing her pace, luckily.

“Arlert, take a torch out and go in front,” he instructed, and the blonde nodded obediently, digging into his backpack for a torch and once he lit it, he used his gear to get in front of Hange and Ackerman, leading the way. Levi used his own gear to jump onto a branch of one of the towering trees, and he glanced around. Much to his pleasure, the trees were beginning to thin and spread out, indicating they were slowly making their way out.

His eyes roamed around, and behind them, he spotted a titan just in his sight, lumbering over towards them. He swiftly checked his blades, and then readied himself on the branch. As it came closer, another one followed behind it, and then another one, silently pushing through the trees towards him. It was probably one of the most unsettling things he’d ever experienced, seeing the titans form out of the shadows, towering and pale, grinning and silent. So silent.

“Make your way right to camp. Chances are, if Fenrir got out of here, she’s waiting nearby. She’ll come if you call for her, and you can ride her back,” Levi called over his shoulder.

“Sir, sorry, but we’re not leaving without you,” Ackerman replied, and Levi snorted.

“Of course you’re not. It’s a few titans, brat, I can handle more than a couple of titans. I’ll be right behind you. Now, go!” He snapped, and Ackerman met his gaze with a challenging one of her own. Eventually, she lowered hers and nodded, once again helping Hange forwards after Arlert.

Levi met the closest titan head on, dodging its’ long limbs to slash at its’ weak spot, and he pushed off of it as it began to fell, leaping towards the next one.

The titan raised a hand towards him, opening its’ fingers, and as Levi spun out of its’ way, he failed to notice the new hand reaching out of the darkness by his side.

It slammed against him, and Levi fell out of the air and to the ground with a sickening crack. Pain radiated through his right side, and he hardly had time to react before a cold hand had swept him off the dirty floor. A groan tore through his throat, and he blinked a few times. The one hand that wasn’t pinned to his side in the titans’ fist lifted its blade, slicing at its’ wrist furiously until it moaned eerily, casting a breath that smelled like death into his face, and dropped him.

His gear caught him with just a moment to spare, and with a push of his gas, he launched upwards and around the titan. He spun in the air, creating momentum, and cut through its’ nape, and then he turned to the next.

This one watched him curiously, slumped over and holding onto a tree. It hardly even moved when Levi used a tree to turn himself around, heading straight for it. Even when he cut into its’ nape, it just watched him until it fell with its’ face into the ground and began steaming.

The other two were closing in together, and as Levi pushed down the throbbing pain in his right side, he began strafing back to where Hange and Ackerman and Arlert had been going.

The titans, like obedient little mutts, staggered after him, drooling and digging their fingers into the trees to pull themselves through them.

He landed on a tree branch, turning to face the titans and heaving a shuddering breath, his ribs pushing painfully against the binder tight around his chest.

As the titans lumbered forwards, Levi’s eyes flicked between the two. Again, they were similar to all the others- at the least nine metres tall, pale skinned and sharp-toothed, dark greasy hair hanging from their heads. Almost comically thin and bony, yet surprisingly strong.

With a grunt, Levi threw his anchors forwards into a tree next to one of them, projecting himself through the air. He spun as he flew forwards, gripping tightly onto his blades, the sharp material slicing through its’ thin skin of its’ arm and shoulder. He spun back to look at its’ nape as he passed it, embedded his anchors in its’ back, and aimed for the death spot on it.

A foot away from his goal, the bony hand of said titan reached back, grabbing him around his hips and thighs, and pulled him around to look at him, its jaw slacked and cold breaths hitting against his face and blowing his hair back. Then, it tightened its hand violently, and he saw black spots flicker in his vision.

A pale tongue dashed across the titans’ chapped lips, and it cocked its’ head to the side, watching Levi squirm painfully.

 _“Le…vi…”_ It groaned, its’ voice sounding like a hoarse whisper lost in the wind.

He didn’t have time to react to it speaking, saying his god damn name, before he was launched through the air and collided against something- a tree, the floor, another titan, who knew- and the taunting darkness drowned him.


	6. Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter today! As always, I hope you enjoy it!

“Hange, how are you feeling?” Mikasa asked, slowly dropping down from one tree and onto the floor. Ahead of them was endless grassy plains, blessedly with very few, much smaller trees.

“I’ve been better,” Hange grunted, slipping her arm from Mikasa’s shoulders and attempting to hold herself up. “I’ll be fine, though. We just need to get back to camp quickly,” she assured her.

A distressed whinny from their right caught Mikasa’s attention, and they turned to see a familiar dark mare, trotting in circles and pawing the ground, shaking her head.

“Is that really…” Armin murmured, trailing off, and Hange laughed softly.

“Levi’s horse is as stubborn as he is,” she snorted, but then turned to look back into the darkness beneath the trees. Levi wasn’t with them.

“He’ll be just behind us,” she said quietly, and turned to look at the horse, bracing herself on Mikasa’s shoulder.

“Oi! Fenrir!” She called, waving one hand. The mare turned her head to look at them, her nostrils flaring, but she seemed to recognise the three of them and began trotting over to them, her tail swishing.

She stopped just in front of them, seeming to look around for a specific person, before dropping her head. “Armin, get that saddle off her,” Hange said, and the blonde startled but quickly nodded, hurrying forwards. He was hesitant to get near the horse after their first encounter before they left the walls, but Fenrir hardly even moved as he undid the girth and then pulled the saddle off of her. At Hange’s gesture, he dropped it to the side.

Hange hobbled over to her side with Mikasa’s help and ran her hands over her flank, pursing her lips.

“We’re slim, she’ll hold us,” she muttered. “Armin, up you go,” she urged, and once the blonde was on the horses’ back, she reached up to haul herself up. Mikasa’s watched her lips tighten in discomfort, and she reached around to help boost her onto the horse.

“Are you sure it’s alright for all of us to be on her?” Mikasa questioned, and Hange shrugged. Fenrir turned her head to look at Mikasa, softly neighing and nudging her.

“The ride back will be quick,” Hange said, and Mikasa hesitated a moment before she nodded. She reached up and pulled herself onto the horses’ back, slipping in behind Hange, and Hange urged Armin to pick up the reins and lead them off.

As they rode, Mikasa tried to ignore the idea that they had left Levi behind- the Captain was dubbed _Humanity’s Strongest_ for a reason. He would be fine and as soon as they got back to camp and made sure Hange and Armin got medical attention, she’d come back with a horse and meet him walking back.

Fenrir’s long legs ate up the ground as they rode through the night, and Mikasa leaned back into her smooth stride, one hand subconsciously resting on Hange’s waist to support the injured woman. Her eyes roamed upwards to the cloudy night sky, watching the few stars shining bright above her between the dark clouds.

“Uh, Hange? The camp…” Armin spoke up, voice quiet and hesitant. Mikasa looked down to him around Hange, and then looked forwards. In the distance, where the camp should be, was a mess of flickering flames licking up into the night sky.

“Shit,” Hange spat, her shoulders tensing. “Get closer, we need to check it out,” she ordered, and Armin shakily nodding, nudging Fenrir faster.

The smoke in the air around the camp was thick and burned her throat as they got nearer, and as soon as they got close enough, Mikasa jumped off Fenrir, catching her balance quickly and running into the camp. It seemed everyone was gone- most carts were gone, save for a few, and there were a few burnt sleeping bags outside. Mikasa just assumed that everyone had tried to pack up quickly and dropped it as they left.

She held an arm over her mouth as she went towards the building she’d been slipping in only a few hours ago, and narrowed her eyes as she looked around the mess inside. There were a few supplies still left inside, burning away, but there weren’t any bodies, at least. After being sure of that, she ducked back outside, coughing a few times and waving her hand in front of her face.

“Everyone must have gotten out,” she called to Hange, and the brunette nodded, gripping Fenrir’s reins and looking around, obviously trying to figure out what had happened.

Mikasa began towards their make-shift stables. There were a lot of discarded saddles and supplies for the horses, most obviously having just been hopped onto to quickly escape, and there were little dips in the ground from horses’ hooves.

A clatter to her left had her turning around sharply, only to be greeted with a single horse who had been left around, its’ lead rope still tied to a post. It had gotten as far from the slow flames at the stable as it could, and was thrashing its’ head roughly to try and pull the rope free to no avail.

Mikasa ran over to it, hands out and voice steady despite the eye-watering smoke around her, and then she swiftly untied the horses’ rope and lead it quickly away from the flames in the stables.

“Armin, how’s your ribs?” Hange asked, and the blonde, who had slid off Fenrir as they approached, glanced up, his hand drifting over his side.

“Sore, but I think it’s only bruising,” he replied, voice slightly muffled with his over hand over it. Hange nodded, pursing her lips.

“Mikasa, Armin, take that horse and go back for Levi. I’d be useless following you guys if you ran into any trouble. As soon as you have him, if you can, make your way back to the emergency rendezvous point we planned for this trip- remember, the little cabin houses to the east- and meet me there. I need to make sure everyone else got back there. I’ll tell them that Levi is… is MIA,” she ordered, her voice quietening towards the end. Mikasa nodded obediently, quickly saluting and then gesturing for Armin to come over. She pulled herself onto the horse she was still holding, and then grabbed Armin’s hand and helped pull him onto the horse.

“Don’t put yourselves in more danger,” Hange told them, levelling them with a strict gaze, and Mikasa nodded.

“We’ll meet you soon,” she said. Hange watched the two of them, before nodding and turning Fenrir around. At the same time, Mikasa nudged the new horse on, back towards the forest they’d just came from.

“What do you think happened?” Armin asked from over her shoulder, and Mikasa pursed her lips.

“The fire was strongest where everyone had been sleeping,” she stated, “and we did have a fire in there. But it was burning way too low to do that. It looked like it had been set on purpose,” she admitted, and Armin didn’t reply. Save for the horses hooves or occasional cough, it was silent.

The dark forest slowly drew nearer and nearer, towering trees coldly greeting them. Mikasa had gotten more on edge as they drew closer and never found Levi walking back like she’d expected, and she stopped trying to convince herself that everything was fine when the trees came into her view.

Despite the chaos that had happened only a short while ago, it was eerily silent. No traces of titans whatsoever, no sign of the other two horses, and no Levi leaning against a tree with a sarcastic “took your time” to greet them with. Only Fenrir’s saddle they’d ditched as they left.

“Do we go inside?” Armin asked in a quiet murmur, and Mikasa eyed the dark trees. She slid off the horse, urging Armin to do so too.

“Do you have any torches left? We’ll look around the outside, and then go in a little bit to look for him. Maybe we even missed him, and he’s still on his way back. In that case, we’ll go back to the rendezvous after heading back to the first camp in case he is heading back. Unless he found one of the horses, then he’ll be on foot and we’ll catch him,” she said calmly, and Armin nodded.

Armin searched his backpack until he pulled a torch out of it and lit it quickly while Mikasa tied the horses’ lead rope to a low tree branch. Then, they began walking around the outside of the forest, peering around and just inside the trees. Still, nothing, but thankfully that also meant that there was, currently, no titans coming for them.

Mikasa took the torch from Armin’s hands, leading the way into the trees and waving it out in front of them to light the way. The flickering flames around the trees cast eerie shadows dancing the corners of her vision, and Mikasa forced herself to ignore it.

Armin stuck close to her, on edge and tense but looking around thoroughly, occasionally stopping Mikasa whenever he thought he saw something.

Mikasa was torn between wondering if they really had missed Levi or if they would have to go back alone, changing Levi’s MIA to a presumably KIA.

“Mikasa- wait,” Armin said, gripping her arm and stopping her as she kept looking. She turned to the direction Armin was facing, stretching out her arm with the torch until it casted more light.

Sure enough, where Armin had been looking was a dark bundle on the floor by a tree, and as they got nearer, the lump turned to limbs and a Survey Corps cloak and short, dark hair. Levi was laying on his stomach, his previously white clothes now dark with dirt and blood, and blood was staining the bark of the tree he was at the bottom of, as if he had slid all the way down it.

Mikasa slid to her knees with Armin, looking around to make sure there were no titans nearby despite the evidence of crushed trees and, well, Levi.

Mikasa leaned over to him, listening for a moment, fearing that they might have been too late. Then, quietly, she could hear his breaths- short and sharp, but still there.

“Take this, I’ll get him,” Mikasa said, handing the torch to Armin, and then she turned to the Captain. Her eyes roamed over him, seeking out what she could see from this angle. The hair on the back of his head was matted with drying blood, and obviously his breathing was too uneven, sharp and painful, and when she looked further down, her lips tightened into a frown. On his left thigh was a gushing wound, and it looked almost as if he’d been impaled on something that had gone right through his leg before being torn back out. That’s when she noticed the thin, but long, bloody branch a foot away from him.

Carefully, Mikasa turned him over onto his back, shifting his leg gently. His clothes were torn slightly, and the most blood seemed to be coming from the wound in his leg. There was a small trickle of dried blood down the corner of his mouth, and Mikasa wasn’t hopeful about the state of his ribs with the sound of his breathing. One of his blades had fallen underneath him, and resulted in a long, deep gash along his lower stomach and hip, and upon being moved slightly, dark droplets of blood began to flow from it again.

It was uneasy seeing Levi like this. So vulnerable compared to what he usually was like that it threw her off. She didn’t like seeing him like that, and wished he would just sit up and call her a brat so she could go back to comfortably disliking it.

“What happened?” Armin muttered in shock, shuffling closer and pulling off his cloak to place it against the wound on his stomach. Mikasa hurried to tie it around him, and then looked to the wound in his leg. That’d cause a big problem if they couldn’t get him back to rendezvous immediately for help. That was also ignoring the rain that had begun to leak through the trees, that was sure to only get worse.

“These titans were weird,” Mikasa commented, shaking her head, “they didn’t look or act like the usual ones. As if they were all abnormal, or just a completely different kind of titan altogether,” she mused quietly, and Armin watched her for a moment. He nodded, before getting to his feet.

“We-we need to get him back,” he said as firmly as he could, and Mikasa pursed her lips and nodded. She tried to shove down the awkwardness of the idea about carrying her superior, someone who seemed invincible, and began to carefully pull his limp body up, putting an arm around his shoulders. She was aware of his leg as she pulled him off the ground, as well as she was reminded at just how _small_ he was. While he certainly wasn’t as ‘small’ as some people exaggerated- he was still an adult veteran, after all - he was slim and lean and short, and if not for the weight on him from his well-built muscles, it would’ve felt like carrying a child. Though, she’d probably not say that if he was near.

Armin led the way out of the forest with the torch illuminating the way out, and Mikasa tried her best not to trip over any tree roots as they hastily got back to the horse waiting where she’d left it.

The rain was much heavier out of the cover of the trees, and Armin was eager to get onto the horse quickly since his cloak was tied around Levi. Armin got onto the front of the horse and helped pull Levi onto it, and then Mikasa sat at the back, balancing Levi between the two of them.

Armin urged the horse on quickly, ducking his head down against the rain that only got progressively worse.

“Mikasa,” he called over the sound of thunder and pouring rain, turning to look at her over his shoulder. She’d pulled both hers and Levi’s hood up, and was holding Levi in place carefully. She was partly glad and partly worried that he was still unconscious.

“The ride back to camp is an hour at least, and the ride to rendezvous is further. Even without this weather, I wouldn’t exactly call it a smart move to keep riding with Levi like this. We already left him like this to ride to camp and back,” he stated, hair falling across his soft eyes.

Mikasa pressed her lips together, looked down to the Captain limp against her chest, Armin’s cloak already stained with his blood, and then she looked back up and around them.

“There’s… There should be a house nearby- a little cabin. Head South a bit,” she instructed, her voice slightly quieter. Armin just nodded, turning the horse in that direction and urging her faster.

It wasn’t long before they came upon the house Mikasa had said- a little cabin that had been abandoned for years. To the side of it was a little hut- probably an old shed- with its’ first wall knocked down, and Armin guided the horse into that as a makeshift stable. He slid off the horse first, and helped slowly ease Levi off of it until Mikasa came down as well. Together they carried the Captain as they hurried towards the cabin door, and Mikasa nudged it open with her foot.

Inside was dusty, showing obviously that no one had been here in ages. The furnishing and décor around the house was homey and gave a welcoming, family vibe. The curtains around the windows had been pulled closed, and there was still wood in the fire.

Mikasa and Armin brought Levi further into the house and carefully lowered him on the sofa inside the house. Armin hurried back to close the door, blocking out the sound of heavy rain and thunder, and then he hurried back. There were trails of water following them everywhere, dripping down them and creating little puddles on the floor.

Mikasa quickly shed her soaked cloak and took Levi’s off as well, draping them over the back of two chairs by a table.

Armin busied himself with using the dry wood in the fire and some paper around to start a fire, letting out a sigh of relief as soon as it took and didn’t go out.

“How did you know about this place?” Armin asked, shivering by the fire.

Mikasa looked over to the blonde, watching water drip off his face, before turning to look away.

“This used to be my house, years ago, before I moved in with Eren,” she stated quietly, running her fingers through her hair and pushing it behind her ears. Armin’s lips parted silently, before he just said “oh” and closed his mouth again, nodding.

“We’ll need to get him dry quickly- and we really need to deal with that branch. We probably should have before we first moved him, but I thought it best we got out of there,” Mikasa said, swiftly changing the subject, and Armin nodded.

“Right, yeah. Do we have any towels or dry clothes left here?” He asked. Mikasa leaned down to begin unlacing her boots, setting them aside, and then pointed towards one door.

“The bathroom probably has a few towels in there. I’ll fetch them if you want to get clothes- my… My parents bedroom. You and Levi can use a pair of his clothes,” she said, keeping her voice steady as she spoke about her parents, and thankfully, Armin nodded, hurrying off towards the room she had pointed to after also taking his shoes off.

Mikasa ducked into the bathroom, grabbing the towels and shaking dust off of them. Then, she snatched the medical supplies still in the bathroom, and hurried back to Levi, unsurprisingly still in the same spot as moments ago.

Armn came out then as well, dressed in her fathers clothes that were much too big for him but blessedly dry, and holding a bundle of new clothes for her and Levi. She set the towels and medical supplies down on the coffee table in front of the occupied sofa and took the clothes from Armin, while he took on of the towels, quickly drying his skin and hair slightly with it.

Mikasa simply turned her back as she began undoing the straps to her uniform, and then slid out of the clingy clothing, robotically pulling on her mothers’ dress that fit her much better than it had when she was a kid. She knew Armin was too bashful to dare looking anywhere lower than her shoulders.

Done, she turned back to see Armin, sure enough, bright red and gently towelling Levi’s hair dry.

“We’ll start with that wound on his head,” Mikasa said, picking up the bandages on the coffee table, and Armin nodded hastily. They moved Levi enough to get a look at the back of his head, and Mikasa gently prodded at the matted blood in his hair. At least it had dried mostly, and seemed to have stopped bleeding.

At her request, Armin filled a bowl with water from an untouched bottle and set it beside her, and she dabbed the corner of a towel into the water and began gently combing the blood out of Levi’s hair.

When it was finally clean, she pushed the short hair apart to get a look at the wound. It was a short but deep-ish gash, already swelling, and Mikasa began to put some padding against it before bandaging it firmly. Then they moved him back into a more comfortable position.

“It’s odd, isn’t it?” Armin asked, and Mikasa looked up at him, raising an eyebrow.

“Seeing Captain Levi like this. It’s odd. He’s always been so strong and even when he hurt his ankle with the Female Titan, he didn’t even tell anyone and walked through the walls and back to HQ on it. And that’s the only time we’ve seen him hurt, and he didn’t even show it,” he mused, and Mikasa pursed her lips.

“He’s a stubborn git. I’m sure if he was conscious he’d be trying to stitch that wound himself,” she retorted, and Armin frowned gently.

“You know, he’s not as bad as you think he is. It’s because of him that Eren didn’t get handed over to the Military Police and most likely killed. He works with me individually on my sparring and he cracks a ton of jokes, albeit pretty vulgar ones,” he stated, and Mikasa refrained from rolling her eyes.

“He never had to do that to Eren to that extent, though. And he humiliated you in front of everyone,” she stated.

“But it proved his point, both to the Military Police, and to us. Eren can’t always control himself as a titan. Having Levi prove he’s more than capable of being able to diffuse the situation, even as a point to the Military Police, is what we need. And yeah, he did, but it worked, and he even said he didn’t mean it,” Armin responded, softening his tone when he felt it might begin to edge on an argument.

Mikasa let her shoulders slump. “I don’t forgive him for what he’s done,” she simply said, “he’ll have to be the one to change my opinion,” she shrugged, and Armin simply nodded.

“Just keep an open mind about him. He’s not as bad as you think,” he relented, and then they began to scan over his injuries.

“We’ll have to get him out of those soaking clothes before he gets ill,” she murmured, and Armin’s cheeks flushed softly. Mikasa leaned for the knife on the table she’d brought out, and began to carefully cut around the wound in his thigh. She cut it off that leg and helped Armin undo the straps of his gear.

She ignored the awkwardness that came back as she stripped the bloody and torn pants off him, and for modesty’s sake, draped one of the towels across his lap, noting the small stain of blood on the tip of his boxers from the wound, which looked even more ghastly and grotesque without clothes to block the sight.

His leg was stained with dry and fresh blood trickling from both exit and entry wounds, and there were a few droplets now staining the sofa under his leg. Mikasa wasn’t exactly excited on stitching that closed. Trying to delay that, she turned to the bloodstained shirt, pushing it up past the wound along his stomach and hip. It was sluggishly dripping a few drops of blood down his stomach and sides, and Mikasa sighed.

“Armin, take his shirt off, please,” she requested, moving to get the towel she’d designated as the cleaning towel, and she dipped another bit of it in water, squeezing the excess out. She first began with gently cleaning the blood at his thigh, propping his leg up to easier see both sides.

“Uh- Mikasa…” Armin said gently, getting her attention and she looked over at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes, Armin?” She asked, and his eyes flicked down to a now-shirtless Levi- except, he wasn’t completely shirtless. Around his chest was what looked like a tank top, or something, and peaking around the sides of it, mainly around his ribs, were the bruises she’d seen before they’d left the walls- and then some, presumably from his encounter with the titans.

She cocked her head to the side slightly, shuffling further up. Was it some kind of bandaging? The bruises she’d seen certainly looked uncomfortable, but not enough to warrant bandaging, or support.

Hesitantly, her hands reached out, picking at the hem of the- thing- and she slipped the tips of her fingers under it, gently pulling it. While a part of her felt incredibly invasive, she could feel how tight and constricted it was around his chest, and with the way his chest rose and fell unevenly and each breath came with a high wheezing sound didn’t make Mikasa feel comfortable letting that restrictive band stay on.

“Help me get him out of this,” she told Armin, deciding to push down her confusion at whatever the thing actually was, and carefully the two began to wriggle the thing off of Levi, which proved to be much harder than they had anticipated. When it finally came over his head, Armin folded it and set it on the coffee table, and then joined Mikasa’s eyes at staring at what it had been hiding.

For a moment, neither of the two said anything, completely thrown, before Mikasa ran her hand along the dark bruising around the ribs.

“Well, I don’t think Levi will be happy when he wakes up and we know, but he’s breathing much better without that shirt already. Help me get the other shirt on him,” Mikasa said, schooling her face, and Armin, face red and eyes utterly conflicted, nodded obediently and reached for one of her dads old shirts. Like it was on Armin, the shirt was much too loose and large on Levi, but it at least would give him more comfort than what he’d been wearing previously, and it was easier to just lift up and see the gash along his stomach.

Silently, Mikasa began to clean up the wound, gently washing off the blood dripping from it and clinging to the dark hair on his stomach.

“What do we say?” Armin asked quietly, and Mikasa didn’t look up. She had been thinking the same thing, but she just shook her head.

“Nothing. We say nothing. We obviously were never supposed to find out, and he’s never corrected us. So, we see what he says when he wakes up, and respect whatever he says,” she decided, and Armin looked back down at Levi, before he nodded.

“And anyway, it’ll be fine. He’ll be too weak when he wakes up to kill us,” she shrugged, and heard Armin’s nervous laugh.

When she was finished with the cleaning, she reached for the stitches she’d pulled out, and looked down at Levi with a frown. She stood up, wandering around the kitchen opening cupboards, until she pulled out a bottle alcohol from one of the cupboards, and she returned to kneeling by Levi.

“Let’s just hope he doesn’t wake up now,” Mikasa muttered, and swiftly began to sterilise one of the needles.

She saw Armin reach out to grip Levi’s upper arms, and she wondered briefly if they should swap places, but decided to settle for the hope he just wouldn’t fully wake up- he was still shaking from the cold and slightly wet, and Mikasa wouldn’t be surprised if he’d gotten an infection from being outside for at least two hours in this condition, only worsened by the bad weather too.

She began stitching the wound on his stomach slowly and carefully, trying to go as painlessly as she could, but with the way he twitched and his breathing picked up slightly, she knew it wasn’t much.

Much to her pleasure, he didn’t actually wake up, though he was certainly more close to consciousness than he had been.

She quickly moved onto the wounds in his thigh, and she’d finished the entry wound first and moved onto stitching the exit wound, when a hoarse scream tore past Levi’s lips, and he lashed out with, thankfully, his other leg. Mikasa managed to pin it down with one of her arms, putting her weight on it as she focused on the stitching and Armin held his arms down.

When she glanced up, she could see his eyes half lidded, sweat creating a sheen on his forehead and sticking his hair to his forehead, and his hands had curled into fists, gripping the sofa with white knuckles.

“Just a bit longer,” she muttered, and she wasn’t overly sure if she meant it to herself, to Armin, or to Levi.

She worked around Levi’s delirious protests, finishing up the stitching faster now, and she was quick to cut the excess off and happily be done with the stitches. Both Armin and Levi seemed to agree, both slumping in relief.

Mikasa set the stitches aside, getting to her feet once more and leaning over Levi’s face. “Captain?” She prodded, gently shaking his shoulder as she watched his foggy grey eyes stare right through her, and then promptly roll back into his head.

She sighed softly and went back to her knees, reaching for the last of the bandages and finishing her work on the bandages and then finally slipping her fathers’ old pants onto him, tying them with the string around his hips to hold them up.

With a heavy sigh of relief, she sat back on her heels and closed her eyes.

“Help me get him into a bed,” she asked Armin after a few moments, and the two heaved themselves to their feet and carefully began picking him up once more. She guided the way to what used to be her bedroom, with faded pastel lilac walls, a framed painting of a bird on one wall, a small bed with dusty pink sheets, dolls and a couple of old teddy’s and a hand-made dresser with flowers painted onto it in the corner.

Mikasa forced herself to push down the wave of emotions it brought up, and focused on quickly dusting the bed as she set Levi down, and then shook the thick blanket clear of dust. She pulled the blanket over him and then took a step back.

 _Humanity’s Strongest in a little girl’s bedroom- comfortably fitting in her bed- and happily cuddling into pink flowery bedsheets_ she thought with a silent snort.

“We might as well try and get some rest too. Hopefully the rain stops and we can go and gather some water and food around here in the morning- my mother, we used to keep a garden. There might still be plants growing fruit out here,” she said to Armin, and the blonde dragged his eyes away from the unconscious Captain. He gave a soft nod, and then followed Mikasa out of her old bedroom, closing the door silently behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this part! If you did, feel free to leave a comment- I love interacting with you guys and hearing your opinions and reactions and feedback!


	7. Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this part! Another long one.  
> I'm thinking of taking part in Kinktober with Eruri, so keep an eye open for those being uploaded!

Mikasa woke up to light streaming in through a gap in the curtains of a window, and she lifted herself up with a grunt. A few cracks came from when she rolled her head around, and then stretched her arms up above her head. She had been tempted to just use the bed in her parents bedroom, or at least bring the mattress into the living room, but she couldn’t even bring herself to go into the room. Being here at all was hard enough, and having to wear her mother’s dress and see Armin and Levi in her father’s clothes weren’t helping any.

She looked over to Armin, still fast asleep on the other chair, and she got to her feet and walked towards a window to peer outside. The rain had stopped while they slept, but obviously not right away, and the sky was still dark and cloudy with only a few breaks. Realising it would probably begin to rain again soon, Mikasa let out a quiet sigh. At the very least, there didn’t seem to be any titans around.

She left the window, walking over to Armin. The fire had died off as they slept, and when she ran a hand over their cloaks, they were dry. She looked at the blood stains on Levi and Armin’s cloaks with distaste, wondering if she would be able to wash out the blood out of them. She walked towards the door leading to her old bedroom, gently shaking Armin as she walked past until she heard him moan and sit up.

Quietly, she opened the door to her bedroom and stepped inside, finding the small bed in the corner of the room. Barely visible above the thick pink sheet was the mop of dark hair just poking out of it. Levi had barely moved from the position Mikasa and Armin had set him in, though the bed sheets had been pulled up around him more, almost completely hiding the small man from view.

She held back a quiet laugh at him, silently walking over and slipping her hand through the tangle of sheets he’d pressed his face into, and gently placed her hand against his forehead. Much like she’d expected, his forehead was hot and clammy, though small tremors ran through his body and his hands clutched the soft sheets tightly.

She tried to focus solely on checking his condition, though she couldn’t help the flood of questions that came with seeing him again. Half of her hoped that he just stayed asleep until they could get him back to Commander Erwin or Hange, who she assumed probably knew- hell, she assumed Hange had been the one to make that shirt for him- so that she didn’t have to deal with any of it and could just ignore the entire thing, but half of her knew that if he actually didn’t wake up in the time it took them to get him back to the rest of the group, then there was a serious problem. The Survey Corps- hell, humanity- couldn’t afford losing Levi.

She opened the window in the room slightly to let more air in, but didn’t bother trying to peel the bedsheets off him in his death grip, and she left the bedroom door open slightly once she left.

“How is he?” Armin asked tiredly, sitting on the sofa with his hair pushed back.

“Still asleep and hardly visible under the bedsheet, if that’s an indication of how he’s feeling in itself,” she snorted. “We’ll let him sleep a while longer- we might as well go out and try and find food and get some water while it’s dry,” Mikasa said, and Armin nodded sluggishly before pushing himself off the couch.

“Will he be alright here alone?” He asked hesitantly as they headed to the door, and Mikasa glanced to her bedroom.

“I doubt he’ll wake up yet,” she stated with a shrug, and Armin nodded. Mikasa led the way outside.

Grass squelched under their feet, and Mikasa worried that, even if her mother’s garden had survived, then the rain from last night would have destroyed it.

Much to her pleasure, though- when they rounded the side of the house, there were still the sectioned off pots and soil and small fruit trees and plants bearing fruit and herbs, though there were also the remains of some that had been destroyed by the weather and negligence.

Mikasa silently began to pick off the fruit and herbs that were there, handing them to Armin to carry. There were little berries that were ripe enough to take- delicate raspberries and strawberries- and then apples and oranges hanging from trees. There was basil and elderberry, hyssop, marigold, and watercress, and Mikasa didn’t hesitate when carefully taking honey from a nearby old beehive.

With their arms full of fruit and herbs and honey, the two hurried back inside to deposit it, before Mikasa left the cabin again with Armin hurrying after her, heading towards the well. Trusting that the wood in the well hadn’t rot away, she lowered one of the buckets down until it disappeared under the water, and then she lifted it back out.

“We should probably try washing the blood out of your cloaks. The weather still doesn’t look promising much and I’d rather not have to worry about getting Levi to wear a bloody and dirty cloak,” Mikasa stated, glancing briefly back to Armin who nodded in agreement, obviously not too keen on the idea of wearing a dirty cloak either.

He helped her carry in a couple of buckets of fresh water, setting them on the dusty kitchen counters. “Armin, I’m going to go out and see if I can find some more good wood for the fire- we’ll probably be here for a few more days with Levi’s state. If you wouldn’t mind, can you start washing the cloaks? There’s probably a bar of soap around the kitchen or bathroom,” she asked, and Armin raised an eyebrow before he nodded.

“Uh- yeah, sure, no problem,” he agreed, and Mikasa flashed him a soft smile before she turned around, exiting the cabin once more.

With a sigh, Armin turned to the buckets of water in front of him. He wandered into the bathroom, rummaging around the cupboards until he found a round, floral-smelling bar of soap. He brought it back out to the kitchen, and picked up one of the cloaks.

He busied himself by thoroughly cleaning the first cloak until the blood had been washed out of it, and then he set it on the back of a chair and took the next dirty cloak, scrubbing the cloak thoroughly and getting out all the grime and dirt and blood out of it. When it was finally clean, and the water in the bucket had turned into a murky, dirty colour, he laid it out on the back of a chair again. He heaved the heavy bucket of water off the kitchen counter and stumbled over to the door, nudging it open and walking a few paces away before he dumped the dirty water out and put the bucket back beside the well.

He gave an anxious glance around the place, half-expecting to see a titan peering at him from over the cabin, but there didn’t seem to be any nearby, much to his relief.

He quickly headed back inside, kicking his muddy shoes off just by the door, and closed it behind him.

He hadn’t gotten a good look at the cabin when they first came in, hauling Levi inside and hurrying to do their best to take care of Levi’s wounds. A grimace twitched his lips when he remembered the dazed look on his face when he’d momentarily woken up from the pain, the rough scream that’d torn his throat. It really felt unsettling seeing Levi in such a state.

Reminded once more of the Captain, Armin turned to look at the slightly ajar bedroom door, and he began to quietly step towards it.

He gently nudged it open, taking in the colourful bedroom that he could hardly believe once belonged to Mikasa, and he stepped inside. His eyes roamed the dark room- the lilac walls, the little shelves with trinkets and toys on them, the dark purple curtains that blocked most light from the window out and blew gently in the wind from the open window- before falling on the bed in the corner. Just like Mikasa had said earlier, Levi had all but buried himself in the pink blankets, only a single hand and his dark hair visible, and Armin felt his lips twitch up. It felt so utterly wrong to see the Captain like this, but also terribly endearing. It made Levi feel so much more human and just seeing him like this made Armin feel more comfortable thinking about him- as if he’d broken through some of the taboos surrounding him.

He quietly crossed the room and reached down to gently place a hand against his forehead, and then grimaced and pulled it back. Despite the way Levi was shivering and how the window let in a cold breeze, his forehead was burning hot and clammy to the touch. He stood there for a moment, debating on whether or not he should attempt to take the blanket from Levi, when he heard the door open.

“Armin?” Mikasa called quietly, and he scurried out of the bedroom.

“I was just, ah, checking on Captain Levi,” he explained, and hurried to her side when he saw her carrying a large stack of firewood. She was slightly wet, and when Armin glanced over her shoulder and out the door before she closed it with her heel, he could see a light shower of rain beginning again. He helped take some of the firewood from her, and carried it over to the fireplace.

“He’s still out, but he’s still burning hot,” he told her, and Mikasa hummed in acknowledgement, nodding. She set a couple of pieces of wood in the fireplace, threw a few coals from the half-empty coal bucket beside it, and ripped a few pages from a book on the coffee table to throw onto it, before she began to light it.

“Sorry I took so long. I checked on the horse- he’s still outside, and I gave him some food and water. I also found some small snares in the shed with him and I set them about the woods where I got the firewood, so hopefully we’ll have more than some fruit to eat later,” she informed, and Armin raised his eyebrows just as his stomach growled and cheeks got red.

“Exactly,” Mikasa replied jokingly, “so have some of the fruit now, I’ll go back out to check the traps at sundown.” As the fire began to take, she rose to her feet and began unlacing her muddy boots, setting them aside, and then went over to the bucket of water still in the kitchen. She found a mug from a cupboard and used it to scoop some water from the bucket, washing her hands with it over the sink, and then she rummaged around until she pulled out a metal pot, and began scooping water into that. She returned to the fire with the pot full of water, and she suspended it over the fire with a couple of little poles and hooks at each side of the fireplace.

“He didn’t wake up at all?” She asked, and Armin shook his head, leaned back against the wall beside the fire and silently prayed for it to hurry up.

“Not at all. I’ve not heard a sound from the room, and he doesn’t seemed to have moved much either,” he said, and Mikasa only responded with a sigh.

“It’ll be much easier to deal with once he wakes up, but I don’t want to be waiting out here for days for that to happen,” she said, “I’d prefer to regroup with everyone else, but unless they manage to find us out here, then I highly doubt we’ll do that. For all we know, they’ll retreat back to the walls after a day or two.”

“Hange will have reached them, and she’ll say what we’re doing- finding Levi, and then coming back to rendezvous,” Armin assured, “they’ll wait or they’ll come nearby- we’re on the way back to the forest, so we’d surely notice if they rode close,” he said, forcing his voice steady. Of course the idea that they’d be left and assumed KIA was strong in the back of his head, or the idea that Levi wouldn’t even wake up for another few days- or ever- and so many more doubts, but he tried to keep a positive attitude. They’d help Levi recover as quickly as possible, and he’d know what best to do.

Mikasa watched Armin for a moment longer before she turned towards the slowly heating water, pressing her lips together.

“We should probably check his stitches soon,” she stated, and Armin nodded in agreement, reaching for one of the apples on the coffee table and biting into it.

“Do you think, if he wakes up, he’d be able to eat something?” Armin asked, swallowing down a bite of his apple. Mikasa shrugged, watching the water in the pot begin to bubble.

“Depends. We’ll have to see how he feels when he wakes up. I can make some tea with some of the herbs we got that should help his stomach and with pain, but I can’t tell how he’ll be when he wakes up other than in pain,” she replied, and Armin took another bite out of the apple.

When the water had finally boiled for a while, Mikasa carefully took it away from the fire and set it on the kitchen counter, finding another mug from a cupboard and carefully scooped hot water out in it. She waited silently for a few minutes to cool before reaching for some herbs and dropping a few into the water, watching them swirl in the water.

She moved on to rummage around for a moment longer before pulling out a bowl that had a few small chips in it. She filled it with cold water from the original bucket, and on the way to her bedroom, she snatched one of the towels she’d brought out. Armin hurried after her, stepping quietly as they got closer to a sleeping Levi.

The room was somewhat cold with the window still being open, the window sill speckled with rain drops, and Levi hadn’t moved from where he was huddled under the blankets.

“Do we just… Pull it off?” Armin asked in a hushed tone, and Mikasa pressed her lips together thoughtfully, setting the bowl of water and towel on the floor beside them.

“Guess so,” she shrugged, and they both fell silent as she reached over to the hand closest to them and began to carefully pry his fingers off the blanket. She managed to successfully get his hand off it and then pushed the blanket aside slowly. Levi’s shivering increased once the blanket was pushed away from him, despite the visible beads of sweat on his face, and the way his hair clung to his forehead.

Arming grimaced slightly, and dabbed the end of it into the bowl of water, handing it to Mikasa, and she gently dabbed it across his forehead. She pushed his hair back with her fingertips and then moved down. She pushed up the baggy shirt enough to see the bandages over the stitches, and she carefully began undoing the bandages and moving them away.

While her stitching wasn’t exactly a doctor’s level, she thought she had done a fairly good job regardless. The skin around was slightly discoloured, red and slightly puffy, and she gently dabbed around it with the cool water. Levi’s face had tensed up slightly, and his chest was rising and falling with fast, uneven breaths.

For a while, she just continued to check over the wound on his stomach, cleaning it gently, before she bandaged it back up again and glanced down at his thigh. Armin shuffled closer, and the two began to shimmy his pants down enough to see the stitched wound, angrily-red. Mikasa sighed at the unpromising redness, and redipped a part of the towel into the water. Her fingers barely brushed over the skin of his thigh when his breath loudly caught in his throat, and for a moment she thought she’d accidentally hurt him, but his reaction only further as he jumped away from her and Armin, pressing against the wall away from them, pulling his legs to him despite the pain it obviously brought him.

While she was happy to see his eyes open, the sweat-soaked hair falling across them while they were bloodshot and took a moment to focus on them made her less enthusiastic. His nostrils flared and his chest heaved with heavy, ragged sounding breaths, and one of his hands slid under the pillow behind him as if searching for something. When it was revealed that there was nothing under the pillow, his eyes widened further and he balled his hand into a fist, clutching the sheet beneath him.

His eyes were stuck on Mikasa, seemingly completely oblivious to Armin’s presence.

“Get out,” he rasped, his dazed eyes poorly imitating a glare, and Mikasa shared a confused look with Armin.

“Captain-“

“Don’t- don’t fucking talk to me,” Levi snapped, and Mikasa quickly closed her mouth. His eyes flicked briefly down to where her hand was on the bed close to his leg, and his nostrils flared.

“Get the… Get the fuck away from me,” he hissed, and Mikasa lifted her hands slowly, watching the way he watched her. She slowly lifted herself to her feet, taking slow steps backwards towards the door. When she was a few steps away, he seemed to notice Armin’s presence, and Mikasa tensed. She didn’t care if he was delirious and hurt- she wouldn’t let him get near Armin. Armin himself had tensed too, holding his breath.

The reaction Levi had was not what they anticipated, though. Instead of snapping at him too, he instead relaxed, his eyes softened.

“Furlan,” he breathed in apparent relief, closing his eyes. Armin glanced back to Mikasa with a raised eyebrow. Mikasa simply took another few steps back until she was out the door, but Armin could still see her and she could still peer in.

“A-are you okay, Cap- Levi?” Armin asked hesitantly, and she heard Levi huffed out a breath.

“Is he gone?” Levi asked, and Armin swallowed before nodding.

“It’s just us,” he told him. “But Levi, you hurt your leg, I need to check it. Will you let me check it?” He asked.

“Such a mother…” Levi muttered, tipping his head back. Slowly, he unwound from his tight position, stretching his legs out with a grimace.

Armin silently picked up the towel Mikasa had dropped, dipping it in the water and leaning close to his thigh. He gently began to dab the skin around it, cooling the hot skin, and Levi let out a sigh.

“He knows,” Levi said randomly, and Armin looked up. He had his eyes closed and his cheeks were flushed with heat, and he had a pained and distraught expression.

“Who knows what, Levi?” He asked in confusion, and Levi huffed.

“You ‘n Isabel… I should’ve trusted you,” Levi said, head shaking slightly, “you never liked him for a reason.”

“Are you okay, Levi?” Armin asked gently. He was shocked, to say the least. Levi was completely unaware of the situation he was in, obviously thinking Mikasa had been someone else, and now thinking Armin was someone he must deem a friend, or even a brother, possibly, enough to be this open with anyway. As much as Armin was curious about Levi’s delirious ramblings about his past, guilt bubbled up in his stomach. He was basically taking advantage of his vulnerable state, and while he doubted he’d remember any of this when he wasn’t delirious, the idea of using his state to learn about an obviously sensitive moment in his past.

Levi’s past was something that was talked about among everyone quite a lot- there were rumours that the Captain had actually been born in the Underground and lived there until he was an adult, working as some kind of thug, or thief, or spy, or assassin- anything of the like. They had tried to find out more about his past, but it seemed that no one knew- or at least was willing to speak about- and all they had to go off where rumours. Levi’s past seemed to be an extremely guarded and unknown topic, but everyone was curious to find out what had made Levi the man he was now.

“Don’t trust people down here, Furlan. Where’s… Where’s Isabel? She shouldn’t be-be alone, where’s-“

“Levi, please calm down- you’re hurt, and Isabel’s fine, she’s safe, I saw her a moment ago Levi, please calm down,” Armin hurriedly interrupted, gently pushing down on his shoulders when he began to sit up. Much to his surprise, he didn’t resist, but he supposed Levi did think he was someone else.

“Just rest, Levi. Everything will be okay when you wake up, yeah?” Armin coaxed, and Levi let out a shuddering breath.

“I trust you, Furlan,” he murmured, and it seemed he had spent all the energy he had rambling. He slumped down, and after a few moments, his breathing deepened slightly, evening out as he fell back to sleep.

Armin let out a sigh of relief, his shoulders slumping, and he turned back to the door.

“He’s out again, Mikasa,” he called softly, and the dark-haired girl slowly re-entered the room, her eyebrows raised. Armin was still gently dabbing around the wound on the top of his thigh.

“That was… Something,” she commented, and Armin softly snorted.

“At least he let me check the wounds,” he said, and Mikasa tipped her head in agreement. At least he did let that happen.

They closed the bedroom door behind them and walked into the living room. Armin sat on one of the seats with a grunt. Mikasa walked back over to the kitchen, picking up the tea she’d made earlier, and handed it over to Armin.

“Should we not be saving the herbs for Levi?” He asked, cocking his head to the side slightly.

“If Levi wants it, he can wake up and not be delirious,” Mikasa stated, pushing the tea into Armin’s hands, “and plus, you still got hurt. This’ll help,” she urged. Armin relented and took the tea, hugging his hands around the mug and ghosting his lips over the rim of it.

It had been easy to ignore his aching ribs when he had to focus on Levi, but they still protested at big movements and when he turned certain ways or took a deep breath, so he tested the temperature of the tea and found it a perfect temperature, and he took a long sip of it, feeling it warm its way down his throat.

“There were never any soldiers called Furlan or Isabel, were there?” Armin asked curiously, and Mikasa’s eyes flicked back to him, looking thoughtful. She pressed her lips together and fell onto the sofa, crossing one leg over the other and running a hand through her hair before she shook her head.

“If there were, they weren’t alive by the time we came,” she stated, and Armin’s eyes flicked down. It was entirely possible that Levi had had friends in the Survey Corps that had died before he and Mikasa had even joined.

“But he also said ‘down here’,” Mikasa stated, and Armin pursed his lips, bringing his gaze back to her and giving her a questioning look. She gave a small shrug, glancing aside.

“Well, everyone always says he was born in the Underground, don’t they?” She asked rhetorically, raising an eyebrow, and Armin glanced down as he took another sip of the tea- it tasted odd with the mix of herbs in it, but not bad.

“Everyone says that,”  Armin agreed, nodding his head minutely before he shook it, “we shouldn’t be trying to pry into his past,” he sighed, “it’s not fair.”

Mikasa watched Armin for a moment, before her shoulders slumped slightly. “Maybe so,” she said. Her eyes flicked across to the fire, watching the flames dance and flicker in the fireplace. “Let’s just hope the next time he wakes up that he’s lucid,” she stated, and Armin had to nod his head in agreement. He just hoped he’d wake up and be able to tell them what to do and would get them safely back to the others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this, feel free to give any kind of comment- I love interacting with you guys' and hearing your feedback and ideas!


	8. Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Slightly shorter chapter now, but I hope you're all still enjoying it.   
> Also, on a random note that I just want to share because I'm happy- I handed the first draft of my english personal essay for my folio and my teacher said it was 'beautifully written' and 'one of the best first drafts I've read in a long time' and I!!! I hardly have to edit it and I'm really proud of it lmao.

They spent the rest of that evening going over the supplies they had, making sure the fire stayed, and rummaging around the rest of the house to see what they had. Before the sun began to go down, Mikasa headed out to check the traps that she’d set earlier, and Armin began setting around the candles they’d found in the house, using the fire to light some of them when the house began to get dark. They’d been keeping the curtains all closed to try and keep attention on them low, but it blocked out almost all of the light and Armin always expected to see a giant eye staring back at him.

Armin sat by the fire with his knees pulled to his chest, picking at an orange and warming himself by the fire. He was glad that there’d been a house so close to them on their way here, and in such good condition, but he wasn’t enthusiastic about staying here for longer than they had to already. An entire day had already passed and Levi had only woken up once, and he’d been completely delirious.

With a sigh, Armin set the rest of his orange on the coffee table and used it to help himself to his feet. He tiptoed over to the bedroom, nudging the door open and looking over to the bed.

Levi was sat up against the headboard, the blanket still over his lap, and his shoulders were tense. His cheeks puffed with each breath, but his eyes were, thankfully, less bloodshot than earlier, and more clear. He had a murderous expression on his eyes, but they softened slightly, changing to confusion when he saw Armin.

Armin, fully not expecting Levi to be awake, startled slightly, his eyes widening.

“C-captain!” He gasped, hurrying over, but at Levi’s still angry and tense expression, he staggered with a few paces left between him and the bed.

“Armin?” He croaked, throat dry, his eyes narrowing. Armin gave a sheepish smile, a hand raising to scratch the back of his head.

“Yeah, that’s me,” he confirmed, and Levi glanced at the door behind him.

“Where am I?” He asked, his eyes flicking over the feminine bedroom.

“You got hurt fighting the titans to get me, Mikasa and Hange out of the forest,” Armin began, frightened for a moment that he wouldn’t remember- but he nodded tensely.

“I remember that,” he confirmed.

“Mikasa, Hange and I rode back to the camp, but it was- a fire had caught the place. There were no casualties there, but everyone was gone. Hange rode back to rendezvous- sure enough, Fenrir was waiting near by- and we found another horse that had been left. Hange told us to go back for you so you didn’t come back to the camp, and we looked about the forest for a while before we could find you. When we did, it had started raining and you’d already been outside in your condition for a while, and we didn’t think you’d make it the ride back to rendezvous. Mikasa knew of this house on the way there which was much closer- it’s actually her old house- and we did what we could for your wounds. You’ve been pretty much asleep until now,” Armin explained slowly, watching Levi’s expression carefully.

“That’d explain why I feel like shit,” he muttered, and Armin pressed his lips together.

“How bad?” Levi asked, and it was obvious there was something else on his mind that he was holding back for now.

“Well, you hurt the back of your head a bit, and you landed on one of your blades which cut your stomach. What we’re most worried about is your leg- we think you probably landed on a tree branch, and it impaled right through it. We were just lucky the branch wasn’t actually in it still,” Armin explained, wringing his hands together.

Levi nodded his head slowly, his eyes roaming around the room before staying on the floor, falling into silence.

“Where’s Ackerman, then?” He asked, and Armin’s eyes flicked to the door.

“She put out some traps this morning, and she just went to go check them a while ago. She’ll probably be back soon, sir,” he informed, and Levi gave a tiny nod again. Armin awkwardly stood, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he watched Levi glumly looking at the floor, his lips in a tight frown.

“You know, then,” he stated, and Armin’s eyes flicked from where they had moved to the window and back to Levi. He had his head tipped down, his hair falling across his eyes, a few strands clinging to his forehead with sweat. His skin was paler than usual, and Armin worried that he was going to be sick.

“Know what, sir?” Armin asked hesitantly, and Levi’s eyes snapped up to him with a cold glare.

“Don’t bullshit me, Arlert. You took it off- you know,” Levi hissed, and Armin’s shoulders tensed, his eyes widened. Then, he made the connection, and realisation settled across his face. Levi shifted on the bed slightly, biting his lips to not make a sound, but kept his furious glare on Armin. Armin became sickly aware of the situation, how Levi looked ready to all but spring out of bed at him, and he took a few steps back, hands raised as if to try and convey he was no threat.

“W-we, yes, we had to take it off- you had hurt your ribs too, and you weren’t breathing well, and it was constricting your ribs, sir,” Armin gushed out, his cheeks flushing red, and he watched Levi’s jaw clench. He noticed that, like he had when he first woke up, delirious, his hand crept towards the pillow, fingers sweeping under it, and his hand clenched into a fist when it, once more, turned out empty. He shifted towards the edge of the bed, swinging his good leg over, and Armin shook his head rapidly, hurrying forwards.

“Captain, please stop- your leg’s too hurt, you shouldn’t stand up yet-“ Armin pleaded, but as soon as he got close to Levi, the captain’s hands shot out, grabbing his shirt and pulling him roughly down onto the bed. He hardly moved his lower body, putting most of the strain on his abs, and using his hands to hold him down, an arm pressing against Armin’s windpipe.

“If you even so much as breathe a word of this to anyone, even think that you or Ackerman can use this,” Levi hissed, his chest heaving with exertion, “I won’t hesitate to gut you, and her, right then and there.”

Armin’s eyes widened, and he sucked in air through the threatening arm over his neck.

“C-captain, we aren’t… Planning on tell-telling anyone, or-or doing anything!” Armin wheezed, lifting one hand to rest on Levi’s arm. Levi’s eyebrows furrowed, his lips pressing in a tight line

“I don’t really und-understand, but we aren’t going to say a thing, sir,” he said, sucking in another harsh breath.

Levi stared down at Armin for a moment longer with cold, untrusting eyes, before releasing pressure on his neck.

“Where is it?” He asked as Armin took in a free, deep breath and gently rubbed his neck.

“What?” He asked in momentary confusion, and Levi snorted.

“The damn binder, Arlert. You’ve already seen too much,” Levi snapped, and the blonde hurried to his feet.

“I- it’s with everything else, but I-I can’t let you put it back on just now, sir- your ribs are too bruised. Mikasa thinks that any pressure or hit to them now would just break some of them,” Armin said gently. The blonde heaved himself off the bed, getting to his feet and standing a few feet away from the tense captain.

Levi watched Armin through his narrowed eyes, before he slouched, a sigh leaving his lips. His eyes fluttered closed, and he ran a lightly shaking hand through his damp hair.

“How long have we been here?” He asked, voice croaky.

Armin pursed his lips in thought. “A couple of days. Honestly, it’s lucky you’ve even woken up this quickly, sir,” he commented, and Levi raised a thin eyebrow slightly.

“I don’t tend to stay unconscious for long,” he muttered, “this the first time I’ve woken up?” He questioned again, and Armin had a brief flashback of yesterday, when he’d lashed out at Mikasa and called him ‘Furlan’.

“You woke up briefly yesterday when we were checking the wound on your thigh. I didn’t think you’d remember it, sir, you were pretty delirious,” Armin answered, and Levi simply nodded.

“Are you hungry? Mikasa shouldn’t be long with anything she caught, but we have some fruit and berries in the living room- and I can boil some water for tea!” He perked up, eyebrows raising hopefully. Grey eyes glanced back towards him, and Armin took it as a yes. He hurried out of the bedroom, finding the metal pot of water and fumbling to hang it above the fire, and while he was there, he set another piece of wood on the fire. He pulled out a mug and separated a few herbs from the pile they had, and as the water began to boil, Armin grabbed a handful of the berries they had and scurried back towards the bedroom.

Levi had shifted back into the bed, his injured leg stretched out in front of him, and his eyes were closed. Armin hesitated, quieting his steps as he walked over to the small end table, setting the berries on them.

His eyes lingered on Levi for a moment before he walked over to the window, pulling it closed and leaving a small gap in the curtains to let in a tiny bit of light.

“I don’t know if you’re still awake, but I’ll just in case- can I check your wounds, sir?” He hesitantly asked, and he was surprised when Levi actually opened his eyes. He took a moment before he nodded, and Armin hurried to gather a clean tower and clean water to begin.

Levi complied as he undid the bandage around his head to look at the wound on the back of his head- there were little drops of dried blood staining the bandage, probably during the times he’d woken up- and he gently cleaned it before he moved onto the gash on his stomach. The skin around the stitching was still red and hot, but, at the very least Armin thought, his blades had been fairly sharp and the cut had been clean, if nothing else. Levi was slightly surprised to see stitches, but he didn’t comment on them.

Finally, they moved onto the wound on his thigh, and Levi bit his lip harder when Armin began dabbing the cool towel around the wound. Though the coolness of the towel obviously brought some relief, prodding at it brought the exact opposite effect.

“I’ll check the water for the tea in a moment- it should help with the pain,” he commented gently, and Levi just minutely nodded, keeping his head down.

Armin left him for a moment when he did what he could, and he made the tea with a mix of the herbs quickly before he scurried back inside the room to hand it to a tired-looking Levi. The Captain breathed in the warmth from it, hugging his hands around it in the awkward way that he always held his cup with, and tried to supress the shivers that seized his body.

For a moment, they were quiet- Armin awkwardly standing to the side in case the Captain should need anything else, silently hoping Mikasa would come in any moment now, and Levi just watching the herbs twirl in the cup before taking a slow sip of.

“Captain Levi, sir?” Armin spoke up hesitantly, and Levi’s tired eyes flicked up from the cup to the blonde, silently urging him on.

“I was just- ah… Yesterday, when you woke up. You thought I was someone else,” he said, and Levi’s eyebrows furrowed slightly in curiosity, but he nodded. Armin anxiously chewed his bottom lip, already regretting the decision to bring this up. His shoulders slumped and he let out a defeated sigh, only for Levi to roll his eyes.

“Spit it out, Arlert, you’ve started now,” he retorted.

Armin’s cheeks flushed lightly and he glanced to the floor. “Who is Furlan and Isabel?” He asked in a rush, feeling his stomach settle when he finally asked the question. His eyes lifted from the wooden floor and to Levi, who had frozen mid-sip of his tea, his eyes staring at the floor widely.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked- I’m sorry sir, just forget that I asked that-“ Armin blurted, guilt bubbling up in his chest again. Levi raised a hand from his mug of tea to silence him, however, and shook his head.

“It’s fine, brat. You didn’t mean anything by that,” Levi stated quietly. “I take it I thought you were Furlan and Ackerman was Isabel?” He assumed, and Armin’s hand rose to the back of his head, gently scratching it sheepishly.

“You thought I was Furlan, yes, but I don’t know who you thought Mikasa was, sir. You just wanted her out of the room,” he explained, and Levi pressed his lips together, his shoulders tensing slightly.

“Who knows,” he muttered with a shrug, and he took a small sip of his tea. “Furlan and Isabel, they were…” He trailed off thoughtfully, staring off into his cup. He let out a quiet sigh. “They were my friends for years, since we were young. We joined the Survey Corps together. They didn’t make it past our first expedition,” he said, his voice uncommonly soft.

“I’m s-“

“Don’t. Be sorry for them if you must, but not for me,” Levi interrupted, and he leaned back against the headboard in the bed.

“Now that I think about it, your little titan friend, Yeager, is quite like Isabel,” Levi murmured, his eyes rolling towards Armin who was listening eagerly. “Ackerman’s kind of like Furlan too, though Furlan was less egotistic and more responsible,” he snorted, shaking his head softly. “They would have liked you lot. Isabel would have been more than happy to join in on all your gossiping sessions about me, and Furlan would’ve lost sleep reading books with you.”

“They sound like nice people,” Armin offered softly. He couldn’t help but notice the way Levi’s tone softened, and the way his lips subconsciously turned upwards, as he spoke about the two of them.

“They were. Bloody idiots, but good people,” he said, and then he fell quiet. His eyes strayed to stare at the floor as he drew warmth from the cup of tea, and Armin lingered for a moment. Levi looked exhausted, circles under his eyes darker than usual and his body shaking and tense. But there was a fond, nostalgic, longing look to his eyes, and Armin suddenly felt like he was intruding in a private moment to himself. He silently excused himself, backing out of the room and closing the door as quietly as he could.

He still felt terribly guilty that he’d brought it up, but he couldn’t turn back the past now. He’d done it, and all he could do now was appreciate Levi letting him into a little bit of his past. Briefly, Armin wondered if their names would be anywhere- they kept a record of all their soldiers, after all, and their emblems always had their names and date of joining the Corps on the back, though Armin wasn’t sure where they kept the emblems. And anyway- not everyone had emblems to bring back. His mind flicked back to the large wooden plaques in the hallway towards the Commander’s office, holding the names of each fallen soldier, and how after each outing and expedition the current plaque would be taken off the wall and sent somewhere, and come back with new names and dates engraved. Furlan and Isabel would surely be on there, then.

A part of Armin wanted to remember them, if at least for Levi. Everyone grieved differently, and he wasn’t sure how Levi mourned for his lost friends- if he simply forgot about them or if he forced himself to remember every detail about them, like some soldiers did- but he knew what he’d do should any of his friends not return with him. Even if he was the only one to remember them, at least they weren’t forgotten from the world except for on a plaque or pile of blood-stained emblems.

Armin settled himself in front of the fire, folding his arms across the top of his knees and setting his chin on his knees, staring into the dancing flames of the fire. He wondered how long Levi had actually been in the corps for, and how many people he’d stood beside, only to be the only one to return. He wondered how old Levi had been when he joined the Corps with Furlan and Isabel. Had he joined them young, through the training corps, like he and Eren and Mikasa and everyone else? He wondered how he coped with having such a heavy label on his shoulders.

Armin’s thoughts kept him more than occupied until the front door opened and Mikasa strode in. She was holding a rabbit and two squirrels, and she closed the door with the heel of her foot.

“You made tea?” She asked as she stepped in, setting the animals on the kitchen counter, and she bent over to begin unlacing her boots to set them neatly aside.

“Uh, yeah- Levi woke up, so I made him some of the tea to try and help him. I checked over his wounds, too, and all we can really do is keep them clean and keep him healthy and hope we can make it back quickly,” Armin replied, turning his head to look at his friend.

Mikasa raised her eyebrows when she heard about Levi waking up, and her eyes subconsciously flicked over towards the bedroom door. “Was he lucid this time?” She asked curiously.

“Surprisingly, yes,” Armin confirmed with a small smile, “which I’m hoping is a good sign. I updated him on how long we’ve been here, but he looked exhausted. We can leave talking about getting back until he’s well enough. I gave him some of the berries, but I don’t know if he ate any of them, and he’s probably asleep again.” Armin informed, and Mikasa nodded.

“Alright, good. In that case, I can try and make us a stew to eat tomorrow. Hopefully he can keep food down and having something more than just a few berries will help him recover quicker,” she said, and Armin nodded in agreement.

He had been fearful about having to stay here for longer than absolutely necessary- and he still was- but he felt in less of a rush to get out, less pressured to make a mad dash out of the door and back to the rest of the squad as soon as Levi could keep his eyes open for ten minutes. He still didn’t like the idea of staying out here, in the open, for any titan to walk past and see, especially with their best protection sweating a puddle in the bedroom and hardly able to walk.

“We, uh, we spoke briefly about- well, you know,” Armin said quietly a few moments later, and Mikasa’s eyes flicked over to him. She had an apple in her hand and was twisting it around, before she bit into it and nodded to the blonde to continue.

“So he knows that we know. He wasn’t, ah, happy, but I spoke it through with him. He knows we don’t think any differently,” he             stated, and Mikasa looked at him silently for a moment longer before she nodded.

“Good.”

Armin turned his gaze back to the fire casting shadows about the room and warming him up. He was tempted to crack the door to the bedroom open slightly to let some heat get to Levi’s room, but he could remember how hot his skin felt under his touch and decided that wouldn’t be the most helpful thing, even if Levi thought he was cold.

Mikasa roamed around quietly, eating the apple and preparing the animals she’d caught for tomorrow, and Armin’s eyes fluttered closed a few times, his head dropping forwards, before he caught himself and forced his eyes open. Outside, he could hear the wind picking up and blowing against the walls and window, and the rain that gently tapped against the window and slowly grew until it was battering down. Armin inched out of his position to throw another few sticks onto the fire.

“How long do you think we’ll be here for?” He asked softly, glancing back to Mikasa. He was glad she was here with him, at least. He wasn’t sure how he’d cope on his own out here, while taking care of Levi.

“Who knows,” Mikasa shrugged, “I’d like to say that we could leave tomorrow, but that’s highly unlikely. Levi needs time to rest and recover, and we only have one horse between three of us- we’ll have to let him rest more, and he’ll go slower with three people on him, and that’s not mentioning Levi’s injuries. We’ll have to travel slowly to not hurt him more,” Mikasa stated, and Armin pressed his lips together.

“We don’t know if the rest of the squad will be waiting for us at rendezvous, or if they even made it there. The fire looked like it had been caused by someone intentionally, after all, so they might have had to retreat to the walls, so was it someone with us, or had someone followed us out? And what about those titans in that forest? They weren’t normal, and what if they start coming after us again. Maybe the Commander will send people out to find us, but unless we reach rendezvous or return to the camp on the off chance they go back there, would they find us out here?” She spoke in an eerily calm tone, hardly looking up from the apple core in her hands. She bit into it once more and swallowed it quickly.

“We can’t leave until Levi’s well enough to travel, and I say we head right to rendezvous as quickly as we can and hope people are still there,” she shrugged. She set the apple core on the kitchen table and studied her nails, picking a bit of dirt from under it. Armin nodded his head slowly, turning his gaze down to his hands clasped together, his nails lightly scratching the back of his hand.

His eyes flicked back to the door towards the door separating them from Levi. Hopefully, if they could keep him resting as much as possible right now, it’d help speed up his healing process, but he really wasn’t overly optimistic. They had limited medical supplies here and he was just hoping that cleaning the wounds regularly and making Levi rest would fix it, and the high temperature he was running would just burn itself out.

Armin turned to look back at Mikasa, who had turned away now, busying herself with lighting the old candles in the room with the fire. They’d fix this. They’d found Levi, and he was healing. They just needed to be patient, and hopefully, everything would stay as simple as he hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, if you enjoyed it, let me know what you liked and if there's anything you'd like to see in the story- a specific scene, maybe, more backstory, etcetera- let me know and maybe I'll write it!
> 
> If you wanna chat, you can find me on Tumblr @ genderfxck-levi.


	9. Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the long wait! I'm hella busy with school right now, so updates may be varied, but I'm still dedicated to finishing this! If you want to stay updated with me, you can follow me on Tumblr @genderfxck-Levi.
> 
> Slow chapter, I guess, but it's building up to more!

The idea that he had slept for so long was disturbing. The last time he had slept so long was, actually, when he was in a similar situation and had been injured and ill. As much as he wanted to get out of the bed and march into the living room and actually figure out what situation they were in and get them back to the rest of the Corps, he felt utterly horrible. He highly doubted he would be able to consume anything more than the tea and three berries he had, as it was already making his stomach flip and cramp, and he felt both hot and cold at the same time, and terribly disgusting with the amount he was sweating.

That was not to mention the actual injuries themselves. Perhaps moving to grab Armin really hadn’t been a great idea with the pain it had brought, and since then he’d tried not to move as much, and the pain had been burning low in little waves. His stomach and head ached furiously, and his leg, god, that probably rivalled for first place in most painful wounds he’d ever gotten.

He drifted off to sleep for short periods of time throughout the night, often waking up and feeling very disorientated, and he woke up for the last time when he must have shifted in his sleep and the pain in his leg had him gripping the ridiculously girly bedsheets with white knuckles. God, he was glad he couldn’t remember what had actually happened, that he’d blacked out when he had.

Slowly, Levi pulled himself into a sitting position, his entire body just protesting violently- his tender ribs, the wound on his stomach, his blinding migraine, and his leg which threatened to drown the rest out. He tried his best to move his leg as little as possible, and he narrowed his eyes against the light that slithered in through the curtains.

He eyed the door at the other end of the room with distaste and pushed the soft blankets off of him. He twisted slightly and put his good leg down on the floor. When he sat up straighter, not leaning back, a rush of dizziness flooded his head and he swayed slightly, one hand instantly going to grip the mattress under him for support.

He bit his lip to hold back a strained groan as he moved his other leg until it was over the edge of the bed and his legs were shaking. He’d been in bed, taking up their time, for too long already. Arlert had said about the fire back at camp, and they needed to get back and make sure everyone was alright.

Still, when Levi went to stand, he immediately chickened out, his trembling fists tightening in the bedsheets, and he took in as deep a breath as he could before his ribs made him wince.

 _Suck it up, Levi_ , he told himself bitterly, and then he threw himself to his feet.

A choked cry tore his throat as the pain that had been bubbling up suddenly burst forwards and the air was torn from his lungs. His legs gave out from under him, or he blacked out for a moment, or both, and he tumbled to the floor with a harsh thud.

His ears rang, and he felt oddly disconnected from his body for a moment. The wind outside the window was oddly loud and he could feel the unevenness in the floorboards he was pressing his forehead into, and for a sweet moment, there was no pain, but it didn’t last long before he snapped back and he couldn’t care less about the wind or the floor with how he felt he couldn’t even try to pull air into his lungs and how his vision swam from the pain.

The door to the bedroom opened quickly, and two sets of footsteps rushed over. “Captain!” Arlert gasped, and he saw him slide to his knees beside him, felt his hands spread over his shoulders and upper arms, unsure of what to do.

“We’re going to put you back on the bed,” Ackerman said calmly, kneeling down more gracefully than Arlert had. Levi, unwilling to fight back at the moment, just gently tipped his head in the smallest nod, and gasped in a shuddering breath. Arlert and Ackerman slipped their arms under his armpits, and he heard Ackerman count. As she neared the word ‘three’, dread pooled in his stomach. He grit his teeth as he was lifted off the cold floor, and slowly brought back to the bed and gently lowered onto it. Arlert helped him manoeuvre his legs onto the bed carefully.

“Care to explain why you were trying to get out of bed, Captain? You’re obviously still hurt,” Ackerman asked, and if not for the slight softness in her tone, he would have bristled at it.

“We’ve wasted too much time here,” Levi stated. He sank into the bed, his eyes flickering closed. “We need to make our way back.”

“Sir, you’re in no state to be travelling at all,” Ackerman said, sounding slightly apologetic. “You need to rest before you even think about standing up and leaving.”

Levi lifted a hand, gently running it through his hair, pushing it back from his head. He knew that, of course, but this entire situation was uncomfortable- staying out in the middle of titan-territory, hurt badly enough he couldn’t walk, relying on two younger cadets, and he’d both spoken about Furlan and Isabel and had his worst secret exposed. God, he wanted to get back into the walls as quickly as possible.

He tipped his head back, taking in a breath. He needed to think. He was still their captain, he needed to get this situation under control.

“I’ll make you some tea for the pain,” Ackerman offered, and then she stepped out of the room. He could hear her working about in what he assumed to be the kitchen. Arlert lingered by his bed, gingerly wringing his hands together.

“Arlert,” Levi spoke up. He carefully shifted to sit up better, cloudy grey eyes watching as Arlert startled and stood straighter. “We need to get a move on here. How long do you think I need to ‘rest’ this? With this situation, realistically,” he asked, voice slightly croaky and deep.

The blonde in question shifted on his feet, a hand scratching his neck. His eyes, a similar blue to Erwin (and God, that reminded him, he needed to get back to Erwin) roamed the room as he thought, before finally landing on Levi.

“Oh, gosh,” he murmured, pursing his lips, “I think the head wound will heal up quickly, and so will the wound on your stomach as long as you don’t stretch it much and we keep it clean. As long as you don’t, like, have a hard fall or something, your ribs will heal. I mean, everything will heal eventually, but to be able to safely travel? Gosh, that’d take a while. A week minimum,” Arlert eventually decided, and Levi shook his head, then regretted it when it flared his headache.

“And with this situation?” He pressed.

“I’d say longer. We don’t have real medical supplies for you, or pain medication, not even any antibiotics,” he sighed, and Levi narrowed his eyes at him.

“But we wouldn’t be able to stay here for a week, never mind longer,” he hurried. “I think we just need to see how you are for today and tomorrow. Get as much rest as you can until then, and we’ll keep cleaning the wounds. Maybe we can find more herbs that can help with the pain, but even then, you’re still going to end up travelling while you’re injured, and it’ll take us longer to travel. Plus, we only have one horse.” Arlert finished with a nod, his face grim.

Levi let out a sigh before he pressed his lips together in disapproval. “Do you have both of your gear? Are they functional?” He asked.

“Mine’s a bit banged up but still usable, sir. Mikasa’s is in best condition, but we don’t have much gas or sharp blades now. Yours was broken and we had to leave it behind, but we wouldn’t have been able to fix it anyway.” Levi nodded in acknowledgement, his eyes flicking to the side.

Their situation wasn’t good at all, then. “How far from rendezvous are we?” He asked lastly.

Arlert glanced towards the door, shifting as he thought. “A few hours at least, I’d say, sir,” he said, and just then, Ackerman walked into the room, a mug gently steaming in her hands. Levi accepted it, cupping his hands around it. He still felt oddly cold despite the clamminess and sweat on his skin.

“Ackerman, today or tomorrow, I want you to go to rendezvous,” Levi said. It was a gamble, and dangerous sending one person out with such little resources, but he was lucky Ackerman was here and was skilled enough that he could trust she’d, probably, be fine.

“We aren’t getting all three of us out here on one horse and to somewhere hours away, ignoring my condition. You can update on the situation and possibly bring back some supplies and another horse or two. There’s no point in bringing people back- the cabin’s too small for many more people anyway, and it’s not necessary, but if you need someone to help you back if it’s dangerous, then do so.”

The girl watched Levi with her usual blank stare before she gave a nod. “I’ll leave early tomorrow morning, sir,” she assured him, and Levi nodded approvingly.

“God, call me Levi. If we’re all stuck here together, I’m not going to listen to that every time we talk,” he groaned. The two in front of him shared a quick glance before nodding, and Levi turned his attention to the tea in his hands.

Ackerman excused herself to go check her gear and the horse for leaving, and Arlert lingered awkwardly. His eyes were on his legs, and Levi couldn’t say he was enjoying the staring.

He waved a hand out in front of where the blondes’ eyes were trained and managed to get his attention, his eyebrows raising questioningly.

“Sorry si-Levi, I was just thinking. I highly doubt you’re going to be able to walk without help in time for us to leave, but if we have sharp enough blades, we could try and make some crutches,” he said, and Levi turned his gaze away in thought. It wasn’t a bad idea at all.

He nodded his head in agreement, looking back at him. “If you could do that, then that’d be good,” he agreed. It was a much more appealing option to leaning on him and Mikasa, anyway, and it was one or another.

The kid smiled proudly, and he nodded. “I’ll go see what I can do, try and rest, Levi,” he said softly, and then he scurried from the room, leaving the door slightly ajar.

Levi could hear the two of them moving about in the living room and, unable to get up and join them, he accepted defeat and slumped into the bed, slowly sipping the tea and hoping it would do something to ease the pain washing over him.

 

Since he couldn’t exactly do anything, it gave Levi an opportunity to think, which was something he didn’t enjoy doing. He tried to focus on their current situation and their goal, going over plans and routes, but it was inevitable before his mind began to run.

He thought about the room and house he was stuck in, how Armin had said it was Mikasa’s old house- he had thought she’d only lived with Eren and his family, but apparently she’d been adopted in after something happened, he assumed. He thought about his condition, how he’d never felt this weak and hurt in, god knows how long. He could remember, though, the situation he’d been in last that he’d felt like this, and it had been a while ago.

Underground. Weak from hunger and an immune system to shit, half delirious and drifting between agonising wakefulness and merciful unconsciousness. Freezing mud chilling him to the bone, the sound of rats scurrying nearby, their claws cutting his clothes and scratching his skin, teeth gnawing experimentally on his flesh only to be pathetically swatted away with a moan.

A shiver ran through Levi’s body at the memory, and he suddenly felt cold, as cold as he had back then. He downed the last of the bitter tea, savouring the heat it burned down his throat and settled into his empty stomach.

God, he’d even told Armin about Isabel and Furlan, because apparently being hurt like this made him a fool. Would Isabel and Furlan mind, though? Of course they wouldn’t. They’d call him a damn idiot, and Isabel would cuff him upside the head and join in on spreading rumours about him to everyone. Furlan would convince him that not everyone was out to kill him.

But it wasn’t like they were here to do that, though, and thinking that made guilt bubble in his throat and choke the breath out of him. His fists shook in the bedsheets, and he closed his eyes.

_Her eyes, wide open and sparkling, reflecting the stars in the sky they finally got to see- and then, dull and unseeing, glossy, staring right through him, with blood on her cheek and matting her hair and no body for him to cradle. Furlan’s shaggy blonde hair getting in his face every time he pulled him in a crushing hug, a laugh on his lips- and then he was skidding through mud and grass, blood spilling out of where teeth had ripped him in half, and his mouth hung open in a silent scream._

Levi hated thinking. It might have been years, but he’d rather rot alone in some forgotten alley of the Underground than forget them. They deserved more than to be a discarded memory, and now Armin knew who they once were. Would he remember them as best he could? Or would their names be a fleeting moment in his life that he’d never remember?

Levi forced his eyes open, stared at the wall opposite him, the shelf on it with a dusty doll, slumped over. He ran a hand down his weary face, a sigh parting his lips. He wouldn’t let himself forget them, but he had hoped that he wouldn’t be able to see their corpses after years as fresh as if it was hours ago.

Their deaths had taken a toll on him, and it seemed they weren’t done yet.

“Levi?” Armin’s voice by the door startled him, and he looked over to the blonde quickly.

“Do you think you could keep any food down?” He asked gently, and Levi thought for a moment, a hand gently resting on his stomach. Even the idea of eating something made him feel sick, but he knew he needed to keep up his strength so he could try and recover as quickly as possible.

“I’ll try.” He nodded.

Armin beamed at him, nodding enthusiastically in reply. “Awesome! Mikasa’s making stew tonight with what her traps caught, so it’s a bit more filling than some berries,” he chuckled, and then he sunk back behind the door and he could hear him quietly talking to Mikasa.

God, Levi felt nauseous at the idea of feeling full. His eating habits when he wasn’t sick were bad enough, and it was just a whole other game when he was sick. He remembered each lecture Erwin had given him the few times after he’d gotten sick and his shirts would hang a little bit looser, his cheekbones would be a little sharper, ribs a little more visible. And hey, that’s the only way Erwin ever found out when he was sick- it didn’t happen often, but he was good at hiding whatever problems he had until he was on deaths door.

A small snort left Levi’s dry lips. Erwin was an unbelievably smart man, but somehow so incredibly stupid as well.

Levi let his eyes slip shut, imagining how Erwin’s blue eyes would narrow, flicker with concern when he saw them again, and how he’d then lecture Levi out of worry about keeping himself safer. He fell asleep to the idea that he’d see Erwin again, soon.

The door cracked open slowly, and that was what Levi woke up to. The hesitant footsteps, Armin’s quiet breaths as he peered in.

“I think he’s still asleep,” the boy whispered, and Levi forced his heavy eyes open. He hadn’t meant to fallen asleep, damnit.

“No,” he croaked, going to stretch and then stopping when it made pain race through his body. “I’m awake, Armin,” he said, and slowly pushed himself onto his elbows to look over at him.

God, he still felt like shit, and he’d slept long enough to that any other illness he’d had would’ve been long cured.

Armin startled slightly, looking carefully at the steaming bowl in his hands, and then padded over once he steadied it to make sure It didn’t spill.

“You were out long enough for Mikasa to make that broth- I’ve not tried it yet, but she’s a pretty good cook so I’m sure you’ll like it! It’ll be good for you to eat something real, too,” he chatted, and Levi sat up, gingerly reaching out to take the steaming bowl from his hands.

It did smell good, he had to admit, but he didn’t have any appetite for it, honestly. “Thank you,” he uttered quietly, looking at the dark broth and stirring the spoon around it.

“How are you feeling, Captain?” Mikasa was suddenly in the doorway, piercing eyes watching the two of them.

“Levi,” he corrected quickly, eyes flashing briefly up to her before back down to the broth she had made, “better than yesterday,” he murmured with a shrug. The spoon clinked quietly when it touched the side of the bowl.

“Good,” she said, tipping her head in a nod when he corrected his name.

“I’ve started on the cruches!” Armin blurted, and Levi raised a thin brow slightly.

“Thank you,” he repeated with a gentle nod, then turned back to Mikasa. “Are you alright for tomorrow?” He asked, shifting on the bed.

He shouldn’t be in a damn child’s bed, eating broth and waiting to get better. He needed to get up, suck it up, and lead his team back to safety. He was endangering all of them because he couldn’t just suck it up; he’d been in worse conditions, and yet, here he was, whining because he had been too sloppy in both protecting his team and his secret, and he was acting like a kicked puppy.

He had a job to do, and he’d be damned if he let any more people die because of him. But could he do that? People had died beside him since as long as he could remember. Maybe that’s just his curse, maybe, no matter what he did-

“Levi.” Mikasa broke through his increasingly dark thoughts, suddenly by the edge of his bed and looking at him with concern. Armin was over her shoulder, his eyebrows furrowed, but he relaxed when Levi snapped back and his eyes focused, switching between the two of them.

Not only was he endangering them, he was stressing and worrying them, too.

“Can you repeat that?” He requested, swirling his spoon in the broth again. He lifted it to his lips, slowly sipping it into his mouth and savouring it. It was slightly salty, but not badly so. It was a mix of herbs and spices, and it wasn’t bad. It warmed its’ way down his throat and settled in his stomach, and though it wasn’t exactly comfortable, it warmed him up when a phantom cold seized his bones.

“The horse is fine for the trip tomorrow,” she began, taking a step back from the bed now that she knew he was back with them, “and I have enough food and water for emergencies, as well as two torches in case I need it. I know the quickest route to take to reach rendezvous. I don’t have much gas left, but enough for emergencies, I’d assume.” Levi pressed his lips together thoughtfully, but then nodded. Not an ideal situation but, again, not the worst.

“I trust you’ll be fine. If you have to stop and turn around, or stop by in another cabin, I trust that you’ll be fine,” he said, though it made his stomach turn more than the broth. He had half a mind to send Armin out with her, just in case she needed back up, but he knew she was more than capable on her own, and if anyone needed help, it was him.

“If you’re not back in two days, we’ll assume the worse.” Mikasa’s expression didn’t change, but she nodded, dipping slightly.

“Of course,” she said, then flashed a brief grin, “but you won’t need to worry.”

Levi’s lips twitched slightly. “I expect nothing less.”

“We’ll let you finish that, then. Do try and get some rest,” she requested, and Levi watched the two exit, the door stop just slightly ajar.

He could hear the two chatting quietly, hear Armin working on what he assumed to be the crutches for him. He turned his attention to the broth in front of him, slowly sipping spoon-fulls of it until he really began to felt nauseous and he set it aside on the bedside table and slid down the bed until he was lying down again.

He didn’t feel good, but he supposed he didn’t feel as… Utterly miserable as he had before. He was still in pain- more so since he had tried to stand up earlier- but he felt like he was, hopefully, healing. His fever had gone down a bit and he was hopeful.

His eyes fell onto the window, peering outside. It was dark now, sky covered in dark clouds and he could hear the howl of the wind pressing against the glass and the walls.

As much as his eyes drooped, he stayed awake for a while, going over plans and routes and pushing away thoughts about home and people he didn’t want to think about, now or ever. At some point, when it might have begun to get slightly brighter outside, he heard footsteps- Mikasa’s- around what he assumed was the living room, faintly picked up on her whispering to Armin, and that’s when he began to fall asleep. She would be fine, and plus, she was already heading out, assuming the swift shadow he saw flicker past his window was her.

It didn’t matter anyway, because the aching in his bones faded away to blissful nothingness, and he fell asleep.


	10. Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it's been a while. Thank you to all those who have been so patient while I've not been updating, but I'm back to writing this and updating! Sorry for the wait, and I hope you enjoy it!

Levi, for a while, drifted in and out of consciousness. He wasn’t entirely sure how much time he spent awake or asleep or in a semi-conscious, unaware state. At least his sleep was more restful and less delirious and confusing; he actually knew he was awake right now.

He still felt utterly horrible, but now it was like… Horrible in the sort of slowly healing way. A good kind of horrible, almost.

Still wasn’t pleasant, though.

And so, even though he was very awake now, he didn’t bother making an effort in trying to get up or call for Armin, whom he could hear quietly doing whatever in the living room or kitchen – he had yet to see what was actually beyond this bedroom. Not knowing anything about his surroundings – not knowing what was past that door made him uncomfortable.

Slowly, Levi began to shift, pulling himself into a sitting position and grimacing as bones cracked and his body ached. While he was happy he was feeling the good-horrible feeling which showed he was healing now, he couldn’t help but get irritated at the lack of real progress. He still wouldn’t be able to walk on his own, or move certain ways, or ride a horse for long. And, if there was something the grease in his hair and painful bladder was telling him, it was that he needed to be able to walk. Right now.

He didn’t want to have to call out for Armin and it seemed that the universe was smiling down at him in that moment, because Armin’s footsteps slowly neared the door and it cracked open, inch by inch, until blue eyes peered inside. Upon seeing Levi tensely sitting up, Armin fully opened the door and stepped inside.

“Morning, Levi,” he greeted, voice chipper, but Levi could see in the way he held his shoulders and his lips twitched that the blonde was anxious. Probably worrying about Mikasa.

Levi tipped his head slightly in his own greeting, and swallowed dryly. He also desperately needed a drink.

“How are the crutches coming?” Levi croaked, and Armin straightened.

“I just finished them! After Mikasa left I spent most of my time making them.” Levi nodded, letting out a silent sigh of relief.

“Bring them here, then,” he requested, slowly shifting until he was lowering his legs over the side of the bed. It hurt, sent sparks from his knee up to his hip, but he shoved that to the side and waited as Armin scurried out of the bedroom. He could hear shuffling about and wood hitting things, a couple of muffled scrapes on the floor, and then the boy came back into the room, lugging two wooden crutches behind him.

They looked surprisingly well made – an appropriate height, with cushioning for his hands and armpits. On the bottoms it even looked like they’d been shaped to give more grip, and Levi wondered how no one realised how skilled the kid was at making crap.

He did suppose they weren’t some damn arts and crafts club, though. With a grateful nod, Levi took them from Armin, let his hands drift along the wood and the handles, and then steeled himself with a breath. Armin stood by his side, hands half-out towards him uncertainly.

Levi pushed himself up onto his feet, putting his full weight onto his good side before manoeuvring himself onto the crutches. They fit against his sides and under his arms perfectly, and the cushioning on the handles made them much more comfortable. Plus, he was actually standing now, not crippled on the floor in pain.

Tentatively, Levi began to take slow, careful steps with the crutches, keeping the weight well off his bad leg. The crutches held strong and didn’t slip or shift at all against the floor, and he caught the hang of it quickly enough. Levi had to give the kid credit – he’d made them quickly, and the only thing to show for that was some rough edges and a few bits of splintered wood. It’s better than what Levi could have done in that time, and it served its’ job perfectly.

Armin was hovering somewhere behind him, his hands clasped together in front of him and a hesitant, hopeful expression. Levi turned careful, thoughtfully pressed his lips together, and then nodded approvingly. “Well made, Armin,” he complimented, and the blonde’s face lit up incredibly, a smile twisting his lips.

“A-ah, thank you, sir – Levi. They’re not as neat as they could be but, well, we’ve not really got proper supplies or things to do that with and they –“

“Armin, they’re good. Thank you.”

He flushed slightly, finally closing his mouth and nodding.

Levi turned again and then he began to leave the bedroom he’d been stuck in.

The curtains of the living room were only slightly open, letting in slivers of light but concealing those inside, and there was a burning candle on the wooden coffee table, casting wavering shadows around the room. There was a small, dusty purple sofa by the coffee table, and a similar armchair to the right. In the other half of the room was the open kitchen, wooden counters and cupboards and a stove with a large pot on it. There were a few decorations around the room, and every photo frame was placed face-down.

“Which room is the bathroom?” He asked Armin, turning to glance at him with tired eyes. He was eager to be upright and walking once more, but he was nowhere near healthy yet and he could tell that he wouldn’t be able to be up for the entire day.

Armin walked around him and towards the door in the right corner and nudged it open, holding it as Levi slowly made his way over, wooden stubs of his crutches thumping gently against the floor. Levi slid in, glancing around before sighing in relief at the sight of both the bath and the toilet. He focused on his pressing need first as Armin closed the door and hovered outside, and then he thought about the bath.

He, of course, needed to check his bandages and he’d have to work around his wounds. Hell, he probably wouldn’t even be able to get safely in and out of the bath by himself, and that thought made his stomach sink.

He grit his teeth and exited the bathroom, turning to Armin who was now sitting on the cushioned sofa. “I need a bath,” he stated, and his dark eyes flicked towards the buckets shoved to the side.

Armin sat up slightly, before he nodded. “It’s probably a good idea to clean your wounds, too,” he commented, and Levi silently nodded with a stiff jerk of his head.

“I’ll go fetch some water quickly! It’ll take a while to heat, though,” he added. Already he was scrambling to his feet and grabbing the nearest bucket. He hauled it towards the door, carefully peering outside until he was sure there were no looming titans, and he disappeared with the bucket. Levi slumped into the armchair with a sigh and a grimace.

He was overjoyed that he could finally get off his ass, but that just brought their next round of problems. He couldn’t put any weight on his bad leg whatsoever, and his good one was just as weak and shaky. His stomach was hot and his head was hurting once more, and he felt disgustingly dirty and weak and tired. He was determined to be able to bathe himself without any help because he was a grown ass man that could damn well bathe himself, except, he might not be able to currently. He couldn’t care less about nudity – he’d seen everything by now, had showered with people when he’d first joined the Survey Corps. He didn’t care about nudity, but there was the very obvious fact that his body was, in simple terms, not what people might expect. He had a tough enough time looking at it himself, he didn’t need anyone else (save for Erwin, he supposed) looking at him like that either.

Levi pushed down the emotions bubbling up under his bruised ribcage, furiously staring at the door. Now wasn’t a time to think about that when there was more pressing matters.

He stayed in that position until Armin returned, tried to make small talk, then left with the second bucket after putting the first over the freshly lit fire, quickly returning to do the same with the second bucket. The sound of water sloshing in the bucket quietly echoed in the room, and Armin lingered by the fire and the bathroom until, eventually, he was hauling a bucket inside and Levi could hear the harsh slap it made against the bath tub. He repeated the process with the second bucket and Levi pulled himself to his feet, gripping the crutches tightly and hobbling into the bathroom. Armin had pulled a cream-coloured towel out from somewhere and had set it on a basket at the end of the steaming tub while he lingered, a conflicted expression on his face.

“Tch, I can bathe myself, brat. I’m not completely useless,” Levi scoffed, his lips tilted down in a restrained scowl. Armin hesitated, though, glancing at the crutches, the bath, and back to Levi.

“I’ll need to check your wounds,” he said, “and clean them.”

Levi pressed his lips together. It wasn’t the kids fault he’d gotten himself into such a state, and he shouldn’t snap at him. It wasn’t the kids fault he’d gotten the shitty, short end of the stick before he was even born, and he needed to suck it up and focus on what was more important – actually making sure his wounds were clean, and getting the layers of grime and dirt off his skin and out of his hair.

“Alright. Do my head first, then,” he muttered, and lowered himself to sit on top of the toilet lid, head tilted down. Armin hurried to grab a cloth and dunked it in the hot water of the bath, and then scurried over. Levi felt careful fingers prodding around his head until he got close enough and made Levi suck in a sudden breath at the jolt of pain it brought. Armin murmured a quick apology but continued to part his hair and examine the wound on his head, and then began to clean it gently.

“The swelling on it’s gone down for the most part now,” he commented optimistically, and Levi just grunted in acknowledgement. “We can re-wrap everything after the bath when you’re dry.”

There was a moment of silence, and Levi didn’t make an effort to break it yet, his eyes dancing around the bathroom – he hadn’t properly looked around when he’d came in here. The walls were a soft blue-grey colour with a white trim, and most of the furniture was white as well – white wicker baskets for laundry and towels, a sleek, white bath against one wall with a long, thin painting of a meadow of flowers. There was a compact cabinet in the far corner with old bottles and jars of some toiletries and candles and photo frames (all put face-down) as well as some small, old flower pots with dead leaves around them.

Bringing his attention back to Armin, Levi heaved an irritated sigh and then lifted the baggy shirt enough to show the bandage wrapping around his abdomen. Armin’s hands gently began to peel them off and then prodded around the wound hesitantly, his tongue poking out between his lips in concentration. Levi’s muscles tensed under his fingers, lines by his eyes becoming more prominent with tension.

When Armin was done and quietly hinted at checking the wound in his thigh, Levi manoeuvred to kick the baggy pants off too, and pull one leg of his boxers up carefully to show more of the area around the wound. Armin, at the least, didn’t flush this time, but began instantly to peel off the bandages and clean the wound as gently as he could. It still made Levi grip the sink next to him until his knuckles were paler than the rest of his hand. The wound itself was gross, all dark bruises around it and covering half his thigh. He had to twist around slightly so he could check the exit wound, and then he was left to sit as Armin began hauling the first bucket of warm water through and tip it into the bath, followed by the next.

“Your wounds are healing alright so far,” he said once the water settled in the tub quietly, “slower than we’d like, but that can’t really be helped. I’m worried about the one on your stomach getting infected, and the one on your thigh, but I’m hoping by the time Mikasa gets back, we can have already made some pastes and teas for it. I don’t know as much as she does about natural remedies, but I know a bit.”

He pulled through the last bucket, slowly tipping it into the bath, and Levi watched the little waves ripple in the tub and the steam rise off of the waters’ surface.

“I’d, uh, I’d like to also check your ribs, but we can do that when you’re sitting in the tub – it’d make it easier.” Levi pulled his eyes from the tub and to the boy, taking in a slow breath.

“I can bathe myself,” he said, and Armin glanced away briefly.

“Si – Levi, you might be able to if you get lucky, but we really can’t afford you slipping and falling and hurting yourself. It’d be much easier and quicker if I helped you.” When Levi went to protest further, Armin hurried to interrupt him.

“At least let me help you in, check your ribs, and help wash your hair. And then I can leave so you can relax, and you can call me when you’re coming back out. Please,” he said, and Levi rolled his eyes in exasperation.

“Fine,” he muttered. He didn’t like people seeing his body – only two people had in the past handful of years – but he didn’t like the idea of falling and hitting his head open again, tearing the wound on his stomach open, fucking up his leg more than it was already and making them stay out here for another week until they attracted titans.

Levi used the crutches to pull him to the side of the tub where he sat on its ledge and balanced the crutches against the wall, and then he carefully pulled the baggy shirt over his head and dropped it on the ground, did the same with his underwear, and Armin had the decency to look away. He stood on one leg and one of Armin’s hands gently but firmly held his elbow, and the other sat on his waist. The touch made him suck air in, hands where hands shouldn’t be, and they manoeuvred him slowly into the tub until he was sitting in it, back against one end, and the water half-way up his chest.

The water was pleasantly hot and stung every little scrape and wound on his body, but it was clean and warm and nice. He much preferred showers, but he ignored the idea that bathing was just sitting in your own filth and focused on its warmth sinking into his cold bones.

“Can I check your ribs?” Armin asked softly, and Levi peeled his eyes open. He moved so that Armin could see them better, and his fingers dipped under the warm water, prodded along his ribs, and then around the visible bruising. Eventually, after what felt like too long for Levi, he pulled his hands back and dried them on a towel.

“Good thing is that they’re healing extremely well. You hadn’t hurt them too much in the first place, but that proves that we weren’t overlooking anything. They’ve just got some pretty bad bruises, maybe a little weak, but unless you go wearing that, ah, binder, or getting knocked into trees again, they should be fine.”

That was good news, and Levi sighed at that. The last thing he needed was for them to realise his ribcage had gotten messed up, too.

“Good,” Levi uttered, and then tipped his head back and closed his eyes again. Quietly Armin began to help him wash his hair out, and after a quick search of the cupboards he found a bar of shampoo that smelled like lavender, and he used that in the final rinse of his hair. He gave Levi a different bar of soap which he used to begin cleaning his arms first.

When Armin was done with his hair, he stood up, dried his hands on a towel again, and glanced briefly out the window.

“Your hair’s done, so I’ll let you relax in there. I’ll heat some of that stew up again if you’re hungry?” He offered, hovering awkwardly in the doorway and making a point of only looking at Levi’s face.

He didn’t feel particularly hungry, but either way he nodded slightly. “That’d be good. Thank you, Armin,” he said, and the blonde offered a soft smile before he ducked back into the living room, leaving the bathroom door cracked slightly open.

Now alone, Levi leaned back in the bath, moving carefully to not aggravate his wounds, and used the bar of soap to thoroughly clean the filth from his fingers, chest, legs, shoulders – anywhere he felt dirty, which was everywhere.

He felt tired when he was done but miles better now that he was clean, and he could tip his head back and slightly to the side and savour the warmth of the water. He wondered how far Mikasa was by now – in a perfect world, she’d already have reached everyone else, but he knew she probably, at the very least, still had an hour or so worth of riding to reach them. And that’s assuming she didn’t run into any titans. She’d hopefully manage to inform Erwin of their situation, get that spare horse or two, and they could rendezvous with everyone else by tomorrow or the next day at the latest.

He was still their Captain, and he’d already made an extremely risky move sending Mikasa out on her own. She was capable, though – currently the best out of all of them physically. She’d be fine, and he’d need to be ready for her return to head out, lead them back.

The most important thing now was his need to recover and heal as quickly as he could. Mikasa would return, and assuming she came with only two horses if they couldn’t spare anymore, her and Armin would have to share one. While it would be easier if someone else controlled the horse he rode, he knew he wouldn’t be able to sit with another person on it without aggravating his wounds. Mikasa would tell them where they were, or where they were heading, and they’d follow the safest route there. They’d sort food and supplies out for the trip, and see what Erwin was doing – if they were continuing the mission (he’d have a good time persuading Levi to go back into that forest in this state) or retreating early to the walls.

Levi thought briefly about the forest again. It was, without a doubt, the most unsettling place he’d been in. The entire place seemed darker than it should, and there was an ever-present feeling of dread as soon as he stepped inside. Not to mention the titans. He’d seen all kinds of the grotesque monsters, but never any like that. None with such pale skin, with those bony forms and dark hair, shadowed eyes. Not ones that were so oddly shaped, something just slightly off about their appearance, and none that could move so silently when they were right next to him in a forest. There hadn’t even been any signs of titans entering that forest. It was virtually impossible for some huge, messy giants to get into a dense forest and not leave some foot prints, some broken trees and branches. And not to mention the one that had said his fucking name.

He could hear its voice, airy and weak, echo in his mind like a whistle of cold wind, and it sent shivers down his spine. He’d need to report that with Erwin and most likely investigate them in another outing.

Eventually, the water began to get cold and unpleasant, and he heaved himself into a sitting position and pulled the plug in the bathtub. He swiped the towel from beside the tub and draped it around his shoulders. After a few moments he looked towards the slightly-open door, and heaved a breath.

“Armin,” he called gently, and he heard footsteps shuffle in the living room before the blonde nudged the door open and stepped inside. He offered a gentle smile, and in his hands he had another set of fresh clothes. Still way too big for Levi, but new.

He helped Levi get out of the tub and he dried the wounds before putting on some kind of paste on them and re-bandaging them. Once he had pulled the baggy clothes on, he held the door open for him as he hobbled out on his crutches.

He sat on the sofa in the living room, the crutches nearby, and Armin offered him some more kind of tea which he accepted gratefully.

“Depending on when Mikasa gets back and what she tells us,” he said, glancing over to Armin, “we might leave tomorrow. That’s assuming she gets back quickly today with some positive news, though. Just in case I want us to be ready. How much food do we have in here? And medical supplies?”

Armin pressed his lips together thoughtfully. “We still have a fair bit of that stew left – I’m cooking some just now for us – and some other rations around. The bandages are running a bit low, but we have plenty of paste and stitches. I can go reset those snares Mikasa set the other day for more food and hope we catch something before we leave,” he informed, and Levi rolled the information around in his mind before nodding.

“Alright,” he said, “that’s okay. I’ll just try not to bleed through these ones, or something.” He shrugged, and then leaned back in the chair. He was slightly anxious for Mikasa, but there wasn’t much he could do now but hope she had found everyone fine and didn’t encounter any trouble on the way back.

Armin gave him a bowl of that stew and they sat quietly while they ate it. He could feel anxiety rolling off Armin, but he didn’t bring that up, finishing his bowl of stew instead.

“Do you… Do you think Mikasa’s alright?” Armin perked up eventually, and Levi raised an eyebrow at him.

“Of course. She’ll be fine,” he said dismissively, watched Armin twitch and glance away.

“She’s probably reached everyone else by now. Hell, might even be on her way back, if she’s quick. She’s a good soldier, she’ll be fine, Armin. Relax.”

The blonde let out a quiet sigh, but nodded and murmured his “of course.”

“Unless you’re going to go set those snares or start packing up, something useful, go get some rest. She’ll still be a few hours at least, no point stressing yourself out when we’re already in a tight situation. I need you on your best game here, Armin.”

He startled slightly, wide blue eyes looking at him, and then he nodded determinedly. “Of course, you’re right,” he agreed, and glanced to the door.

“I’ll go set those snares and be right back,” he followed up, and got to his feet. His hand rested on the door handle and he turned around. “Do you need anything, before I leave?” He asked, and Levi waved a hand dismissively.

“I’m fine. Be safe,” he replied, and the boy nodded and ducked outside.

Levi’s eyes watched him go past the window, looking around the area, and then his eyes fluttered closed. A day or two more, he thought, and they’d be out of this horrific situation. He’d probably be heading back to the walls and he’d get a break from training cadets and entertaining Hange while he healed, and he’d get Erwin feeling guilty and willing to pour his tea at his demand. It’d all be fine, and that damned forest would be long forgotten.

Hopefully.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this part! The next will hopefully be out soon, that's a promise!


	11. Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter before some real shiz kicks in, but I hope you enjoy it!

While Armin was out Levi took the chance to explore the house. It was small, hardly more than a cabin, but had that homey feel to it. Levi could imagine a small family sitting by the fire and eating dinner together, a sweet mother tending to the garden outside with her child while the father went off hunting. It was a nice place, and Levi wondered who had lived here before. He didn’t look at the old pictures, though, a feeling of intrusion coming if he tried to turn one over.

There wasn’t much in the living room and kitchen – some food and general clutter. Off to one side on the counter were knives – his own, he realised. The ones he always had hidden with him, just in case, that Armin and Mikasa must have found when taking off his filthy uniform. His cloak was folded to one side, though, a few tears in it but it had obviously been scrubbed clean, or at least someone had attempted it. The straps from his gear were there, too, as well as the rest of his uniform. It looked like someone had tried to clean and stitch up some of the tears in it, but hadn’t finished it. He wondered if he’d rather show up in horrifically ill-fitting, scratchy old clothes, or a ragged uniform when they reached everyone else, and eventually, he took the uniform and cloak, found the needle and thread left next to it, and sat them on the coffee table and continued his search.

There wasn’t much in his bedroom that he hadn’t seen when he’d been laying in there previously. Nothing useful was in the bedside drawers or around the room, unsurprisingly, and he hobbled into the next room. There were layers of dust coating this bedroom, broken only by footprints – Armin’s – and the handle of the wardrobe. He assumed this must have been the parents bedroom, and he was probably currently wearing the father’s old clothes that were still here. There were books and little novelties around the room, but it had been kept rather simple, and there was nothing that would be useful to them.

He closed the door like it had been when he saw it, and then sat down with his uniform and the needle and thread. He was still fixing the tears in his cloak when the door opened and Armin came back inside. He startled slightly at seeing Levi still up and around, but closed the door and took his boots off, setting them aside.

“Mikasa had started cleaning and fixing your uniform,” he said, looking at the clothes in his hands, “I don’t know how far she got with it, though.”

Levi shrugged softly, threading the needle and pulling it through again. “She did a good job,” he commented, and Armin shuffled slightly before going through to the kitchen. His hands dipped into his pockets and pulled out some berries he’d found, setting them out along the counter.

He went back outside to fill another bucket with water and set that up in the kitchen to wash the berries, and Levi finished stitching his clothes. They were still in bad condition but would do better than the clothes currently on his back, especially once they started retreating and returned to the walls.

Armin gave him a handful of berries which he picked at absentmindedly, and he felt tiredness begin to creep back in slowly, settling in his bones.

He still felt… Almost bad for sleeping so much. The last time he slept so much, he thought, was when he was still in the Underground and he’d been practically dead for a month – either in a coma like state or completely delirious – and then took the better half of a year to fully recover from his injuries. The events of which he’d received those injuries still sent shivers down his spine, his heart pounding into overdrive, still haunted his nightmares.

Levi shook the memories away.

It had been ages since he’d been so exhausted and drained and weak, and it sent irritation and frustration running through him. They were in a horrific situation because of himself, and if anything else bad was to happen to them, he’d be helpless.

His short nails dug into the palms of his hand, and he got up.

“We should start packing,” he said, eyes turning towards Armin in the kitchen. “Mikasa could be back tonight and I want to be ready to move out as soon as she gets back. Check the houses for any bags we can fill and take with us.”

The blonde nodded, probably just as eager to leave and have the familiar safety of being with everyone else, and he began to check around the rooms for any bags they could use.

Levi hauled himself back to his feet using the crutches and also began searching. There was some rope in the kitchen and he thought he could use it to tie the crutches to his horses saddle while they rode, and in the meanwhile he wrapped it around his waist to keep a hold of it and then continued searching.

He made a mental note of all the food they had, and he took his and Armin’s canteens and filled them with water again, setting them on the kitchen counter, and then continued looking around the living room and kitchen to keep himself busy.

There wasn’t a whole lot to be found. There was the rope that would come in handy, a few little pouches they could put some rations in as well as multiple small tubs they could also use if they found bags to carry them in.

Levi leaned back against the counter until Armin returned and, much to his pleasure, holding two leather backpacks. They were small, but would hold enough for them. Armin took the pouches outside to go scavenging for more berries and Levi lit the stove under the remains of the stew to heat it up. He poured it into the tubs and then put them in the bags. With that done, he took his newly-sewn clothes and hobbled back into the bedroom he had been staying in. Slumping on the small bed, Levi unfolded his uniform and ran his fingers over the fabric, and then he pulls the baggy shirt he’s wearing over his head, folding it and setting at the end of his bed.

Pulling his uniform shirt up, something falls out of its’ folded fabric. It’s his binder, washed with only a small stain of blood left towards the bottom of it. He looked down at the artwork of bruises on his ribs, and when he took in a deep breath it gets cut short and he grimaced. He ended up setting it aside and pulling his shirt on, buttoning it up. He moved onto the trousers, kicking the baggy one off and folding it on top of the shirt.

He held the stitched ones up, and then looked to the bandage on his thigh. He closed his eyes for a moment, muttered under his breath, and pulled it up his legs slowly. He stood on his good leg to pull them up further and do the buttons. He could feel it pressing against the bandage since they’re form-fitting, but he assumed he’d lost weight since he’d not eaten much and had a fast metabolism in the first place, since they were slightly looser than they usually were. He was grateful for that now, though.

It’s more uncomfortable than the baggy clothes he had been wearing previous, but he’s able to move easier in them and he feels more normal in these. He set all the clothes on the bedside table and then lied down on the bed, huffing out a breath and letting his eyes close. It’s probably around midday and he’s already drained.

Part of him thought he should stay awake for Mikasa’s return, which he hoped would be tonight, while a different part said to get rest before they leave, knowing the journey will be taxing enough on his weakened body.

Eventually, the latter won, and he ended up drifting back to sleep on top of the bed covers, and Armin quietly busying himself in the living room.

 

When he woke up again, it was dark. No light filtered in through his window, and the only light coming in was from flickering candlelight in the other room. There were loud noises that sounded warbled to his ears and, for a moment, he was confused and disorientated. There was a loud knock at his bedroom door before it opened and someone strode inside. Instincts lit up and he reached for the knife under his pillow, but it was empty.

“Levi, wake up,” the person said, and then the voice registered; Mikasa.

His tense muscles relaxed and he blinked until his eyes adapted to the dark and he could make out the girl clearly.

“Some warning would have been nice,” Levi muttered and pulled himself slowly into a sitting position, pushing his hair back. “What happened?” He asked. She was tense, that much was obvious, and it seemed as if she’d just arrived and ran inside. Over her shoulder, he saw Armin coming in, wide eyed and anxiety rolling off him in waves.

“They weren’t there,” she said, and Levi felt ice run through his veins.

“What do you mean ‘they weren’t there’?” He asked slowly, suddenly extremely awake. He had to stop himself from standing right up, too, a jolt through his leg reminding him that was an extremely bad idea at the moment.

“They had been there – there were traces that they had been there – but it seemed like there had been a titan attack. More people were injured. I took what supplies were left and came back. I did get another two horses, so travelling back will be quicker. I took more gas and blades for Armin and I. My guess is they headed back to the walls – there were tracks heading in that direction, but it’s still at least two days travel to the walls so they’ll probably be stopping in nearby settlements.”

Levi absorbed the information with a sinking stomach, and he closed his eyes. “Fuck,” he muttered, twisted his fingers in the bedsheets beneath him and composed himself. Wasn’t Hange with them? Wouldn’t she have told them their situation and they would have been waiting a few days for them?

But they had. They had been waiting, like Mikasa said, they had been at that camp nearby for days, and left because of an attack. And there must have been bad casualties if they had been able to leave two horses and supplies behind. He thought of it from Erwin’s position.

He knew that one of his soldiers was badly injured – one of his best soldiers – and that they were safe with two other uninjured (not completely true, but they weren’t horrifically injured save for some sore bruising). He would wait a few days, perhaps up to a week, knowing that the three of them would most likely make their way back by then. He’d been assured by another soldier that it didn’t seem fatal, after all. They’d already had an attack while those soldiers were away, though, and may have faced casualties during that attack. They went to their next Plan B base, and continued to wait a few more days, but then had a bad attack from titans and faced more casualties, possible deaths. He’d have to choose whether to prioritise the three soldiers stranded by themselves, or the squad of capable soldiers that may need more medical care that he couldn’t give while outside the walls.

He probably would have retreated too. He can’t blame Erwin for his decision.

“I hope you didn’t take off any of the horses equipment,” he said, reaching for his crutches and getting to his feet.

“I thought you might say that,” Mikasa replied, and Levi’s lips twitch.

“Well, let’s go then. We need to catch up with Erwin and everyone, or get to the walls ourselves. We can’t stay out here any longer.”

Armin soundlessly opened and closed his mouth. “But, si – Levi, you’re in no condition to be travelling that far, for that long!” He said, and Levi shrugged.

“We haven’t got a choice, Armin. So let’s leave now and make it quick. Is everything packed up?” He asked, and the blonde hesitated for a moment longer before nodding.

“I packed the last of the food up while you were asleep,” he replied, shifting on the spot.

“Good. Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, if you did enjoy it, feel free to comment any feedback or if there's anything you think I should include or go over!
> 
> If you want to talk to me personally, my Tumblr is @killerrs-queen


	12. Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I just can't give them a break

They hurried to get to the horses, grabbing their bags and checking over the house one last time. Levi took one bag while Armin took the other, and Mikasa helped change the gas canisters and blades in Armin’s ODM gear, and then they left to the horses. Mikasa helped Levi onto one of the ones she brought back and helped to use the rope he’d found to tie the crutches onto the horse, and then they, finally, set off.

It was dark outside, which was pure luck for them, meaning the titans would be inactive until the morning – unless, he thought bitterly, there were more like the bizarre, unnatural ones in that unnatural forest that did attack at night. He tried to ignore that idea – they’d never seen that in this area, after all, and pessimism would get them nowhere.

Their horses ate the ground in long strides and they quickly oriented themselves on the right path and direction, using moon and starlight to see through the darkness.

Each stride jolted Levi forwards and backwards in the saddle, brought about an ache in his fragile ribs, stung his abdomen, and made fire burn in his leg. He pushed the pain away though, because there are way more important things at hand. He focused instead on returning to the rest of the Scouts, wondered how far they were, how close they were to the walls, what settlement they were staying in to rest, if they had even stopped yet.

The ache in his ribs spread through his entire torso and moved upwards until it was a steadily progressing migraine behind his eyes. His stomach churned with each gait, and he closed his eyes tightly against the pain and nausea. He wondered how long they’d been travelling so far, because he knew he was coming to the end of how long he could hold out. His knuckles were white on the horses reins and his nostrils flared with each breath.

“I think we should take a break,” Mikasa said, and he cracked his eyes open, sat up slightly straighter. Her gaze was on him, and he knew fully well she didn’t need a break.

“I think the horses would benefit from it.”

Armin turned to look at them, concern pinching the corners of his eyes when he looked at Levi, who pointedly ignored it.

“Yeah, good idea. It looks like it might rain anyway, and I’m quite tired,” he agreed, and then they went slightly off track. Levi let tension drip out of his shoulders, but then his horse stumbled and his thigh hit the saddle harshly and he saw stars, felt knives under his skin, bit his lip until he tasted blood that chased the groan back down his throat, held it in his chest.

They didn't find a place to rest for a while, though. They slowed down their pace, at least, but it didn’t help much anyway when he’s already burning. It did begin to rain which didn’t help things any bit.

“I don’t think there’s any places nearby,” Armin said, more so to himself, and Levi looked around the dark fields, saw absolutely no houses or ruins or any shelter, and he grit his teeth. There’s trees in the distance.

“The forest,” he said, and they looked at him with questioning eyes, “we can go there if you’re so desperate to have a break.”

Neither of them comment on that, but they nodded and turned course towards the towering trees. There’s no titans in sight and Mikasa used her gear to get Levi onto one of the tall branches, and as soon as his good foot landed on it he sunk down against the trunk of the tree and closed his eyes, draws in air through his tight throat.

“We might as well get a few hours of rest here before continuing, and hopefully the rain will go off before we leave,” Mikasa said, and Levi huffed out a breath in reply.

“Get some rest,” he said, and the two nodded. Mikasa stood on the branch above him and Armin was on the branch under him. It was odd when he was so used to always being the one in Mikasa’s position, watching out for the person injured beneath him, but now the positions had been swapped.

Levi’s head hit the trunk behind him, and he was faintly aware of the pain that stung him from the healing wound there, but darkness was approaching him. It put him on edge, made him feel like there was something bad there, but he was unconscious before he could put up a fight.

Branches cracked around him and wires hissed in the air, and he was falling. The heavy weight of ODM gear wasn’t comforting on his hips and instinctually he lashed out, tried to grab onto something. Something barrelled into him suddenly, arms around his waist, and he thought _Erwin_ , but no, the arms were wrong, too short and thin to be Erwin’s. Levi cracked his eyes open as wind ran through his hair, and saw short, dark hair, a red scarf. Mikasa.

“Stop struggling Levi or we’ll both go down,” she grunted, and he did, tried to get his bearings instead. When he looked behind them he saw the tree that he had been sleeping on, branches broken off, a titan still clawing at the bottom. There was the steaming corpse of one nearby, and Armin was dodging the strike of another.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” He asked. The sun had just risen.

“We tried. You wouldn’t. Armin thought you were dead,” Mikasa replied, tightened her grip on him and turned them around. She dropped him onto the branch of a different tree, and then she turned back around quickly. “They came suddenly as soon as the sun rose, possibly more coming. Don’t die,” she said, glanced at him who was leaning against the trunk, foot of his bad leg slightly raised. His chest rose and fell as he registered the pain greeting him. He nodded stiffly to Mikasa, and with that, the girl shot off again, towards the titans.

Levi closed his eyes briefly, sucked in a breath, and leaned back against the trunk. If Erwin didn’t get him three different kinds of the tea he liked when they got back, he was discharging himself from the Corps. He thought about what Mikasa said, was faintly shocked that he hadn’t woken up at all despite usually being a horrifically light sleeper, and tried to tell himself it wasn’t a bad thing. Of course he was tired, he needed the sleep.

He heard branches break as Armin and Mikasa attacked the titans, killing them with precise cuts to their napes, and a few minutes later Mikasa landed back on the branch again, turned towards him.

“Armin’s getting the horses,” she said, outstretched a hand to him. Levi pushed off the trunk and let Mikasa support him, and they waited until Armin appeared with three horses below them and waved them down.

Mikasa did try to make the landing gentle, he knew that, but it still left him gripping his saddle with white knuckles. They gave him a moment to compose himself first before they continued, hurrying away from the forest as blood steamed off of Armin and Mikasa’s clothes.

Sleep still lingered in the back of his mind like a thick fog, challenging him to give in, rest his forehead on the horses neck and fall asleep to its gentle strides. Except for each stride brought pain, leaning forwards made his abdomen ache, and it’d be impossible to fall asleep like that. Unconscious, maybe, but not asleep.

Levi trusted Mikasa and Armin to orient them so they were going in the correct direction, knowing he should probably trying to keep command, but he felt utterly miserable and they both knew it. He might as well try and just keep himself as comfortable as possible rather than putting on a brave face when it was just him and the two cadets who’d seen everything already.

And they’d seen everything. Levi’s stomach twisted at the thought. They hadn’t spoken about that since the first time, since they’d told him it changed nothing, that they had no plans of spreading the word to anyone. But that could be a lie. All it took was for them to confide in one other cadet – they were both close with Eren after all, and Eren had less control of his mouth and what came out of it – and then his entire reputation could be ruined.

Levi’s eyes flicked between the cadets either side of him. They were both facing forwards, steely determination in their eyes as they guided the way, occasionally surveying the area around for titans.

He supposed he could have been stranded with worse people.

Hange would have been insufferable, after all. If he’d been stranded with Erwin then everyone else would have been dead.

“I suspect they’ll reach the walls a day before us,” Mikasa said, and Levi turned his eyes back to her. He sighed softly, nodding. It was an unfortunate fact but a fact nonetheless. He knew from the moment Mikasa told him they had headed back that the chances they’d reach them before they reached the walls was slim.

“Erwin’s going to have hell in the form of paperwork to deal with,” he muttered. Not to mention the public impact it’d have, returning with ‘Humanity’s Strongest’ dead outside the walls and many casualties. Either way, Levi couldn’t wait to see his face when he hobbled into his office on some (admittedly well-made) crutches after certain death. That’d make him feel better at least.

“Is that what’s on your mind just now?” Mikasa asked, raised an eyebrow at him, and Levi snorted.

“He hates paperwork. Serves him right,” he simply replied, and pressed his lips together.

“How are you feeling?” Armin asked, tone soft, and Levi let out a breath.

“Like I’ve been punched by death,” he muttered sarcastically, and Mikasa snorted. “As long as we get back to the walls, I’ll live,” he added, just to make Armin feel a little better.

They fell into silence once more after that, Mikasa and Armin focusing on watching the area around them for titans and making sure they were heading in the right direction, Levi focuses on managing the pain.

They stopped after two hours. The horses had gotten slower and were probably hungry, thirsty and tired, and so were they. At the first sight of water they stopped, let the horses drink and graze, and pulled out their own rations at the same time and dug in. Armin offered to check his wounds again but Levi felt dread wash over him like a shower at the idea, so he batted him away with the excuse they didn’t have time and he was fine, they weren’t hurting any worse than they had been when he first woke up. None of that was a complete lie – he’d been in worse pain the very first time he woke up and was aware of the pain, at least, and they didn’t really have the time. He knew they weren’t bleeding, so they were fine.

They waited there as long as they could without going into a paranoia induced panic attack worrying about drawing titans towards them, and then they set off again.

They continued to have occasional breaks for themselves and the horses, and Levi tried to ride through the pain until it got too unbearable and he had to tap out before he thought he was actually making the injuries worse and causing more damage, which was something he felt strongly about avoiding.

They reached the next main settlement after the moon stole the sky and they were virtually asleep on their horses, and Armin saw Levi into one of the buildings while Mikasa set the horses aside and took their heavy equipment off – he did feel bad for them, riding for so long with insufficient breaks.

He sunk back against a wall, leaning his head back against it, and closed his eyes. The day could have gone worse, and they’d covered rather good ground, too. If they kept it up, he was hopeful that they wouldn’t need to stay another night outside the walls, too. It’d be a push, but he’d happily make it back to the walls exhausted rather than prolong their stay outside.

He heard Miaksa come inside, her boots tapping against the floor, and she sat next to Armin. He heard them talking quietly amongst one another but he didn’t make an effort to listen in, welcomed the absence of pain that sleep brought him.

 

_It was dark._

_An endless expanse of darkness stretched out in front of him forever, yet at the same time ended right in front of him like a brick wall. His nails, bleeding and broken, scratched and the stone beneath his fingers. Something scurried over his foot, and his heart raced. A bug landed on his knuckle, and he punched the wall with more force than was necessary to squash it._

_The wall broke away under his fingers, and Levi launched forwards, flung himself down the corridor. Teeth dug into his ankle and refused to let go, bugs flew around his head and buzzed, filthy, tiny feet explored his face._

_He tripped, and fell down into the dirt, the rats, bugs. They went for his eyes, claws scratched his cheekbones, and his hands covered his sensitive eyes quickly, let them tear the skin on his hands instead. They bit his feet and his ankles, bugs, some crawling, some running, some creeping, found gaps in his clothes, found new, previously untouched skin, and they were everyone._

_When he opened his mouth for air that his lungs begged him for, something fell past his lips. They weren’t even deterred when he retched, threw up, and he couldn’t get up if he tried. They were everywhere, filthy and tearing him apart._

_A hand pulled him out of the mass of filth, and when he opened his eyes, no bugs or rats to endanger them, and he sees Erwin, his blonde hair, blue eyes, fiery heart reaching him in the depths of the hell he lived in, and he followed the man into hell again and again and again, until a titan closed its teeth around Erwin, like it had to Farlan, to Isabel, to a nameless kid who’s Survey Corps emblem was in a drawer in his office, amongst a pile of other forgotten peoples emblems, and it spat Levi back out with a bloodstained grin and told him “everyone dies.”_

A hand on his shoulder, shaking gently, pulled him from the nightmare and Levi jolted enough to make pain greet him like a close enemy.

“We should go,” Mikasa said above him, a slowly clearing image. “Unless you need more time, but we are running thin on that.”

Levi blinked back images of blood and teeth, and shaked his head. “No,” he said, “let’s go.”

He used the wall to get up, found his crutches and followed Mikasa outside. The horses had their saddles back on, and as soon as his crutches were tied in place again, they set off. The ground was wet and muddy under the horses pounding hooves and the sky threatened to rain again. The chill of the early morning air bit his exposed skin and made Levi taste bile.

It did begin to rain a while later, fat drops of water hitting the top of his head, but it was refreshing. Sometimes it felt like drops of blood running down his school, but when it didn’t, it was nice. It cooled his hot skin, helped his dry lips.

They took a break for the horses and continued travelling shortly after. There was a different atmosphere around them now. They were less tense, more determined, enthusiastic as each stride brought them closer to the walls, to safety, and even Levi felt it, felt something akin to excitement to finally get back to the walls. It was still a while away, but each moment brought them closer.

He didn’t even worry when titans came out. Well, he did, of course. He wasn’t an idiot, he never got comfortable, compliant, but he trusted in Armin and Mikasa to take care of them swiftly. A simple cut to their nape and they’d be hurrying home once more.

One fell to Mikasa’s blade, and Levi waited for the twin reaction from the other one, yet it never came. There was a yell, almost a scream, but certainly not one from a titan. Mikasa was fine, though.

Levi saw Armin in its fist, his hands and legs pinned by its fingers, and struggling against the pressure. It’s large eyes watched Levi, helpless yards away on his horse, and it grinned.

If he had had his gear, the thing would have been dead by now. If he had had his gear, it wouldn’t have even gotten that close to Armin, wouldn’t have had a chance to grab him.

Armin yelled as its fingers pushed down against him again, and when Mikasa went for its nape, it leapt. Its legs and free hand flung it off the muddy ground, and it slid through the mud towards Levi’s rearing horse. His abdomen throbbed and his leg burned when he fell back off the saddle, felt mud splatter his skin as the horse ran, and he waited for it to grab him and drop him, Humanity’s Strongest, into its mouth with young Armin.

The hand with Armin came, opened slightly as it reached him, and Levi decided there were worse ways to go. Admittedly very few worse ways, but he could make the situation worse as well as he could make it better. He fell towards its hand and grabbed Armin’s shirt, his cloak, and yanked him back, threw him onto the muddy floor. Its hand closed with only him in it, and the titan reared back onto its feet. There was a puff of hot steam and a whiz of Mikasa’s ODM gear, and then he was falling, being thrown.

He thought he might live for a moment, too. If the thing hadn’t let go, or stood up so quickly, jerked its hand and added the momentum, but as the ground rushed to meet him he acknowledged that wasn’t going to happen.

As soon as he hit the ground he lost consciousness, metallic hisses of gear dying to his ears.

 

 

He was dead. Surely, he must be. There was no pain; no distant aching behind his eyes, no pain in his abdomen when he twisted, no fire in his leg. There wasn’t a fragility to his ribs or coldness in his bones, and he felt fine. More than fine; he felt good. The best he’d felt in a long while, he’d go so far as to say that.

“Levi bro!” She called, and his heart, which wasn’t beating, still sped up.

“Come on Levi, get up! Look at the stars while you can, Levi. They’re beautiful.”

He knew stars were beautiful. He’d seen them for years. Except… He felt like he hadn’t.

“I know,” he replied, and his throat didn’t hurt, his voice was strong.

“Then get up! Open your eyes and look!” She tugged his arm, but he felt it as if he isn’t in his body.

“I am.”

“You’re not!” Isabel said and he knew she’s pouting.

“We might as well go inside soon anyway,” Farlan spoke up, “Commander Smith is taking us outside the walls. I know you never sleep but you might want to consider the idea tonight.”

“Commander Smith?” He muttered, imagined blue eyes and a fist on his heart. Erwin Smith. Lips on his, strong heartbeat under his ear, firm presence. Authority, authority, care, respect. Following him into a different kind of hell than the one he was used to, understanding that there’s a reason he’s the Commander.

Levi saw Farlan and Isabel then, as if he’d just opened his eyes then, and they’re blurry, far away, not so real.

“Aren’t you excited to leave the walls?” Isabel asked, and Levi shook his head. No, no, he isn’t – wasn’t, it’s already happened. He knows what will happen – what’s already happened.

“We can’t,” he said, and Isabel sighed. Farlan looked sad.

“We miss you,” Farlan said, and Levi startled.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s not what we expected, is it?” He chuckled, shook his head. “Above ground. The Survey Corps. The people. It’s not much better. It’s all one big mess, another level of Hell, just in a disguise, something we weren’t used to.”

Farlan was never sad. Not sad like this, not depressed. Isabel looked like she might cry, and that’s wrong. She had always been happy.

“It never changes Levi. It hasn’t since we died and it never will. It just gets worse. More people go until it’s just you and the weight of your regrets and Levi, I don’t want to watch that happen to you.”

“Levi, just come back,” Isabel spoke up, and he can’t breathe. “Please. You’re so close. Just come with us.”

Isabel never begged like that. She never seriously begged for anything. She never would have spoken like that. Farlan never would have, either.

He stood up. He felt like he was underwater, the entire weight of that sea Eren and Armin always speak about pressing down on him. When he stepped towards them, they smiled, nodded encouragingly and stepped back, urged him forwards, further and further.

“Open your eyes, Levi.” They buzzed like static, faded away from him and turned angry.

“Hurry up, Levi,” they said together, reached out for him.

“Wake up. We’re not leaving you while you still have a heartbeat. Wake up and tell Armin you’re sorry. You’re scaring him, you runt.”

Right. Armin. Armin who he tore out of the titans hand and – he’s dead. Dying. There’s no way he survived that fall, the impact of hitting the ground.

“Get him on the horse. We’ve not got time for this, Armin. Either we stay out here for longer or we get back to the walls. If he dies out here, we can’t do anything. Watch his leg.”

His body hurt. His leg was on fire and his stomach ached. His head was murderous.

“I’m sorry,” he said to the shadows of Isabel and Farlan.

He opened his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It got more sad than I intended but... Hey, I hope you still enjoy it? If you did, feel free to comment! I love reading your feedback!


	13. Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I'll give them a break one day. Today is just not that day.
> 
> One more bit of angst, but I promise there is fluff coming to make up for it!
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!

He opened his eyes, and heard.

“Thank god.” It’s Mikasa. She sounded extremely relieved, though there’s an undertone of fear, concern.

He felt like he’s drowned. His body felt like static, tingling and occasionally numb and when it’s not it’s on fire, agonising and burning him. He isn’t sure what’s worse – his head or his leg.

“Don’t – don’t move, Levi. We still aren’t sure of all of your injuries, so be careful. Can you feel everything? Move your legs.”

It’s tedious, but he remembered the fall clearly and knew they need to check his spine. He’s almost scared for a moment, but his legs move fine, so do his feet and his toes. They just hurt like hell.

“Okay, good. That’s great. Do you remember what happened?”

It’s hard to talk. Or swallow. His tongue felt like heavy lead and he has to work his throat for several moments, and when he first tried to talk he got confused, as if he’d forgotten how to. Mikasa’s fingers dig into his arm until he jolted, realised he didn’t reply.

“Titan,” he said, and his voice was weak and quiet. “Grabbed Armin, threw me. We need… We need to go.”

“We do,” she agreed, and then, “how many fingers am I holding up?”

Since when had she become a doctor? He thought, but sighed. He opened his eyes, or he thought he did – he thought he had in the first place – but nothing changes. A shift in light, maybe. His sight went from the back of his eyelids to slightly colourful shadows and blobs. He raised a hand with a grimace, rested it on his face. He closed his eyes and touched his eyelids, opene them – felt with his fingers that they’re open – and he felt a fear he didn’t think he’d felt before.

“Levi?”

“We need to hurry,” he said and tried to sit up. Every part of his body protested the movement.

“You hit your head. You could have broken your spine, you could have lost your memory, you could have died. We need to take our time. Armin’s already checked your other wounds – the one on your abdomen got torn open. You’re damn lucky the one on your thigh didn’t. Your head was bleeding. We’ve only got two more bandages and I can’t stitch anything back up out here. We need to get back to the walls now, but I need to know how bad you hit your head.”

Levi took the information in with some kind of distant fascination. He really might die when they’re so close. His immune system is already dead, he’s basically a wet dream for germs and infection. He didn’t know exactly how much blood he’d lost. He couldn’t even walk. If he hit his head just right, he could have seizures, strokes. He couldn’t see.

Out of all the ways Levi thought he would die, he didn’t think about this.

“If you weren’t so pathetically weak right now I’d slap some sense into you, Captain. Can you see or not?”

Levi grit his teeth. He couldn’t die, not just yet. Out of all the ways he imagined he would die, laying down on his back and accepting death was never one of them, and it never will be. He isn’t that pathetic.

“No.”

“Thank you. You’ll ride on my horse. We’re still half a day or so away from the wall, but we can make quick progress. If you need a break, you better tell me.”

Levi pressed his lips together, nodded gently so it didn’t make dizziness and nausea grip him.

“How’s Armin?” He asked. The kid has been suspiciously quiet so far. Mikasa hesitated.

“The titan broke his left wrist, fractured a rib, hurt his shoulder, but it’s nothing serious. He’s coming back with the second horse just now, if you weren’t sure why you couldn’t hear him. I’m going to help you stand now. We lost your crutches with the other horse.”

Levi thought about how much bad luck he has, but he nodded and let Mikasa manoeuvre his arms around her. Two seconds later and pain made him taste bile, but he’s standing. He heard horses hooves, and Armin sighed in relief.

“Levi! Are you okay? I was really worried.”

Levi remembered a time that Armin almost shook when approaching Levi. The memory made his lips twitch.

“I’ve been better,” he simply replied, and kept his head tilted down slightly

They hurry to get onto the horses and Levi ended up sitting in front of Mikasa, her arms reaching around him to the reins. It’s the best position – it stops him from sliding off the horse if he were to fall or slip or pass out, and didn’t have any pressure on his stomach or thigh that would be there if he was sitting behind her.

 

“How close are we?” He asked some time later. He didn’t know what time it is or how far they’ve travelled now that he, well, can’t see. He knew he’s coming to the point where he can’t bear the pain riding brings him and that he needed a break, but that wasn’t exactly an accurate measurement of travelling.

“Still a while. At this rate I almost think it’d be better to find a settlement or camp – somewhere – to stay the night and let the horses rest, but… I’m not sure if that would be a good idea for you,” Mikasa replied. She slowed their horse down and he heard Armin do the same.

Levi pressed his lips together, closed his eyes – it doesn’t make much of a difference – and tilted his head up. His stomach churned and his body trembled. His skin was hot and his breath wheezed slightly with the effort.

“Take a break now,” he said, “if there’s water nearby, go there and we’ll let the horses rest.”

He knew Mikasa nodded, and they rode for a few more moments before coming to a stop. They got off the horse and the motions made Levi’s head spin and his one good knee gave out. He blacked out for a second. Mikasa’s hands caught under his arms and he realised he’s lying on the floor.

“Good?” She asked, and Levi grunted. He rested his hands on his face, ran them through his sweat-dampened hair, and moaned silently into his palms.

“Can I check your stomach and head Levi?” Armin’s voice was gentle, and Levi turned his head towards it.

“You should be resting too,” he said, “I’m fine.”

“We’ve done what we can for me, I’m fine now and I don’t really believe that, sorry.”

Nor does Levi, but still. His stomach lurched and he had a second to move before he’s throwing up into the grass.

He fell back, his chest heaving and a bead of sweat running down his forehead.

“Okay,” he said with a heavy breath, and heard Armin shuffle over to him. Levi realised his shirt was probably stained with even more blood now, and he let out a miserable sigh.

For whatever his stomach looks like, Armin didn’t even hesitate or curse. He cleaned the wound as best as he can and redressed it, and helped Levi sit up to look at the back of his head. When he’s done, he helped Levi lay back down and then got up.

“I cleaned it up a bit which will hopefully keep infections out,” he said, Levi heard him washing his hands in the water, “we’ll just have to watch it until we get back into the walls.”

He took a few steps away, and Levi heard Mikasa follow. He knew they’re most likely talking about him but he couldn’t bring himself to try and listen in. Levi watched the lights in his vision change as clouds block the sun from view or a short above him moves in the wind, and then it fades to black.

 

“Levi, get up. We’re moving again.”

Mikasa nudged his arm gently, and Levi momentarily panicked when he opened his eyes and he saw nothing more than light and colour. For a moment, he wished that everything had just been some big nightmare, but the lack of sight and the pain that washed over him in waves proved that wrong.

“What time is it?” He asked, put a hand to his abdomen when he sat up.

“It’s still dark. Probably an hour or so until sunrise,” Mikasa replied, and he nodded, breathing slowly through his nose.

“Where did you learn all your… Medical knowledge?” He asked. It wasn’t important, but he was fairly impressed. “Should become a field doctor,” he muttered. They needed those, actually. He and Erwin had discussed having field doctors with them when they went outside of the walls. They’d have to divert attention to making sure they didn’t get hurt – they most likely wouldn’t be overly trained to kill titans, but just enough to help themselves if they had to. They’d decided it might help keep the casualty and loss rate lower if the doctor was trained well.

“We need to go, Levi,” Mikasa urged, and Levi grit his teeth. He was forgetting the urgency of the situation. He nodded, shifted onto his knees, and Mikasa’s hands helped pull him to his feet. She helped Levi onto their horses first, and then he heard her going towards Armin and helping him up, too, before joining Levi on their horse.

“You’re off duties for two weeks,” Levi muttered, and Mikasa hummed questioningly. She sat tall behind him, and he could virtually feel the determination rolling off her. The one-hundred and fourth was an impressive group of cadets, he had to admit.

“You two,” Levi repeated quietly, “are off your duties for two weeks. Make someone else make your bed, take a break.”

“That’s – that’s not necessary, sir,” Armin squeaked to his left.

“Levi,” he corrected, “and I’d be long dead if not for you two. Make sure Erwin let’s that happen.” He knew Erwin would most likely reward them even if Levi hadn’t, but still.

“You can make sure of that yourself,” Mikasa said. Levi didn’t reply. He focused on the horses’ strides, how it rocked him back and forth, how he felt his hand stained with blood from resting on his abdomen, how his head swam and his chest hurt with the need to cough. If he even made it back to the walls, he’d have to resign. He couldn’t fight anymore, would only be a burden outside of the walls. He couldn’t even train cadets anymore, couldn’t be trusted to even watch over them. He was useless, and he tried to think if he’d rather live that kind of life or die a few hours from the wall.

He thought Mikasa might have said something else, his name maybe, but he wasn’t too sure. Everything was a bit of a blur, melting together like a mess of candle wax, burning him. The pain, though, that was a constant presence all throughout every inch of his body. He needn’t move a certain way to find it – it found him, even if he tried to evade it in unconsciousness. There was a pain in his neck, which was new – a specific, noticeable pain rather than a constant ache, a throbbing.

A hand gripped his shoulder and pushed him into darkness.

 

“Levi. Levi. Get up, Levi.”

Hands on his shoulders, hands moving down to his arms, a hand on his cheek. Cold, slender fingers, harsh on his skin.

“Even if you don’t have a huge ego, I can’t carry you inside. Now, get up, Levi.”

It had been a long while since a cadet – anyone except for Erwin or Hange – had spoken to him like that. It was almost refreshing.

He moved and the pain in his stomach and thigh made him choke, his fingers twitch and his limbs cramp.

“We’re almost at the walls,” she, Mikasa, said. He had forgotten they were out there. “We’ll be there shortly and I’ll need to get their attention to let us back in, and it’ll go much better with you awake.”

Levi opened his eyes, saw nothing – or, no. It was still virtually nothing, but slightly more than the last time he remembered. There were more distinct colours rather than a mess of dark blobs of dark greens and browns. His throat was extremely dry.

They needed to get back in the walls. He was Humanity’s Strongest, and the bad impact it would have – on him, on the Survey Corps, on Erwin, on humanity – to have him, blood stained, unconscious, carried inside the walls by two tired, battered cadets.

He nodded subtly, sat up and held his abdomen, and tried to look as alive as he could as Mikasa nudged the horse on. Wind pushed his hair back and he listened to their hooves pounding the ground. One of Mikasa’s arms disappeared from the reins, waved high above their heads, and she called out. He was sure Armin was waving all the same. Levi, too, raised his arms, waved out in front of them, and assumed they were waving to the officers patrolling the walls.

“Corporal Levi!” The voice just reached his ears from the walls, and there was a hiss from ODM gear.

“Corporal Levi – shit – are you alright, sir? Sofia, go tell them to open the gate and –“

He can tell that the person, standing by his horse, though Levi looked up towards the walls, and then at his hands, is young. Maybe a cadet. He hears ODM gear work as Sofia, he presumed, climbed back up the wall to order the gate be opened.

“I need a carriage back to the Survey Corps,” he said, kept his voice strong, “and a doctor to accompany us. Send word for Commander Erwin, too.”

“Yes, sir,” the boy replied, and Levi heard the gate beginning to groan as it opened.

“When did they come through?” Levi asked, startled slightly when the horse began to move again. There was more sounds of ODM gear, and thuds as people hit the ground.

“Just early yesterday, sir. There was… A lot of talk about you not returning, sir.” Of course there was, he thought, and then –

“Corporal Levi.” Pyxis.

“You’re still alive.”

“Of course. Not for much longer if you want to chit chat out here, though,” Levi replied, and the man chuckled softly.

“Fair enough. I’ll ask what happened later, then, I guess.”

“I think that’s a good idea.”

He could hear chatting, heard when the horses hooves stopped making thuds on grass and dirt and clicked onto cobblestone, and tension flooded out of his body.

They were in the walls. They were inside. They were safe.

He could hear the gate closing behind him, and the horse stopped.

“Corporal Levi, sir, the carriage for you is just down the street – the one for the cadets is on its way.”

Levi waved a hand, felt Mikasa slide off the horse and then she touched his calf. He carefully pulled his leg over the side of the horse, let Mikasa support him when he slid off it.

“Forget that. They’re coming with me.”

There was a moment of hesitance, before the man relented. “Of course, sorry, sir. The doctor is by the carriage. I’ll – I’ll go get the door.”

“And to think, Erwin’s probably still unaware, ass-deep in some paperwork,” Pyxis commented to his left. He rested a hand on Levi’s left elbow, and then moved it to his back when he saw the way he didn’t put one foot down. He heard more footsteps – quite a few around them – and he suspected it’s Pyxis’s doing, making a man barrier between Levi and the public. He knew it was important for the public to see him alive and standing, but that was it. Not alive and standing with help, bloody and not making eye contact – not looking at anything in particular, other than maybe the ground.

“Serves his shitty-ass right,” Levi muttered sarcastically, and Pyxis snorted. He looked around – not that it’d do anything – and then forwards again. “Armin?”

“Just back here, sir! I – I had to give the horses over,” he called back, a few paces behind Levi, and he nodded, let out a sigh. They slowed down, and Mikasa nudged his hand. He reached out and another hand clasped in his, shook it.

“It’s great to see you back, Corporal,” said a man, “I’m Doctor Nyle, we’ll talk inside.”

He knew the man, vaguely. He had heard of his reputation at least, and he trusted him enough to let him in the carriage, to let him see him weak and see his wounds, so he let out an approving noise.

Levi nodded, took his hand back, and let Mikasa and Pyxis guide him into the carriage, into a seat. He heard Mikasa and Armin sit down inside, and then the doctor. He sunk back into the slightly uncomfortable seat, turned his head so the throbbing back of it didn’t hit anything.

“I’ll see you around, Levi. Try not to die again,” Pyxis said, and Levi snorted.

“Ditto, old man,” he replied, and then the carriage door fell closed. Levi closed his eyes, took a shaking breath, and remembered there was a doctor in the carriage. His head throbs and he feels like his entire body wants to weep.

“Can I ask what wounds you know of first?”

When Levi opened his mouth, no sound came out. His tongue felt heavy and his throat tight. A tremor seized his body for a moment.

“Corporal?”

He licked his dry lips, dropped his hand from his abdomen. Someone nudged his arm – probably Mikasa, she was always urging him to reply, to act like a Captain when he had to – and he shrugged his shoulder in her direction.

“Tell h’m,” he murmured, dug his nails into the seat by his thighs and tried to fight the attractive unconsciousness looming over him.

Mikasa did. She listed the wounds and how he got them, explained about the fall and how it tore the one on his abdomen, how he hit his head, how his vision went after the fall. As they spoke, they rolled his shirt up past his abdomen and he felt something clean the blood off his hot, sensitive skin, sending electricity rippling through him, made his limbs twitch.

“What’s your vision like now, corporal? Has it gotten any worse or better? Is it completely gone?” The doctor asked, and it registered that he was asking Levi. He cracked his eyes open once more, saw the shadow in front of him.

“Better. I can see… Shadows, colour. Nothing else.”

It’s not really positive, but the doctor seems to take it that way.

“That’s good. This kind of thing can be permanent, just as it can be temporary. If you’re lucky, your sight might even be back by tomorrow. It could, also, take up to closer to a month, though, or never be as good as it was. I can’t do much for it in a carriage, and I don’t want to try in case I make it any worse.”

He seemed to turn to Mikasa, then. “How’s his speech? Balance? Has he had any seizures, strokes, memory loss?”

Levi decided that, if he was no longer needed for more questions, there was no point in listening. He trusted Mikasa and Armin – he trusted them outside the walls, he could trust them in a carriage – but he felt a sense of urgency flood him.

“Armin,” he muttered, noticed Mikasa and the doctor stopped talking at his suddenness, “check his wrist, and check his ribs.”

He hadn’t been the only one the titan had caught, and there was no doubt the kid was tired and in pain. He heard the doctor address Armin, and the kid sheepishly brought up his wrist and ribs. Satisfied, Levi slumped back against the seat and felt exhaustion sing in the depths of his bones.

“You should rest now, Corporal. We’re still a while away from the Survey Corps base and I’ll wake you if I have to, but you need the rest. You might not want to be awake if I have to prod at these anyway.”

Levi thought he agreed with that, and Mikasa nudged him slightly. It wasn’t urgent or telling him to do something, but assuring when they couldn’t voice it.

He thought about the pain that made him see stars, made his knuckles grip the nearest thing until they were white. The blaze of fire that made his skin sweat and shake.

He wheezed in a breath and welcomed the darkness this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I hope you enjoyed it, and if you did feel free to give any feedback, commentary, or your opinion of it! I love hearing what you think.  
> You can reach me on Tumblr @Killerrs_Queen if you want to message me!
> 
> Also, I have the end in sight. Still a few chapters away (probably) but in sight, but I'm thinking of a sequel. I had quite a lot of info at the beginning of this - that settlement in the forest, a different type of titans, someone sabotaging the scouts with the fire - and the sequel would probably be about that, more action based. What do you guys think of that?


	14. Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some slight fluff, and more to come! Enjoy!

It’s unnerving, waking up so many times in such a short period of time, going so suddenly from peaceful nothingness to an assault of feelings, of pain.

When he woke up, this time again, there was an odd burn on his abdomen and it felt like there had been a kick to his thigh. He was still in the carriage – he could tell that easily by the sway beneath him, the sound of the wheels going over the cobblestone roads.

“Glad to see you’re with us again, Corporal.”

Levi grimaced slightly, slowly sat up straighter.

“How close to the base are we?” He asked, turning towards the brightness of the window. The curtains were open. He could hear people outside over the heavy thuds of the horses’ hooves

“Maybe another hour or so. I’ve cleaned and disinfected your wounds and re-bandaged them with some better and cleaner bandages. I’d like to re-stitch them as well, once the carriage stops moving, or any of the doctors that are on base as quickly as possible. I didn’t want to risk it with the moving carriage, but they’re not bleeding anymore.”

Levi hummed quietly in acknowledgement. “Armin?” He turned towards where the blonde had last been sitting across from him.

“I’m good, sir,” Armin said, slightly to the right, “my wrist and ribs are fine. Doctor Nyle saw to them after you.”

“Obviously not ‘fine’, but better,” he corrected, and Armin let out a small breath but agreed with him.

Satisfied, he tried to think whether or not Mikasa had gotten hurt. He didn’t think she had – he would have noticed it before he lost his sight, and she hadn’t gotten hurt after. So he thought she was fine, maybe other than some exhaustion.

They were safe.

Levi leaned back in his seat, a hand over the thick bandages on his stomach – his shirt was still unbuttoned from the bottom, leaving the lower half undone, but he couldn’t be bothered fixing it. He let it be, and closed his eyes.

He thought, briefly, about the paperwork he’d have to do, the reports he’d have to fill, and then remembered he couldn’t see – might never again, even if Doctor Nyle had been optimistic about it – but also thought about Erwin. He could – would – make Erwin do any and all of the paperwork he might have for the next month. Or, no, he wouldn’t, because Erwin would be balls-deep in worry and guilt, even if he’d never let Levi know it.

He’d make Hange do all of his paperwork, then. He could live with that.

Back to Erwin. He wanted to hear his voice, feel his presence beside him again. See his blue, blue eyes again.

There’s something about that man. Something that claimed Levi years ago – maybe claimed him the first time they locked eyes in the slums of the underground, or the time he kneeled in the same puddle Mike shoved his face into. Or maybe it had been when he was covered in blood and mud and tears and Erwin cut his hand on the blade Levi tried to kill him with, and then kneeled in front of him again. He didn’t know, but Erwin had him chained to his side, and he hadn’t even done it himself. He’d put a chain on the table and Levi had chained himself to him. Hell, he hadn’t even given him a fucking chain. Levi had acted like there was a chain, willingly kept himself always a pace behind him, followed each order that came out of his mouth.

Before Erwin Smith, Levi would have thought there was no men in existence that could do what Erwin does, no one could make people follow someone into a hell like the one outside the walls like Erwin could. Levi’s respect for the man was never-ending, and if there was going to be someone Levi would trust, it would be Erwin.

Levi zoned out once more, grimaced whenever the wheels of the carriage ran through a ditch, some broken stones in the road and jostled him slightly in the seats. He listened to voices outside – parents yelling for their kids, kids laughing and shouting and running down the streets, horses trotting down the street.

 

Then it happened.

The cart slowed to a halt and they peered out of the windows of the carriage.

“Looks like we’re here,” Doctor Nyle said, and Levi felt his heart speed up. The door opened and he got out, followed by Armin, and Mikasa and the doctor helped Levi get out. Remembering the layout, they should be a few paces away from the entrance.

“Levi!” A sharp, unmistakeable cry. Hange, of course, and by the sound of it she jumped forwards, only just getting grabbed before she could barrel into Levi.

“Contain yourself, Hange,” he said, “I’ll still kick you if you touch me with your filthy hands.”

An emotional sob of laughter, and Levi swore he’d kick her anyway if she was emotional.

“We have doctors waiting for you all in the infirmary.”

Erwin’s voice, and it made his knees weak. God, hearing it in person was much better than replaying it in his memories. 

He almost closed his eyes, almost tipped his head back and drowned in the sound, in the feeling being in the Commander’s presence gave him. Radiating authority, trust, security, so much so it made his body quiver.

“Can you walk? If I had known your condition I would have brought out a wheelchair –“

“And I would have broken your legs, Commander.”

He’s sure Erwin’s lips twitched – they always do at his comments – but he nodded.

“I can.” He couldn’t, Erwin knew that. Mikasa’s arm was around his waist, and Doctor Nyle’s hand was on his shoulder. All together they made their way inside, and Levi remembered each turn and each step they took, their shoes shuffling across the wooden floor.

“The halls are usually teeming with brats,” Levi commented, looked at the floor. He could only hear them.

“Training. I got word of your return and decided you wouldn’t want all of the cadets around. Speaking of – Armin, Mikasa. I want to talk to you later, but for now you are dismissed.” 

“They’re coming,” Levi said, almost too quickly, “they need to be treated, too.”

He heard Erwin hum, knew he nodded, and he said, “understood,” and didn’t comment on their presence again.

They paused as they opened a door, and then entered the infirmary. He was guided inside and his legs hit a bed, and then Doctor Nyle and Mikasa were lowering him onto it until he was laying on the thin mattress.

“We have it handled from here, Doctor Nyle. Thank you so much for your help.”

“Of course, Commander. Make sure he gets some food and some rest.” Footsteps left the infirmary, and then the door closed.

“Corporal Levi.” Doctor Beck. She’d been his doctor for years, and her voice was a relief to him. She, in many ways, reminded him of Petra – they had been close, too. “Glad to see you alive. Where am I starting?”

He felt tired again. He wanted to swipe papers off Erwin’s desk and sit on it in front of Erwin, and wanted Erwin and him to be alone and everything to be fine.

He closed his eyes, turned his head to the side because the back hurt too much. “Preferably with drugs,” he muttered, waved a hand, “see to Armin. Mikasa’s probably exhausted and dehydrated.”

“Doctor Nyle needed to re-stitch the wound on his stomach and the back of his neck but the carriage ride was too bumpy. There’s also the wound on his thigh, and –“

Levi opened his eyes, and Mikasa paused. Beck’s hands moved his bloody shirt up to look at the bandaging, and he arched his back slightly so that she could unwind the bandages around his torso.

“Well?” Beck urged, and he knew Mikasa was staring daggers into him. He glared at the white ceiling above him.

“I hit my head on the way back,” Levi said, “and I can’t see shit at the moment.”

There was a heavy silence that fell in the room, and Levi dug his fingers into the bed beneath him. “Don’t fucking look at me like that –“

“Now, Levi, how would you know how we were looking at you?”

“Hange,” Erwin cut her off, voice cold and tense.

“Can we focus on the fucking hole in my thigh or the gash on my stomach?” Levi barked, pressed his head into the pillow and moaned when it made fire burn behind his eyes.

He forgot how dysfunctional the veterans were. He’d gotten used to the teamwork, the respect and authority of working with the cadets, forgotten the bullshittery that happened when you had survived a hundred missions with the same people and couldn’t care less.

Thankfully, though, they did. Beck put some pills in his hand that he swallowed dry, and they kicked in within minutes, made everything dissolve and run through his fingers like sand. He felt the way his skin tugged as it was stitched back together but it didn’t bring him any pain. He felt the world spin as he rolled onto his side, felt his fingers twitch as other fingers probed the back of his head, cleaned the blood out of his hair and stitched the wound. Then they were at his thigh, cleaning and fixing the stitches and prodding his thigh.

“That’s all I can do for you now – I’ll keep checking on them and cleaning them and checking your condition – but for now, you’re stuck here, corporal. You need rest before you go aggravating your head – there’s a lot of swelling which is probably part of the problem with your sight, but luckily no internal bleeding that I can tell of. I’m sure Doctor Nyle’s told you everything about that, though.”

“He has,” Levi murmured, and sucked in a breath.

“If you need me, yell. I’ll be at the bed at the other side of the room with the cadets.”

“I’ll make sure to do that,” Levi groaned, sunk into the bed.

“Hange, fuck off.” There was a startle to the side of his bed.

“I’ve not even said anything!” She exclaimed.

“I can hear your heavy breathing. Stop thinking so much and go train cadets or something.”

“You just rose from the dead, Levi, am I not allowed to be by your side?”

He turned his eyes to where he thought she was, and she blocked the light as she stood in front of him.

“Alright, fine. I’ll find you later, though.”

He heard her footsteps, heard the heavy door groan open and thud closed, and then Levi turned his head slightly.

“Is your room clean?” He asked.

“What?”

“Your room, Erwin. Is it clean?”

“To your standards, probably not. To mine, I would say so.”

“So that’s a no,” Levi muttered sarcastically, slid down the bed slightly and sighed. “I don’t want to stay in some shitty infirmary bed.”

Erwin hummed, and he heard the scrape of a chair as he pulled it to his bed.

“You never do,” he commented, and Levi snorted. “I’ll get it sorted by tonight.”

“Good,” Levi sighed, and let his eyes close. They were quiet for a few minutes other than the doctor fussing over Armin and Mikasa, but at some point after they had been thoroughly checked over, the doctor dismissed them back to their rooms with Erwin saying he would speak to them after they had eaten and rested. Doctor Beck returned to them, her tone strict as she told the Commander that he was to leave Levi alone to rest within half an hour and he wasn’t allowed to talk business and stress him out. It was amusing hearing the small women talking to the commander like she was, and the situation was familiar – every time he, Hange, any elite soldier had gotten injured, Beck would limit their visiting time so they couldn’t talk about anything potentially stressful.

“Of course,” Erwin said, slight amusement in his words. The doctor was satisfied, though, and he heard her footsteps as she left the infirmary. The door closed with a thud, and it was just Erwin and himself.

“What happened?” Levi asked. “I know there were casualties, yet the infirmary is empty.”

“You shouldn’t be focused on that just now, Levi. The infirmary didn’t have sufficient equipment or enough room, so the casualties are together in the hospital further in.”

Levi pressed his lips together. The infirmary here was rather small, only four beds in the room, but he didn’t like the idea that they didn’t have good enough medicine here. There wasn’t anything he could do about that, though, so he simply nodded his head.

“I’ll tell you what happened when you’re feeling better. For now, just focus on getting better.”

“We need to talk about it,” Levi said, voice sharp and cold. He could imagine Erwin’s expression right now – knowing, slightly sad, confident.

“About what, Levi?” He asked, and Levi’s lips pulled back from his teeth in a moment of anger. He lifted and turned his head fast enough to make him feel like he was falling and turn his snarl into a grimace – the painkillers he had been given were only just beginning to take effect – and attempted a glare in Erwin’s direction. He saw a light shape, vaguely human-shaped, but couldn’t even see his eyes, any part of his face.

“What am I supposed to do now?” He asked, pressing his fingers into the bed under him. “Am I even looking at you right now? I’m no good to you or the Corps anymore. I can’t even look after a group of cadets.”

“Your sight has already improved, Levi. And though I can’t say if it will continue to do so and to what extent, there’s no point trying to decide what’s going to happen when we don’t know how this will progress. And,” fingers clutched his chin and Levi startled slightly at the sudden touch he couldn’t even see coming, and it turned his head slightly to the right, “now you are.”

Levi closed his eyes, forced tension out of his shoulders and forced himself to breathe evenly. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do if this was his new life; he wouldn’t be able to leave the walls, wouldn’t be able to be by Erwin’s side whenever they lead new cadets into Hell, he wouldn’t even be trusted to wipe his own ass. Yet, he wanted to believe Erwin. He had never regretted believing every word that came out of his mouth.

“You should be resting,” Erwin murmured when Levi didn’t respond. His fingers were still firmly on his chin, stretching across his jaw.

“You know I’ve never been good at that,” Levi replied, and Erwin chuckled, soft and low.

“Now’s a good time to start.”

Levi shrugged and rolled his eyes before letting them fall closed once more. He was tired and weary and drained in every sense of the word, in every way one could be. He still felt like he could close his eyes and the next time he opened them he would be outside of the walls, with no gear, unable to walk, unable to see, and just have to listen as titans drew nearer and nearer. It sent a shiver down his spine and Erwin’s fingers dug into his jaw almost harshly, brought him back to reality.

“I was worried I’d have to read some speech at your funeral,” Erwin said, and Levi snorted.

“And what would you say about me?” He asked almost teasingly.

Erwin hummed thoughtfully, his hands drifting down from his jaw, tickling his neck and resting on his forearm.

“Possibly something along the lines of ‘he tackled cleaning duties with more enthusiasm than the rest of his humanity-saving job’ or bring up your love of shit jokes.”

Levi snorted, slid back down in the bed. “You’re an arse, Erwin Smith.”

“I’ll quote you on that.”

“Fucking do it.”

They fall quiet, and Erwin’s hand, still on his arm, was warm. He felt weird without the pain he’d gotten so accustomed to for the past few days, but it was pleasant. He could focus on Erwin’s presence next to him even if his forehead fell against the cool side bar of the infirmary bed and he felt awareness and consciousness slipping away from him for a second or two before he snapped back.

Erwin’s chair scraped the floor and his hand disappeared, and Levi woke up in time to grab it, tug him back to the side of the bed.

“Did I tell you to leave?” He asked rhetorically, his voice breathy and quiet. He cracked his eyes open, faltered when he couldn’t make anything out except for white shirt and fair skin, but tightened his hold.

With a small laugh Erwin pulled his seat back next to the bed Levi had complained about, and he sat back down, moved his hand out of Levi’s grip and to his cheek that wasn’t pressed against a pillow.

“Don’t make me think I’ll have to hold a funeral for you without a body again,” the Commander uttered, so quiet that Levi’s half-asleep and drugged ears almost didn’t catch it. Almost.

“I make no promises.”

His thumb swept over his cheekbone, higher to brush hair away from where it fell across his eyes. “Levi.”

The raven forced his eyes open and hauled himself into a slouched sitting position, put a hand over Erwin’s and held it in place. Erwin’s face was a few inches away from his own, close enough he could feel his breath against his skin.

“Is that an order, Erwin?” He mused, and Erwin’s nose brushed along his cheek and he huffed out a small amused breath.

“Yes,” he confirmed, and Levi closed his eyes, imagined the clear image of Erwin instead of the blurry one before him now.

“Anything for you, Commander,” he uttered, and then leaned closer and caught his lips. It was gentle and soft, and Levi slid his fingers between Erwin’s on the hand he was still holding by his face.

Levi ignored how perfect it felt, realising how much he’d actually missed Erwin and almost gotten used to the idea that he’d never see him again (he was still latching onto that fear, however) or hear or feel him again, and how much he hadn’t wanted that. It made emotions wrap around his ribs like dark tendrils and tighten around his chest, made him lean closer to the Commander.

Erwin pulled back and Levi kept his eyes closed, kept the picture of his blue, blue eyes clear as day in his head, and carefully slid back down on the bed.

“Don’t leave just yet,” he requested, and Erwin squeezed his hand.

“Rest well, Levi,” he replied, and Levi didn’t want to. He wanted to get up, to fucking see, to be back in his office drinking some of Erwin’s blackmailed tea with him. But, for now, he had to rest, and sleep had dug its claws into his weary bodies and pulled him down. Erwin’s hand didn’t slip from his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this part, as always! Feel free to leave a comment or reach me on Tumblr @Killerrs-queen.
> 
> As promised, more fluff next part!  
> Updates may be slower just now because I have a lot of schoolwork to be doing right now, but I’ll try and not leave updates too long!


	15. Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda feel like I should delete and re-upload this because of the whole glitch with not showing updates, but I also don't want to lose the people who are currently reading.

Levi blinked his heavy eyes open, slowly waking up, and leered at the fuzzy white above him, the light drifting in through the windows. Everything felt distant, like he was watching it from under the water in his bathtub, and then he tried to sit up and his body seized.

“You might not want to do that just yet, Levi.”

Levi grunted, slumped back against the slightly uncomfortable bed. “Erwin,” he uttered, and there was a shuffle to his side. He rolled his eyes towards him, squinted at the light blur, and then tried to sit up once more.

“I’m serious, sit down.” Erwin’s hands on his shoulders urged him back down, and Levi protested for only a second before complying. “How are you feeling?”

Levi snorted, turned his head and winced. “Like I need more drugs,” he muttered. They’d worn off and he felt nauseous now, his head spinning and body hot. But he was still safe; he hadn’t imagined returning to the walls, hadn’t conjured the safety of the HQ in some feverish, final-moment delusion.

“I can go get Doctor Beck just now –“

Levi reached out, wound his fingers around Erwin’s wrist and tugged.

“I’m assuming we’re alone,” he said, saw no other blurry, vaguely humanoid-shapes in the room, “so not just yet. I just got back, Commander, and you want to be away from me so soon.”

Erwin scoffed, but Levi heard him sit back down and he turned his hand in Levi’s loosening grip, interlocked their fingers. “You’re speaking nonsense. How hard did you hit your head?”

Levi lashed out, hitting Erwin’s forearm, and he could feel the Commander’s smirk, his smug eyes staring down at him. He pulled his hand from Erwin’s to grip the bed poles by the sides instead and he pulled himself up into a sitting position. He shook the bed posts until it slid down.

“You’re not ready to get up yet,” Erwin said, a hand on his shoulder, but he didn’t press.

“And that’s why you’re going to go clear the halls out so I can use you on your way to your room,” Levi replied, carefully dangling his legs over the edge of the bed until his toes brushed the floor. Erwin’s chair scraped the floor as he moved back and he heard him sigh.

“You know, you’re going to make Doctor Beck kill me one of these days,” he said, and Levi tipped his head, quirked his lips.

“You can take it, Commander,” he teased, and then shoved him. “Now, go. Get all the brats out of the corridor.”

“You’d think you were Commander with all your orders,” Erwin commented, and Levi shrugged.

“You’re the one that takes them,” he stated, and heard Erwin’s soft chuckle before he left. If he strained his ears hard enough he could hear his voice, ordering everyone out of the corridors, away from the stairs, and after a few minutes the door groaned open.

“All’s clear,” Erwin reported, and Levi held a hand out, heard Erwin walk closer. Erwin took his hand, the other reaching around his waist and he all but holds Levi up once he slides off the bed.

“How’s Armin and Mikasa?” He asked, awkwardly hopping alongside with his hands clawing into Erwin’s shirt, hanging onto him. The white of the infirmary changed to the brown tones of the wooden corridor.

“After they’d been seen to,” Erwin said, shifted his grip on him, “they got some food in the mess hall and then went back to their room. They’re still in their rooms resting just now, I believe, and the other cadets are out training. Armin will be off for a while until his wrist heals.”

Levi nodded his head in satisfaction but didn’t reply further, evening his breathing through his nose.

“Stairs,” Erwin said, and Levi felt dread wash over him. They shuffled up the first couple, Erwin supporting him while he hopped up the stairs, clinging to Erwin and not putting his injured leg down, until Erwin made a noise of dissatisfaction.

“This is possibly the most ineffective way to go up the stairs,” he comments, and Levi dug his nails into his back.

“I’m doing the best I fucking can with one leg and no eyes,” Levi snapped back and, as if trying to make a point, he went for the next step but miscalculated and would have fell if not for the Commander.

“Hold on, hold on,” the man muttered, shifting his grip on the muttering Captain, and then suddenly there’s nothing under his feet but Erwin’s arm’s under his knees, his other under his back and holding him against his chest. Levi’s stomach lurches and he throws an arm around his shoulder, placing his other hand over the thick bandaging on his abdomen.

“Fucking hell,” Levi muttered, but rested his head back against his shoulder and let out a breath.

“I’m doing you a favour,” Erwin stated, and Levi hummed dubiously.

“I think you just like me being weak,” he said, and Erwin hummed.

“And what would you do if I did?” He asked smugly, and Levi dug his fingers into his shoulder.

“I could kill you,” Levi said, narrowing his eyes at the blur of his face. This close he could see a slight pink of his lips, a fuzzy blue of his eyes.

“Not just now you couldn’t,” Erwin corrected, and Levi reached towards his foot before realising he wasn’t wearing his boots and his other knives had been taken off in the infirmary or were in the bag he’d brought back.

“Any other time,” Levi muttered, and Erwin hummed sarcastically. He realised they were no longer on the stairs and he shifted slightly, sucked in a breath at the sharp pain it brought.

“You can put me down now, asshole,” he growled, hit his back, and Erwin didn’t. He continued to carry him in an unrelenting grip untilt hey got to his room undisturbed, and he only put him down once they reached his bed. It was neat and made, and Levi could smell cleaning supplies. It made his lips quirk upwards.

“You should get some rest,” Erwin said, and Levi snorted. He shifted slightly until he was comfortable in a position that didn’t hurt his wounds and he could watch Erwin’s unclear form.

“I literally just woke up,” Levi replied, and Erwin shrugged.

“Doesn’t mean you don’t need rest.”

“I should be out there,” Levi said abruptly, a hint of venom in his voice, “finishing that missions, helping Hange with those – Hange,” he cut off, his eyes going slightly wide. He’d brushed her off when he’d gotten in yesterday, longing for some time alone with Erwin, and he’d completely forgotten that she’d been injured. “How is she? She was hurt.”

The bed dipped as Erwin sat on it near him and rested his hand on Levi’s calve. “She’s alright. We treated her as best we could outside the walls and once we got back. She’ll be off heavy duty for another week or two, but she’s doing fine. She’s still running around and fully capable of irritating you to death.”

Levi felt relief slide the tension down off his shoulders and he nodded. “Good. Shitty-glasses deserves a break anyway,” he muttered and slid back down the bed to rest his head on the pillow. He blinked furiously, raised his hands to rub his eyes and stared in Erwin’s direction. The light and shadows cast by the candles in the room was messing with his poor vision, confused his depth of field, and it frustrated him. He could feel it swell and bubble in his bruised ribcage, and he closed his eyes. Nothing had improved since yesterday, or at least none that he could tell.

“I’ll need a report, Levi. I’ve yet to speak to Armin and Mikasa, but I feel I should probably talk to you first. We didn’t account for any danger that you and Hange, with backup, wouldn’t be able to handle.”

Erwin’s hand fell onto Levi’s cheek, his thumb brushing over his prominent cheekbone. “What happened, Levi?”

Levi remembered pale, gaunt faces of the titans, their cat-like eyes, the way they moved silently. _Le…vi_. A shiver ran down his spine.

“Titans,” he said, “in the forest. It was… Wrong. We must have missed a spot when we searched the perimeter.” He shook his head dismissively, tried to think back. They hadn’t missed a single spot. “There was no sign of titans getting into that forest. Logically, they shouldn’t be there. There’s no way they could get in without leaving a trace.” He was rambling. He knew he was rambling and he knew Erwin knew that, too.

“They weren’t… Normal, Erwin. They weren’t-“ He was panicking. Why was he panicking? Levi closed his eyes, forced down the panic tightening his throat and took several breaths to compose himself. “They were unlike any titan we’ve seen. They were all huge, they would have left a trace getting into the forest but they hadn’t. They were dead silent. I couldn’t even hear them coming. They were fast. Hange got grabbed first on our retreat. I stayed at the rear. I got hit and grabbed, and before I got out I got grabbed again.”

_Its sharp teeth, aware eyes, saying his name._

“Levi?”

He snapped his eyes up towards Erwin, blinked a few times. “Everyone was retreating,” he continued with a dismissive shake of his head, “and didn’t notice I’d gotten grabbed. That titan didn’t even eat me. It just held me, stared right into my eyes and it… It said my name, and tossed me away.”

He could feel Erwin’s eyes burning into him dubiously, knew the exact expression he had on his face, and Levi rolled his eyes.

“Don’t look at me, Smith. You wanted to know what happened; I told you exactly what happened. And that includes a talking titan that knew my fucking name and had no interest in eating me.”

He heard Erwin let out a small breath, felt his warm hand move up and run through his hair. “Then we have a much bigger problem than we thought,” he said, and Levi heard each meaning in the sentence. He closed his eyes and nodded his head.

“Yes,” he agreed, “we do. And the fire, Erwin. Care to explain that?”

“I told the cadets it was accidental. I believe most of them have suspicions, but none saw anything else either.”

“It wasn’t an accident, was it?” Levi asked, felt his heart speed up.

“I believe someone was out there with us that set the fire.”

“You’re usually right. They might have known about our plan – or at least had suspicions that we were guessing about it. They might know about it, might have set that fire to get you to run off, might have set those titans to kill Hange and I. If that’s the case, Commander, we can’t just sit around.”

Erwin’s hand slid down to rest on his neck, and, hesitant, Levi reached out to grip his wrist. He pressed his fingers down, found his pulse, and counted it. Steady beats, strong, confident, and Levi embraced it. Erwin was always steady and confident, always strong and a leader. He never panicked, he was sure in each movement he made, each decision he made, and Levi felt stupid for feeling so frantic. He couldn’t help it, though. He was as useless as a new born kitten and he wouldn’t be able to do anything unless his attacker was right on top of him. Even then, all they had to do was dig their filthy fingers into his stomach or his thigh and he’d probably black out.

Levi grit his teeth together almost painfully and held onto Erwin’s wrist.

“We also have no knowledge of what’s going on, why or by who. You need to rest, Levi, and recuperate as quickly as possible. We’ll resume as usual otherwise, ‘play dumb’. If anyone asks, the fire was an accident and you don’t remember anything about the titan encounters. Yes?”

Levi nodded, slowly let go of his wrist. “Of course,” he replied with a nod, letting out a small breath. “Of course.”

Erwin moved slightly and Levi reached for his wrist again. His hand travelled up and to his neck, and he pulled him down, ran his hand down and gripped his jaw.

“Do you trust me, Levi?” Erwin asked, but it was unnecessary. They both knew the answer. His breath was warm and intoxicating against his lips.

“Of course,” Levi replied softly, and then he tugged his chin forwards and caught his lips.

Levi felt like he was on fire, but it was great. He’d been longing to see Erwin again since he thought he might never do it again, and if he couldn’t see him – clearly see him – then he’d hear him, feel him.

He pulled Erwin closer with his trembling hand gripping the back of his shirt. He really had thought he wouldn’t live to see Erwin again. It seemed Erwin shared the sentiment, too, with his near-bruising grip on Levi’s wrist and shoulder.

The bed dipped as Erwin moved closer, pressed his chest against Levi’s and Levi felt a sharp pain run through his abdomen and thigh. He grunted against Erwin’s mouth and the Commander stopped immediately, lifted himself away.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “I got carried away.”

Levi took a deep breath, pushed the aches away, and almost laughed. “Don’t fucking apologise Erwin,” Levi replied, “I needed that.”

“I won’t write anything you’ve told me,” he said, and Levi could hear his breaths just getting under control, “just in case. Now, we pretend like it’s never happened. You heal – the scouts will want to see you around soon. Everyone took a great hit when we thought you were dead.”

“I’m touched.”

“I still have to file my own report for the mission. You should rest. I’ll wake you up for lunch.”

Erwin pushed his hair back from his face, and his lips ghosted over his forehead. It was horrifically domestic and usually Levi was never so careless with intimate exchanges – anyone could be watching or listening – but he almost couldn’t care at the moment. Levi closed his eyes, listened to Erwin’s footsteps and the scrape of his desk chair as he sat down, the ruffle of papers, and he focused on that until consciousness slid through his fingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter! Also, heads up, we'll probably be switching POV's next chapter - hence why this one's rather short.


	16. Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I hope you enjoy this!

Once he’d seen to Levi getting safely into a bed, Erwin left his side and turned back to his desk flooded with paperwork. He had hardly caught a break since they’d returned to the walls; reports of the mission to be filled, casualty and death reports and letters, and he had started those concerning Levi’s. The paper stared up at him, black and white eyes reminding him of the horror, grief and guilt he’d felt for the past few days assuming Levi was, if not already dead, then as close to death as he’d ever seen the man.

He couldn’t say that leaving Levi was the hardest decision he’d ever made, but it would certainly be in his top five. He may not have regretted the decision – he, and Levi, knew that he couldn’t risk losing three men for an entire squad – but he knew he wouldn’t have forgiven himself as long as he lived, wouldn’t have doubted it all.

His eyes fell on the man, seemingly sound asleep on the bed, and they lingered. He was probably going to get chewed up and spat out by the doctor for moving him, and up a set of stairs no less, but he knew he had the option of assisting Levi up here or letting the man hop his way back to his own room, which would have undoubtedly ended disastrously with one working leg and no working eyes.

Erwin’s own eyes slid closed at that before he turned to look out of the large window behind his desk. Blindness was never something one really thought about, especially not in this profession. Amputation, willingly or unwillingly; yes. Being crushed into the floor like mush; yes. Certain death and injuries one couldn’t return to a normal life with? Definitely. But not blindness, and definitely not associated with Levi.

Though Doctor Beck had been optimistic, as well as Doctor Nile, there was always the chance that nothing would improve. Levi would be unable to return to any semblance of what his life once was and he knew it would destroy him in a way no titan’s gaping mouth could.

The way Levi’s cloud-glazed eyes had never looked directly at him, hadn’t reacted to anything, sent chills down Erwin’s spine.

He crumpled the paper concerning Levi’s ‘presumed dead in action’ status and threw it aside in favour of a fresh piece of paper. Writing Hange’s name and title, he began to detail her injuries and retelling of the incidents, minus anything hinting that they encountered anything unusual other than a hard hit of bad luck.

 

An intermediate amount of time later and there was a knock at his door. Looking up from his desk, Erwin glanced at Levi’s still form in bed, in the same position he’d been in since he touched the bed. He didn’t even twitch at the sound, which was bother reassuring that he was resting and unnerving, for Levi was a horrifically light sleeper.

“Come in,” he said and leaned back in his chair, stretched his legs out under his desk.

The door groaned open and in walked a familiar brunette walked in with the tap of her boots. Hange flashed a grin and nudged the door closed with her heel.

“Morning, Commander,” she greeted. Erwin tipped his head in response, folding his hands together on his lap.

“Hange,” he greeted, “how are you feeling today?” He asked.

“A bit achy, still got a lovely limp, but all around much better than him.” Her head tipped towards the raven in the next room, oblivious to the world around him. Erwin’s lips twitched slightly and he sighed in quiet agreement.

“Lucky for some,” the woman joked with a slight shake of her head. There was a glint of something in her eyes; guilt, perhaps, or concern.

“He’s doing alright,” Erwin stated, and Hange raised an eyebrow.

“I know what’s happened. We both know what will happen if he doesn’t get better.” There was a sadness in her words that Erwin could relate to, but also a guilt and self-blame that she tried to hide.

“You know it’s not your fault,” he stated calmly, raising his eyebrows until she looked back at him. “You’re not responsible for what happened in that forest. No one is.” If there was something Erwin had learned, it was to not take blame for something you didn’t directly cause. In the situations they faced, self-blame could ruin a person.

Hange shifted from foot to foot awkwardly, shrugging. “If I hadn’t gotten injured we would have gotten out of their quicker.” It was a rare thing to see Hange vulnerable like this, opening up, and Erwin respected that she trusted him enough to do so.

“And if I hadn’t ordered you out there, none of you wouldn’t have gotten hurt. But it’s neither of our fault. Levi informed me of most of what happened in that forest anyway, and I’m not sure if you, Armin or Mikasa are aware of what Levi is or not.”

At that, Hange perked up, eager to change the topic of conversation.

“And what’s that?” She asked, placing her hands on the dark surface of Erwin’s desk. Erwin’s eyes subconsciously flitted to the door and he stilled, listened for a moment, but other than the ruckus outside of people training and the echoes of footsteps corridors away, there was no signs someone was by his door. The Commander’s room and office was, probably, the most safe and secure room in the entire building, and luckily pretty soundproof.

“The titans in that forest,” he said, dropping his volume, “Levi reported that they were different to the ones we usually face. The entire scenario was off.”

Hange’s lips pressed into a thin line and she bobbed her head in agreement. “I didn’t get a good look at the titans, but I did think that all of them must have been abnormals. But is Levi trying to imply there was… Some other kind of titans hiding there? That’s… Well, first of all, amazing and we have to go back there, but also possibly something very bad.”

Erwin nodded, clasped his hands together and rested them on the desk. “He told me that the one that got the better of him spoke.”

Hange’s eyebrows shot up, a look of utter fascination and amazement covering her face. “A titan spoke to him?” She repeated dubiously, and then her lips twitched into a grin and she stood up. “Fuck, Erwin, this is… this is crazy!”

“There’s more.” Both adults froze at the new voice, turning to look at the raven in the bed, propped slightly up on his elbows. His hair was slightly messy and falling out of place, his cheeks slightly flushed with sleep, and he stared off towards them through the doorway separating Erwin’s office and room with half-lidded eyes.

“You’re awake!” Hange said, and Levi snorted.

“I wish I wasn’t, but with you two buffoons blathering among each other so damn loudly I’d be surprised anyone in the quarters could get some rest. Anyway,” Levi cleared his throat, pushed the blanket down him slightly and twisted with a grunt, “the titan spoke to me. In fact, the titan said my name and didn’t try to eat me or tear me apart. It looked almost aware.”

Hange stared at Levi with wide eyes, obviously trying to process and make sense of everything, before she just let out some animalistic, choked out squeal.

“We have so much to work out,” she said, and Levi scoffed. He slid back down onto his back and turned his head away from the two of them.

“Have fun with it. And be fucking quiet, will you?”

The two lapsed into silence quickly, watching Levi’s closed eyes and parted lips. Slowly, Erwin turned to look at Hange.

“We aren’t telling anyone of this. The information doesn’t leave this room. You all need to rest now, and once everyone’s healed I may look into returning there.”

Hange nodded seriously, pushing herself off his desk and standing upright. “Got it, Commander,” she replied and flashed a grinned to him, and Erwin waved a hand to dismiss her.

“If that’s all, then you should still be resting. We need you in good shape as soon as possible. Have you seen Ackerman and Arlert today?”

Hange, a few steps closer to the door, inclined her head. “I saw them in the mess hall earlier at breakfast with those not in the hospital. They’re probably still there.”

Erwin stood up, chair rolling across the wooden floorboards, and he followed Hange to the door. “Thank you.”

He stepped outside and glanced back at Levi’s motionless form in his bed, and then he closed the door quietly. He walked down the corridor with Hange parting ways shortly, and he made his way to the mess hall.

It was as busy as usual minus the handful of people resting, and Erwin easily found the cadets in the 104th squad sitting at their usual table. Armin and Mikasa were sitting with the others, picking at their breakfast, but they all looked up when Erwin neared.

“Mikasa, Armin, if you have a moment I’d like to talk to you.”

The two in question nodded, pushing their breakfast aside and standing up. Armin’s wrist was in a cast and both of the cadets still looked pale and skinnier than when they left the walls, but better than they had when they first arrived back at base.

The three of them left the mess hall and Erwin debated on just hopping into a side room, but eventually settled on just taking them back to his office to talk. He waved a hand at the chairs at one end of his desk while he sat down in his own desk chair.

“How are you two feeling now?” He asked, eyes flicking between the two.

“It’s, ah, it’s good to be back, Sir. I’m feeling better already,” Armin reported and Erwin nodded, satisfied.

“Good. I hope you’re getting enough rest.” His eyes turned to Mikasa, calmly staring back at him.

“Good, thank you, Sir. I don’t think I’ll need long before I’m fit to resume my duties,” she said, and Erwin waved a hand slightly.

“Take the rest. You deserve it; both of you. I need to thank you for what you did out there; without you two, Levi wouldn’t have made it. There are plenty of people who wouldn’t have gone back for him in that kind of situation.” His eyes, serious and approving, bore into them and Armin shifted slightly in his seat under the weight of his gaze.

“Thank you, Sir. If you don’t mind me asking, how is he? I’m assuming he’s been moved to the hospital?” Mikasa pried gently. Erwin shook his head and glanced towards the door, slightly ajar, that separated his office and bedroom and hid Levi from view currently.

“He got treated here and is resting here. If his condition worsens, we’ll move him to the hospital, but it isn’t currently necessary and moving him right now would probably just make it worse. He is, hopefully, asleep right now, but knowing him he’s probably listening into this if he isn’t.”

Armin snickered slightly at that, but nodded. “He’s improving though, right? And his… eyes?”

At that, Erwin slouched back into his chair and let out a sigh.

“For the most part, he’s improving, yes,” he nodded, watching the door. “As for his sight… both of the doctors have said that there’s a high chance it’ll heal, but until then, we can’t say. It could take days or weeks or never, for all we know. But until his body’s healed, we shouldn’t expect his eyes too, either.”

The two cadets shared a brief look, a glint of knowledge in them, and Erwin sat up slightly more. “I’m assuming you know about that too now,” he said, and Armin’s cheeks flushing slightly was the only answer he needed.

“Well,” Erwin said, clasping his hands together and stretching his legs out, “all I’ll say is that I trust you two, and it seems Levi does too, but there will be consequences should any word get out. I can promise that.”

Armin gulped audibly, seemingly slightly paler, which Erwin hadn’t thought possible, and Mikasa even looked uncomfortable. The two nodded eagerly, and Mikasa bowed her head.

“We won’t say a word, Sir,” she promised, and Erwin nodded approvingly.

“Stop threatening cadets, Commander.” Levi’s hoarse voice called from the other room, and there was a creak from the bed. Erwin let out a sigh.

“Levi, you should be resting.” The Commander rose to his feet and peered in through the door. Levi was still lying in bed but his eyes were open and looking at the wall opposite him, though flicked over to Erwin when he heard his footsteps in the doorway.

“Levi,” Erwin sighed, “you should be resting.”

“We had this talk no less than twenty minutes ago, didn’t we? Only there was someone more annoying with you. How are the brats?” He asked, sarcasm in his words melting away at the last question.

“They’re well. Resting, like you should be.”

Levi scoffed and rolled his clouded eyes, but he put his head back down on the pillow gently. “I smell dust,” he complained, “you’ve not cleaned this room well.”

“I have been rather busy,” Erwin stated, and Levi replied with a huff of breath.

“Whatever.”

“I’ll bring your lunch up soon.”

He stepped out of the bedroom and closed the door, turning to look at the cadets once more. “I’ll give you these,” he said, and he swept up a couple of papers and handed them to each cadet, “I need you to fill out your report of what happened that night. And, if I may, I suggest not writing anything that implies anything unusual happened that night. But that doesn’t leave this room.”

Though they looked slightly confused, the two nodded and agreed not to. They took the papers and slowly rose to their feet. Erwin nodded, saying “you’re dismissed. Continue to rest well,” and the cadets left the room quietly with a glance to the door hiding Levi.

Erwin’s footsteps were quiet as he came closer to the door and quietly opened it, eyes falling on Levi, who was looking towards him. The bed croaked as Erwin’s weight settled on it and he placed a large hand on Levi’s hip, sharp under the blanket.

Levi’s eyelids fluttered down for a moment. “It’s been a while,” he said, and Erwin raised an eyebrow.

“What has?” He asked, and Levi let out a soft sound akin to amusement.

“This. The Survey Corps. We’ve been doing this for a while. Do you ever really think about that, Erwin? How many years has the Survey Corps been doing this? How many people have gone out of the walls and not returned? We’re just another generation of the Scouts, yet we seem to be lasting longer than the average.”

Slightly startled by Levi’s deep thoughts, Erwin was momentarily unsure of how to respond. It was a rare side of Levi that Erwin got the honour and privilege of witnessing, the honour of having Levi trust him enough to open up, show more of himself, his thoughts, his personality. Erwin appreciated the trust.

“It’s been a few years,” he agreed, his thumb rubbing circles on his hip, “many more since the Survey Corps was formed. Almost one-hundred and five groups of cadets and thirteen Commanders and a survival rate of less than half. And there’ll be more.”

Levi’s eyes bore blindly into the ceiling above him, his eyebrows furrowed slightly as he thought. Erwin wondered what went on in his mind. He wanted to know what Levi thought of when he was alone, when everyone in the headquarters was fast asleep and even the titans had stopped moving for the night. He wanted to know every chapter of Levi’s life like a book, know his thought process intimately like the way he knew his hand, or the way his own hand fit perfectly on the small curve by his waist.

“What are you thinking?” He asked, and Levi blinked slowly. With effort, he pushed the pillows behind him up slightly so he was slightly sat up, but not enough to strain his wounds. It still made his face twist and tighten. Erwin noticed that without his own sight and the ability to read other peoples’ faces, the ability to control his own slipped slightly. Or perhaps he just didn’t care in Erwin’s presence.

“Some deep shit,” he replied, and Erwin’s lips twitched slightly. Because of course Levi would never preach some ‘meaning of life’ speech to anyone.

“Well now I’m interested,” Erwin said, and Levi scoffed.

“Remember when Mike shoved my face into a puddle?” Levi mused. It was a different branch from what he was actually thinking, but Erwin didn’t press.

“How could I forget? After weeks of the Military Police bugging us to chase down a group of thugs, the satisfaction I felt when he did that was unlike anything I think I’ve ever felt to this day.”

Levi snorted, swatted at him and hit him on the shoulder. “Thanks,” he muttered sarcastically, and Erwin smiled and caught his hand.

“You’ve changed a lot since then,” he replied, and Levi’s face faltered slightly. He raised a brow.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. You’ve improved a lot. From some underground criminal that had to wear an ankle shackle in bed every night, to someone I knew you could be.”

Levi rolled his eyes. “I’m sure you looked into my eyes on that day in the Underground, covered in mud after I’d tried to slit your throat, and thought I’d make one hell of a Scout.”

Erwin             hummed and shrugged, squeezed Levi’s hand and Levi laced their fingers.

“Well, if you put it that way then it sounds like I’m a delusional man with my nose in fairytales,” he stated.

“That’s because you are, idiot,” Levi retorted, tugged his hand and pulled him closer. Against his lips, he uttered, “I hate you, Commander,” and Erwin smiled.

“I love you too, Levi,” he repeated, and Levi hummed something before catching his lips forcefully.

“One day,” Erwin said, pulling back an inch, “I’ll know what you really think.” He sat up, then, and the bed creaked as he leaned forwards but before he could stand, Levi’s fingers clawed his wrist.

“Do you trust me?” He asked, and Erwin tried rub some of the tension out of him with his thumb through his knuckles.

“I’d be dead if I didn’t.”

Levi’s lips twitched, but he was satisfied and he let go of Erwin’s wrist, slumped down into his bed.

“I’ll bring you some tea soon,” he said, and Levi sighed.

“God, please,” he responded, and Erwin let out a small chuckle and closed the door between them.

Erwin stood in front of the window in his office, arms folded across his chest. It was a chilly morning, the sun peeking out from behind stone grey clouds and a cold blue sky. Trees swayed in a breeze and if he listened hard enough he could hear cries and thumps from people training in the courtyard outside.

He wondered what Levi was thinking, and he thought they shared the same opinion.

Something wasn’t right, and it never had been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have a draft of the sequel ready. Some brief outlines, but the title, tags, description, series name, is all done and planned, and I'd assume that this only has, at most, a handful of chapters to go before going onto the sequel.  
> So, if you liked this part, feel free to comment your opinion! I love hearing what you have to say!


	17. Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may have noticed this is the final chapter, and it's surprisingly short. For that, I'm sorry; I really wanted to finish on a bang - on something eight thousand words long or so, full of action and suspense - but really, anything further that this ending is really planned in the sequel. 
> 
> So, I hope you're alright with a rather boring, summary chapter. If anything, think of this and the sequel as the same story, chapter by chapter, just split in two.
> 
> Thank you to everyone that has read and commented, left kudos, bookmarks; I appreciate all of it, and I hope to see you again in the sequel.

The following few days brought little change, but enough. Slowly, people start filtering down from the hospital further into the city and return back to the headquarters, though with strict instructions to avoid hard work and training for different periods of times. Erwin handed the reports in to be filed away in the archives, and he spoke to Levi and Hange in hushed voices.

A new set of crutches appear for Levi, and slowly the Captain began to make his own way around the corridors, though he was always accompanied by either Erwin, Hange, or Doctor Beck.

Doctor Beck checked in with Levi religiously. Erwin told himself it was a good thing, rather than a worrying thing. He got worse before he got better; his body’s temperature raising in aid of his immune system and fighting off small bacterial infections he got through his wounds, but Doctor Beck was a miracle worker and after that scare he didn’t get much worse. He still requested painkillers most days, though his dosage had gotten lower without complaint from him.

Doctor Beck started more intense eye checks with Levi, who, much to everyone’s relief, reported that it was improving, albeit much slower than anyone would like. There was still tension, everyone holding their breath in case there was suddenly a halt in his improving eyesight, but that had yet to happen and being negative never helped anyone, so Erwin focused on the positives of his improving eyesight. He looked at faces, now, could make things out and identify people by appearance alone. He insisted on going around by himself, though relented whenever he had to go downstairs – which was a lot, considering everything was on the ground floor – and got Erwin to assist him.

There really wasn’t much for them to do other than to recover and keep up a calm face. Erwin visited his injured soldiers and, when he was free of paperwork and training, he left the HQ to have his meeting with the Military Police and hand in their reports. Pyxis, unsurprisingly, was there to greet him and the two had wandered the streets as they spoke. And if Erwin asked a few odd questions on his opinions of titans and the possibility of evolution, well, Pyxis would never tell.

During their little walk, a group of children, no older than ten, had watched them with wide eyes and even thumped their fists over their heart when they walked past. Erwin, not one to stamp on a child’s spirit, had tipped his nod and offered a smile and a more gentle salute back to the ecstatic children.

“You could’ve made a fine father,” Pyxis had said, and Erwin had raised a thick eyebrow at him sceptically.

“Being a Commander changes a man, but god knows where the Scouts would be without you.”

“Flattery doesn’t suit you, Pyxis,” he replied, and the older man had shook his head.

“There’s plenty of shitty things about the military and these walls. The thirteenth Commander isn’t one of them. Hell, this generation milked us dry of impressive soldiers.”

“I’ve never seen you this drunk before,” Erwin commented, and Pyxis patted his shoulder.

“This is me sober.”

“Terrifying.”

Pyxis had laughed and nodded, his fingers tapping what Erwin was sure was his beloved flask, hidden under his coat.

He left the city to return to the HQ and his work awaiting him there, always keeping him busy and on his toes.

They ran more training with the cadets once most people seemed to be up to it, starting slow to guide them back into their gruelling training, and he had multiple more meetings in the privacy of his office with Hange and Levi.

“I wish I knew what the fuck was happening, Erwin, I do. But I don’t, and other people do, and they want to keep it that way.” Levi was sitting by the window, his head tilted in the direction of Hange and Erwin though his eyes were trained thoughtfully on the floor.

“We need to start at the roots. We don’t even know what makes the titans we’re familiar with, how they are. We can’t expect to find what makes those ones different when we can’t figure out the first ones. And I, for one, volunteer all of my services to figuring that out,” Hange offered, a grin on her lips that didn’t reach her eyes.

“I know you will,” Erwin replied, and Levi snorted.

“We need to go back out there,” Levi said, turning finally to look at them and leaning back against the window. “As soon as possible.” Ever since the ‘incident’, as they’d been referring to it, he’d been itching for answers, to get back out there and figure out what was going on and what they needed to do. He didn’t like not knowing, only having the idea that they’d been lied to; that everyone had been lied to.

“And we will. But I need you better than you ever have been before, and only then will I consider leading a mission out there.”

Levi pressed his lips together, shifted on his feet and tipped his head down. “We need more than just us,” he said, and if he said it a little too quickly, none of them commented.

“And who would you suggest?” Erwin asked.

Levi thought for a moment, drumming his fingers on his upper arms. “Moblit, if he can be spared. Ackerman would be a good choice.  Yeager is debatable; he could go good or bad, and I’m not sure I want to risk that. Kirstein, Blouse, Arlert, perhaps. Reiner.” A part of him wanted more people, urged himself to request the entirety of the 104th, every single Scout they could share. But there was the realistic part of him that wanted as little people as possible to come, as little possible casualties. Another part of him wanted less people because he simply didn’t trust them. What would happen if people he was supposed to trust with his life, to be responsible for theirs, knew everything that was going on, knew the truth.

But he had to trust them. If he didn’t trust them, then the Survey Corps was meaningless and they had nothing left. He had nothing left.

Erwin hummed thoughtfully at his choices before taking note of the names, his pen scraping along the paper.

“I’ll think about it. For now, we continue training and recovering,” Erwin said, and neither Levi nor Hange could argue with that.

More time was spent as usual. At night, Levi would stare at Erwin’s face, occasionally trace his cheekbones and jaw with the tip of his finger, printing the sight to memory as his vision returned gradually.

Doctor Beck reinforced the positive news, saying that it did seem that Levi’s eyes were only making forward progress and shouldn’t backtrack. It was much needed news that they welcomed, and it brought some relief to the stressed veterans. His other wounds, too, seemed to be healing well; he started some slow physical therapy for his leg, and his abdomen was just a case of healing.

Soon enough, the crutches disappeared and he was walking, albeit shorter distances, without much aid. Erwin used the lack of crutches as an excuse to wind an arm around the hot-headed mans waist ‘for support’, much to Levi’s unspoken pleasure.

Levi himself was extremely grateful for the day his crutches were taken away and he could start being useful once more. It started with using his energy and slightly-better mobility to clean Erwin’s horrific office and bedroom, and then dusting his own. He fetched his own tea and food and did his rounds with supervising the training in the courtyard, though it took longer still before he supervised any more training in the training forest, and using his own gear and doing any of his own training took even longer, much to Levi’s displeasure.

He was all but desperate to get back into the swing of things, keep himself at top level and fit, yet it still ended up being closer to two months before he was starting his training again with no complications from his previous wounds.

To him, it somehow felt like time had gone by both incredibly slowly and in a blur at the same time. For almost the entirety of his recovery he was on edge, more alert than usual, more perceptive and watching people more closely. It never hurt to be careful, but the constant paranoia wore thin on him and most likely did nothing for his actual recovery. But to ask Levi to simply relax was the most stupid request, and he was sure every doctor and veteran knew better.

They began to make some progressive on the idea of leaving the walls again, planning to follow Levi’s idea of finding out the roots of their familiar titans first, and then go from there.

Levi wasn’t there to see whatever Hange did, and nor was Erwin. He chose to only send out a small group with Hange and Moblit to research that first under the façade of trying to capture another titan to experiment on, and it was a handful of days later that, thankfully, they all returned unharmed, and Hange had stormed into Erwin’s office with a grim face. Her news rested heavy on their shoulders, wound its way around Levi’s ribs and pulled them taught, crushed them into his lungs and his heart. He hadn’t been killing mindless beasts, but people. Possibly people he’d passed in the street, mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers and friends, people he’d fought with. How they became titans? They’d yet to figure that out, but they knew, now, that was the fact.

The information caused a rift in the veterans for a few days. Hange, Levi and Erwin seemed too busy in their own whirlwind of thoughts to discuss the matter at hand. Levi slept in his own office chair again, like old times, and Hange became a recluse to her lab and Erwin busied himself in thoroughly completing each piece of paperwork that he had, and the most they exchanged was a nod or a report on the cadets or training.

It broke on a Thursday night. Levi had just dried off after a shower to clean the sweat and dust off of him from training and he was looking forwards to a steaming cup of tea when there was a knock at his door. The vision of a quiet night alone shattered in front of him, and he heaved a sigh before beckoning the person outside to enter.

It was none other than Hange, her messy hair tied into an even messier than usual ponytail at the back of her head.

“Erwin’s called for a meeting,” she told him, “now.”

“Of course he has,” Levi sighed. He brushed his hands up and down himself, smoothing out any wrinkles in his clothing, and then followed the scientist out into the corridor and up to the Commander’s office. Erwin was waiting for them there, sitting behind his desk with a long piece of paper spread out in front of him. Hange took a seat and Levi closed the door behind him. A good idea of what this meeting was about in his mind, he locked the door before sitting as well.

“How are you both feeling?” Erwin asked, and Levi glanced briefly at Hange.

“Ah, fine? I mean I could really go for a nap-“

“I’m talking about you recovery-wise,” Erwin cleared with a look, and the brunette smiled sheepishly.

“That makes sense. In that case; fine. Good as new, ready to throw myself into a titan infested forest, ya’ know.”

Erwin hummed, dipping his head in a small nod and turning to Levi.

“And you?”

Levi shrugged. “Fine. I’ve continued with training again, nothing hurts, nothing’s bad. I’m ready for any immediate outings.”

“And your sight?”

It was clear now. The Erwin in front of him was as clear as he thought he’d seen him before. The people on the courtyard outside the window? Not as much, but that didn’t matter.

“Fine,” he said, “like usual.” Erwin raised an eyebrow and Levi returned it. The Commander eventually nodded, leaning back in his chair. The health of his soldiers checked and seemingly satisfied, he was ready to actually start the meeting.

“If that’s so,” he said, “then I want to go ahead with another mission to the forest. Soon.”

“How soon?” Hange asked, and Erwin thought for a moment.

“Preferably no later than next Monday.”

That was in five days, Levi thought. The Commander seemed as eager to figure out everything as he was.

“Who else is coming?” He asked. On the end of the armrests of the chair, his hands twitched slightly.

“Moblit; Hange, you can explain everything to him. Ackerman, Kirstein, Blouse, Braun, Arlert and Yeager.”

Levi pressed his lips together. Strong people. But still cadets nonetheless. And that wasn’t taking into account the huge risk Yeager was.

But Levi trust Erwin, and so he nodded. “I’ll talk to them,” he said, and Erwin tipped his head.

“Tell them to be ready for Saturday, if possible. And if anyone else asks, it’s a Yeager mission.”

He and Hange stood up, the chairs scraping back on the wooden floor.

“Yes, Sir,” the replied, and Hange lead the way out. Levi turned to look at the Commander and their eyes caught. They both knew and understood fully well that they were going to find something they didn’t want to know – and that they shouldn’t.

 Levi just hoped it didn’t get them killed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it. Pretty anticlimactic, I know, but the sequel is due out soon and really, it's just one big story split into two because I can.  
> Either way, I hope you enjoyed it and I look forwards to the sequel!


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